To actually not give a shiny shit about this.

[Pepperpigmustdie]

Changed name as quite specific.

Hen do drama.

My friend has organised a hen do for herself this summer. It's abroad and at first I really wanted to go, so I paid the deposit.

Fast forward four months, circumstances have changed. I don't want to go.

I messaged my friend out lining why the timing was bad and I couldn't go. I have to prioritise. She replied with "that's fine, but you will still have to pay the full cost as it's not fair on every one else paying more"

I replied that wasn't gong to happen. She then asked for the extra money for room supplements. Then she text and said another person had cancelled and we had to pay £160 to cancel the room . I told her I still wasn't going to pay more as all I'd been asked is to pay the deposit, which I had. I've just had another text asking for £25.

I've had to stop myself from typing a really arsey reply as today hasn't been great. Dd2 has had an operation which she fought at every step of the way. She is a toddler so was distraught, sore and trying to rip canulars out.

I have real genuine reasons why I'm not going and she knows them. I wasn't given any T&C in regards to cancelations. I'm fed up with it all. I actually could t give a shit as I've more important things to worry about than fucking £25!

I agree with rookie.

You need to find time to talk to her and work out the real cost of cancelling. Be a shame to lose a friend over something which can be sorted out amicably.

"Dear hen,
Sorry I haven't been able to reply before now but DD is in hospital and phone use is restricted.
Can you please email me the booking paperwork and cancellation policy etc so I can see if there's any way of me cancelling without you having to deal with it any more. Obviously I can't do anything straight away but will get onto it as soon as DD is recovering."
Let's you see the paperwork so you can see if hen being unreasonable and advises her of your current situation ( without telling her outright to bugger off)

Hope your dd gets better soon. surely she should be happy with just keeping the deposit?

Hope your DD has a good night and has a smooth and rapid recovery.

Of course this takes priority over hen do stuff, which can wait, but I think your friend is right. If you pulling out pushes up the costs for everyone then you should bear the cost, not them. I completely understand that you don't give a rat's arse about the hen do, but pay up gracefully because money is less important than both your child and your friendships.

Any sort of group holiday involves splitting some costs. If some people pull out, almost inevitably the cost per remaining group member goes up. How would you feel if you felt obliged to go, and the organiser kept ringing you saying the cost had increased due to one person after another pulling out? You'd tell her to go and get the money from the people who pulled out, I'm sure you wouldn't just pay up like a lamb.