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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

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Original poster

...to refuse any more parcels for next door neighbours?

116 replies

Justmuddlingalong · 21/01/2015 14:56

I think my next door neighbours have put me down as the official 'taker-inner' of their parcels, without asking. I am at home during the day, so always take in parcels. But it's getting ridiculous. I've taken in 2 separate deliveries today alone, for next door. They work all day, Mon-Fri, so the postman and numerous delivery drivers knock on my door, and I'm getting pissed off with it. When they get home, I take the parcels to their door, where I get a grunt in what I presume is thanks. Dp is nightshift, so it's annoying him too. I don't want to be unneighbourly, but should I just start refusing to take in next door's many parcels?

OP posts:

SoupDragon · 22/01/2015 07:21

So Just, please give everyone your reason why it's "tough titty" to AntiHop?

^Or are you the type of person to use neighbours as an "unoffical collection point".?
Would you be happy, if your neighbours started to change you (for storage) say...50£ a hour...until you decided to collect? Plus would you be happy to pay the storage fee?^

Er... You realise just is the OP and is the one being used as an unofficial collection point?

chrome100 · 22/01/2015 08:55

If you're at home all day I really don't see the issue? Just take it in and wait for them to come round to collect it.

Kittymum03 · 22/01/2015 09:07

This reply has been deleted

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

Kittymum03 · 22/01/2015 09:10

This reply has been deleted

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

SoupDragon · 22/01/2015 09:13

Just take it in and wait for them to come round to collect it.

That only works if it is a small parcel and the delivery driver has remembered to put a card through their door.

If the neighbour can't muster up any sort of good manners when you've done a favour for them, IMO the favours stop.

MythicalKings · 22/01/2015 09:27

We've always been happy to take in parcels for neighbours because we are around a lot during the day. Delivery drivers know we leave the porch door open so parcels can be left in there in the dry if we are out.

However, just before Christmas we came home to a HUGE parcel in the porch for people recently moved in down the lane. They didn't come round for it that night so the next day DH went to their house to ask them to collect it. It was huge and heavy so he didn't take it with him in case no one was in.

The woman said they weren't expecting it until after Christmas and they didn't have room for it, "What with the decorations." DH explained it would be in their front garden if they didn't pick it up straight away. The man thought DH was being very unreasonable because we live in a "big house" and there's "only 2 of us".

ChocLover2015 · 22/01/2015 09:28

If it's getting out of hand, say no.

Cariad007 · 22/01/2015 09:46

I don't mind taking parcels in most of the time as we live in a secure block so tgey can just be left in the hallway but it got annoying at at xmas as the deliveries always seemed to coincide with DS's nap time. And then my upstairs neighbour, who I'm still yet to meet, had a delivery where she'd specifically told the driver to leave the parcel with me! I thought this was cheek as she could at least have told me first. I just directed him to leave it outside her front door and if she'd had anything to say about it I would've given her what for.

DaygloYellowLady · 22/01/2015 09:49

I had a( thankfully) now ex neighbour lose the plot at me for not delivering a giant box of mail order flowers. She came to the door ranting that she'd had the card for days and that the
flowers would be spoiled. She had to walk past my door every day to get in and out of the building

Aeroflotgirl · 22/01/2015 09:57

They are taking the piss, say no to the delivery drivers.

rainyevening · 22/01/2015 10:07

Oh no, this could have been written about me, and all I'd say in defence is that it can sort of happen without you realising!

I moved house in November. In our old flat, the postman/delivery person would always just leave a slip through the door, and you'd have to go and get it from the Royal Mail depot or wherever. Fine.

We moved to our new place and ordered a LOAD of stuff for the house off the Internet all at once, fully expecting the same thing would happen and that I'd have to make trips to collect.

I was mortified to find that they were all delivered to next door, who very kindly took them in for us.

I dropped over a card and a bottle of wine at Christmas to say thanks, and I've asked if they'd rather we specified that delivery people shouldn't leave things with them. She assured me that she was completely fine with it as she works part time and doesn't mind at all.

The volume has died down now. So I think it can be fine with a bit of consideration and making sure everyone is ok with it.

Lilymaid · 22/01/2015 10:17

The Royal Mail produces an opt out sticker for stuff they deliver. This means that if I am not in, any of my stuff is not delivered to my neighbours as well as that the Royal Mail will not try to deliver neighbours' stuff to me. Since I've had it on my door (I'm usually out at work anyway, but was at home for several months recently with serious illness, so didn't want to be got out of bed/off the sofa too often). I've not had any delivery drivers from other firms knocking to delivering neighbours' stuff to me since I put the sticker on my door.

Aeroflotgirl · 22/01/2015 10:18

Yes if there is some consideration, but op neighbours don't sound grateful when op brings them round. I would just say no sorry you don't know them.

tiredvommachine · 22/01/2015 10:22

You are not BU. They're taking the piss op.

meddie · 22/01/2015 10:22

I get this. live in a cul de sac, work nights, so my car is always here of a day. Over christmas it was a nightmare. I was getting disturbed at least 3 times a day. Even if I say no I am still being woken up.

MagiMinx · 22/01/2015 10:40

Our neighbours have done exactly this for a long time. There is often more than one parcel in a day, and never more than 2 days goes by without one.
I have to admit that I'd been starting to feel a bit miffed, because they never really asked/said anything.

BUT then at Christmas they got us a lovely bottle of wine and thank you card, and now I love them with all my heart and happily take their parcels.

Just some acknowledgment is all it takes. Tell them to get their arses down to Threshers.

MarshaBrady · 22/01/2015 10:41

yanbu, no way for a grunt. where's the gratitude

MagiMinx · 22/01/2015 10:48

rainyevening - ooh, just in case you're actually my neighbour(!), I meant very minorly when I said miffed. Never really minded, and felt like an arse for ever minding at all when you dropped the card/wine round

FluffyTheEvilOne · 22/01/2015 10:52

YANBU.
I am happy to take deliveries for neighbours if I'm in, as a) we don't have a doorbell, and knocking on the door does not wake dd if she's asleep; b) it is an occasional occurrence; c) my neighbours are appreciative, and are also happy to take deliveries for us when needed; and d) my neighbours don't direct deliveries to our house without asking, it's always the deliverer deciding to 'try next door'.

Your neighbours are unfortunately self-entitled bumholes, and you are well within your rights to say no.

bigbluebus · 22/01/2015 11:10

I take in parcels for neighbours although it is not a very regular occurance as most of them are around on and off (retired/part time workers/disabled). They also take in parcels for me occasionally although most of the delivery drivers here are regulars and now know where to put parcels if I'm out - except Royal Mail who always put a card through.

I did get shirty with DH though who constantly orders posters from Snapfish or large photos which won't go through the letter box so postman would put a card through. DH would then expect me to do the 10 mile round trip to the sorting office to collect them as he is at work when s/office is open. So I told him to stop ordering the things too big for the letter box - he relented and now orders them to be delivered to his office. I do take in other things he orders though

My previous NDN once took in a delivery for me. It was one I was expecting but didn't know when it was coming - medical supplies so ordered by a HCP She knocked on my door and handed me a parcel, which I thanked her for. She then said "now I'll go and get the others". I said "Oh are there more". I went to her house to find 14 other boxes cluttering up her hall. . I had serious words with the firm who had sent that delivery out, I can tell you (and profuse thanks and apologies to the NDN)

Original poster

Justmuddlingalong · 22/01/2015 12:38

SteamTrains in answer to your post: So Just, please give everyone your reason why it's "tough titty" to AntiHop?
Or are you the type of person to use neighbours as an "unoffical collection point".?
Would you be happy, if your neighbours started to change you (for storage) say...50£ a hour...until you decided to collect? Plus would you be happy to pay the storage fee?

I started this thread because not only was I the unofficial collection point, but since NDN never collected their parcels,I had become the unofficial parcel deliverer too.

OP posts:

wigglybeezer · 22/01/2015 12:45

I would be tempted to stand on his doorstep and refuse to hand the parcel over until he had uttered the "magic" word.

expatinscotland · 22/01/2015 13:15

Is the note still up on your door, Just? Keep it there. If they still knock, tell them you are not accepting parcels for other addresses.

shovetheholly · 22/01/2015 13:18

I always take in parcels for my neighbours. It takes literally 30 seconds, and I get a quick chat with them when they come over to collect (they are lovely).

I would feel differently if they were rude and horrible. However, it really does pay dividends to keep the peace with neighbours - you never know when you're going to need a favour.

anonymouse86 · 22/01/2015 13:22

Ive started getting mine delivered to the local co op so as to not p*ss off the neighbours as I have stuff delivered pretty much very week.

Just say no to the post man/delivery guy, hes not going to tell them.

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