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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

...to refuse any more parcels for next door neighbours?

116 replies

Justmuddlingalong · 21/01/2015 14:56

I think my next door neighbours have put me down as the official 'taker-inner' of their parcels, without asking. I am at home during the day, so always take in parcels. But it's getting ridiculous. I've taken in 2 separate deliveries today alone, for next door. They work all day, Mon-Fri, so the postman and numerous delivery drivers knock on my door, and I'm getting pissed off with it. When they get home, I take the parcels to their door, where I get a grunt in what I presume is thanks. Dp is nightshift, so it's annoying him too. I don't want to be unneighbourly, but should I just start refusing to take in next door's many parcels?

OP posts:
SauvignonBlanche · 21/01/2015 14:57

YANBU, just say No!

Nolim · 21/01/2015 14:57

Yanbu. Just tell the delivery guy you are not accepting the responsibility.

Chocolatefudgebrownieicecream · 21/01/2015 14:59

Yanbu

EhricLovesTheBhrothers · 21/01/2015 15:01

Just say no. Twats. They could at least be grateful!

dementedpixie · 21/01/2015 15:02

or take them in and then wait for them to come and collect them so you don't have to feel you are doing all the work

HeeHiles · 21/01/2015 15:02

Don't answer the door!

glenthebattleostrich · 21/01/2015 15:03

If its not convenient of course not. Some will say you're not being very neighbourly but I suspect they've not had neighbours who take advantage.

We fell out with our neighbours after DD was born and they would start DIY at 7am on a Sunday or 9pm on a Tuesday night (for example) and they park just far enough across our drive so we couldn't park on it. Didn't stop them putting a note on the door telling delivery drivers to deliver to glen at no 74 without bothering to check it was ok. They actually had the cheek to complain when I refused their parcels (3 in 1 day)

hestialou · 21/01/2015 15:05

Often the postman knows who is in on the street, personally and hate parcels being left at neighbour would much rather collect from depot. But they should say thanks at least

LadySybilLikesSloeGin · 21/01/2015 15:05

I work from home (odd hours so I sleep when I can) and had this problem from both sides (I live in a terrace). One neighbour put a sign on his door directing deliveries to my house (didn't ask) Hmm I refused to accept one once as the driver had just woke me up after 3 hours sleep and I was pissed off. The "No, I can't take that" slipped out and I closed the door, it felt good! I no longer answer the door now. They get a lot delivered by DHL - you can change the delivery and track it to the minute so there's no excuse.

ispentitwithyou · 21/01/2015 15:07

Omg! That is freaky!

I was just about to start an identical thread saying the exact same thing. I have just text my DH to say does xxxx next door think I'm his effing PA?

I actually find it really rude as most companies let you choose a round about delivery day/time don't they??

I also have a husband who works nights and a baby who takes day time naps,and considering I sometimes struggle to find the time to have a wee it is starting to grate....

I never ever take the parcels found tho,it does mean I am on tenterhooks though all eve waiting for a knock on the doorAngry and feel like I have to stay in day time clothes when usually I'm in pjs at six

ispentitwithyou · 21/01/2015 15:09

Epic fail at strike through

newgirl · 21/01/2015 15:09

I've done exactly this - one side are never in and they get deliveries all the time - they've never been good neighbours - i just say no to the drivers who are always pleasant. I do take in for the other side who are always v polite

Original poster
Justmuddlingalong · 21/01/2015 15:10

It's the amount they get delivered. The parcels clutter up the hall. Dp is frequently disturbed due to the door being thumped so loudly and it's practically a daily occurrence, sometimes a few times in 1 day. I don't want to stop opening my own front door.

OP posts:
AMumInScotland · 21/01/2015 15:10

Just say No. The postie will quickly stop trying, and any regular delivery drivers in the area will too. If any of them say 'Oh but it says here to leave it with next door' then you go back to the neighbour and explain politely that they should have checked with you first because it isn't convenient.

They are the ones being un-neighbourly by assuming you will sort things out for them and not even bothering to sound grateful.

crazylady12 · 21/01/2015 15:12

My next door neighbor used to get lots and would bang on my door at 8pm for them I got so angry as I have 2 young children so u stopped taking them

wink1970 · 21/01/2015 15:12

I think your DP's night shift is a legitimate reason to say no.

Just a thought though; I hate it when delivery drivers leave packages with next door. It's clearly written on all of the ebay/amazon/whatever deliveries NOT to leave with a neighbour but in the bin cupboard, but they still do it.

WeirdCatLady · 21/01/2015 15:12

No is a complete sentence.

I'm at home all day and used to be the local post office drop off zone. I got fed up and just started saying No. The delivery drivers don't bother coming here anymore :)

AMumInScotland · 21/01/2015 15:13

Oh and for what it's worth a colleague of mine is now having a real problem with a neighbour from trying to be nice.

The delivery driver brought a package that was for next door. He took it in, and went round in the evening to say it was there. Turned out the neighbour had actually cancelled the order and been planning to 'refuse' the package when it was delivered. Wanted my colleague to deal with it since he'd taken responsibility!

Original poster
Justmuddlingalong · 21/01/2015 15:14

Would it be cowardly to just put a note on my door? If not, help me with the wording, please. Blush

OP posts:
chaosagain · 21/01/2015 15:17

Why do you drop them round to them? Why not let them come and pick them up? I also take a lot of deliveries as I'm self employed and work from home. It's a minor irritation but not a big deal. Other people take them for me too sometimes, I see it as easy neighbourly behaviour. Neighbours tend to pick up a civilised time, though, and tend to be grateful.

I did feel for the neighbour who popped round yesterday for his parcel and had to stand outside listening to my kids row about who opened the door. To his credit, he complied with my 5 year old's request to ring the doorbell again when she shut the door on him so that she got her turn to open it (although was clearly bemused)!

If they weren't polite (in saying thank you) or if one of us was sleeping after night shifts, I'd definitely ask the neighbours to find someone else to nominate for parcels so YANBU.

weeblueberry · 21/01/2015 15:17

It's not cowardly to put a note on the door not that you should have to - I put one on ours when the baby was sleeping and I didn't want anyone to disturb.

Just write 'home owner on nightshift - please don't knock/ring bell with deliveries for other addresses'.

Done.

Original poster
Justmuddlingalong · 21/01/2015 15:23

I chap their door to give them their parcels because they never come to collect them. The houses are terraced, so I just lean over the wall between our gardens, knock the door and hand them the parcels. I always do this just after they've got in, so it's not late.

OP posts:
Melawen · 21/01/2015 15:38

I always feel terrible when my neighbours have very kindly taken in my parcels, especially over Christmas as my DDs birthday was around then too so we had quite a few parcels, so I am always profusely thankful and they say not to worry about it - gave them a bottle of wine too!

At the very least there should be an acknowledgment that it is disruptive and that you are not just rewarded with a grunt at the door!!

ispentitwithyou · 21/01/2015 15:39

Am I the only one who would be on tenter hooks or bed lightly anxious until the parcel was collected....?

Think I might be weird

ispentitwithyou · 21/01/2015 15:39

Be slightly*