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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

To actually not give a shiny shit about this.

55 replies

Pepperpigmustdie · 20/01/2015 16:58

Changed name as quite specific.

Hen do drama.

My friend has organised a hen do for herself this summer. It's abroad and at first I really wanted to go, so I paid the deposit.

Fast forward four months, circumstances have changed. I don't want to go.

I messaged my friend out lining why the timing was bad and I couldn't go. I have to prioritise. She replied with "that's fine, but you will still have to pay the full cost as it's not fair on every one else paying more"

I replied that wasn't gong to happen. She then asked for the extra money for room supplements. Then she text and said another person had cancelled and we had to pay £160 to cancel the room Hmm. I told her I still wasn't going to pay more as all I'd been asked is to pay the deposit, which I had. I've just had another text asking for £25.

I've had to stop myself from typing a really arsey reply as today hasn't been great. Dd2 has had an operation which she fought at every step of the way. She is a toddler so was distraught, sore and trying to rip canulars out.

I have real genuine reasons why I'm not going and she knows them. I wasn't given any T&C in regards to cancelations. I'm fed up with it all. I actually could t give a shit as I've more important things to worry about than fucking £25!

OP posts:
Blackout234 · 20/01/2015 17:00

YANBU, especially if she knows your circumstances. I wouldn't give a shiny shit either, just ignore.

BiancaDelRio · 20/01/2015 17:00

YANBU.

She's a moose.

Hurr1cane · 20/01/2015 17:02

She text you when your toddler was in hospital to ask you for £25?

I'd well block her number.

Original poster
Pepperpigmustdie · 20/01/2015 17:03

Thank you blackout and bianca. Starting to get a bit stabby over it.

OP posts:
IgnoreMeEveryOtherReindeerDoes · 20/01/2015 17:04

Agree with you not to give a shiny shit, I appauld you in not texting back telling her to fuckoff and to go read up on what deposit means.

Hope your DD makes quick recovery

Original poster
Pepperpigmustdie · 20/01/2015 17:04

To be fair hurricane she didn't know. But I don't think it would have mattered if she did.

OP posts:
Mrsjayy · 20/01/2015 17:05

God sake what is wrong with people you pulled out she wants money bugger that tell her to stick it up her hoha,

Original poster
Pepperpigmustdie · 20/01/2015 17:06

Thank you ignoreme

My brain is to frazzled today to think of something diplomatic and non inflammatory to reply with.

OP posts:
expatinscotland · 20/01/2015 17:07

You never agreed to any T&C. You never signed an agreement. Therefore, you own nothing.

But she will probably end the friendship.

Original poster
Pepperpigmustdie · 20/01/2015 17:07

Ha ha mrsjay Grin

OP posts:
123rd · 20/01/2015 17:08

Surely if two people have pulled out that's a whole room so just cancel one of the rooms. No single supplement to worry about then. Also ,unless she has paid for everything then the total balance isn't due yet-so probably still adjustable.

lemisscared · 20/01/2015 17:10

But is she going to have to pay out for two empty rooms now?

Why can't people just go on a pub crawl?

hmc · 20/01/2015 17:10

Well, if it was my friends and the rest of them were now going to have to stump up more cash because I'd been flaky and pulled out, I'd feel morally obliged to make sure they weren't out if pocket because of me.

ItsAllGoingToBeFine · 20/01/2015 17:10

I suggest you have a look at the no-show for party invoice thread...

Original poster
Pepperpigmustdie · 20/01/2015 17:10

123 I actually said that last night but apparently we had to pay a cancellation fee for room Hmm now it's whittled down to £25.

I'm kind of thinking it's to pay the room supplement as some others may not want to share.

OP posts:
Whippet81 · 20/01/2015 17:11

YANBU

Obviously you lose your deposit but that's it. That's the whole point of a deposit.

SDTGisAnEvilWolefGenius · 20/01/2015 17:11

"Dear 'friend',

I cannot believe you are chasing me for money when my daughter is in hospital, in pain following surgery. This is not the action of a true friend.

I wish you all happiness in your married life.

Pepperpig".

VickyJH · 20/01/2015 17:12

Tell her pissflaps... If she doesn't like the answer well tough titties!

If she wants money tell her to ask the other cancel-ee Wink

Original poster
Pepperpigmustdie · 20/01/2015 17:13

hmc why do you think my reason is flaky?

OP posts:
expatinscotland · 20/01/2015 17:13

'I suggest you have a look at the no-show for party invoice thread...'

Why? She never agreed to any T&C herself. There is no contract here except between the bride and the hotel.

Another reason why hen do's abroad are so stupid.

Don't pay her £25.

How is it 'flaky' to pull out six months ahead of time?!

ohtheholidays · 20/01/2015 17:13

Sorry to hear about your poor little girl.I hope the operation went well and that's she soon feels betterFlowers

Your friend is being daft.I wouldn't expect to pay anymore than you already have and it's not your fault if someone else has dropped out.

Could you explain about your DD and hope that shuts her up?

ChocLover2015 · 20/01/2015 17:14

there often is a 'change to booking' fee which IME is usually about £30.If this is the case, then I think it is fair that the 2 who have cancelled pay this fee between them .I would ask for proof though.

ChocLover2015 · 20/01/2015 17:16

Why? She never agreed to any T&C herself. There is no contract here except between the bride and the hotel

That is not exactly true, a contract vcan be a verbal agreement.

Floggingmolly · 20/01/2015 17:18

Why do the others pay more because you're not going??? I've worked in hotels; it's fairly standard that only cancellations made less than 48 hours prior to check in attract a charge. If you're going next summer they can sell the room hundreds of times over by then Hmm
She's trying to pawn some other charge off on you. Tell her to do one.

YoniMitchell · 20/01/2015 17:18

She really has some shitty timing OP. Hope your DD is doing OK.

On the hen do though, how many threads have we seen where the organiser is struggling with trying to get those still going to cover the additional costs of someone pulling out after committing - and there's a lot of sympathy.

Swipe left for the next trending thread