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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

My daughter wants Botox for her birthday!

56 replies

CLJ52 · 15/01/2015 09:33

DD1 is 25 in a few weeks and has asked for Botox (or contribution towards it) for her birthday. It's £100 for the treatment although the price isn't relevant to the dilemma.

Since birth, she has had a habit of frowning. It's odd, because she is a very upbeat and positive person. She frowns when she reads, watches TV, drives - it seems to be a very entrenched habit. The result is that she has furrows between her brows which are getting deeper. Her father, uncles and my exMIL all have exactly the same (constantly frowning family!)

I'm not keen on cosmetic surgery anyway but try not to judge others. However, I'm horrified at the thought of injecting poison into your skin, especially for someone so young. She had it before and says it made a difference, but wears off after six months.

AIBU to say no?

OP posts:
SaucyJack · 15/01/2015 09:35

She's £25? YABU.

EatShitDerek · 15/01/2015 09:35

This reply has been deleted

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

Catzeyess · 15/01/2015 09:35

You don't have to give her money for it, get her another present. But you can't stop her and she will prob do it anyway.

paxtecum · 15/01/2015 09:37

I agree with you - Botox is madness.
I wouldn't give my DD money to poison herself.

It must put a massive strain on the lymph glands that filter it out of the body.

hellsbellsmelons · 15/01/2015 09:38

YANU to say no.
But..... if done well then Botox is not cosmetic 'surgery'
It's a painless, quick and easy procedure and £100 is a very cheap quote.
Where is she getting this quote from?
Is it actually 'BOTOX'!? There are other products out there that aren't as good and are much cheaper.
It could help her to frown less as well.
This could 'train' her not to frown which will in turn hopefully reduce the lines in the future.
But it's up to you what you get her but at 25 with those lines, I'd want it too!

QueenTilly · 15/01/2015 09:41

When was the last time she had an eye test?

HolgerDanske · 15/01/2015 09:42

I'd help toward it if that's what my daughter wanted. I've got it too and I'll be having Botox at some stage this year. It's not nice to look like you're scowling all the time when you're perfectly happy. Plus it makes you look tired/stressed/etc.

But of course you're not being unreasonable..

EatShitDerek · 15/01/2015 09:57

This reply has been deleted

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

OhYouBadBadKitten · 15/01/2015 10:02

Agree with QueenTilly - if shes not had an eye test in the last year or so then she needs one.

XiCi · 15/01/2015 10:06

£100 is a standard price for one area
If she is getting deep lines then I don't think she is too young. Sounds like she will get it done anyway and if the lines get too deep it will be too late for botox to work and she will need filler there as well.
It's a really quick painless procedure and results on frown lines are really good. If she is really bothered by her frown lines I'd have no hesitation in paying for her. Try and get a recommendation for a good practitioner

ApocalypseThen · 15/01/2015 10:20

If she wants it, I see no problem. It really isn't cosmetic surgery and if she doesn't like the effect it will wear off.

However, £100 seems suspiciously cheap - make sure she goes to a reputable practitioner.

PurpleStripedSock · 15/01/2015 10:23

You're not being unreasonable. I woudn't give her money for it or towards it as I don't believe it and would want to let her know that I wasn't supporting her decision in having it. Obviously you can't stop it.

I'd buy her something lovely instead.

drbonnieblossman · 15/01/2015 10:27

As her mum, of course you're worried but I think due to her age, just support her in her decision. Agreeing to make the contribution lets her know this.

Shinyshoes2 · 15/01/2015 10:31

I'd do it

Sallyingforth · 15/01/2015 10:37

You do know it's only a short-term fix?
If it works she'll be needing money to repeat it, long before her next birthday.

Original poster
CLJ52 · 15/01/2015 11:01

It's not her eyesight - she has eye tests every year as she wears glasses/contacts. Really - if you saw a family photo of the ex inlaws you would see where it came from! She knows it's a habit and she does consciously try not to when she thinks about it- trouble is that it's unconscious. (hmm wonder if something like hypnotherapy might help)

The place she is going looks reputable - her dad and ex sm go there. Have to say, her dad's frown lines are remarkably improved. He's gone a bit daft though and got it elsewhere - don't think he could frown if he tried! Miaow!

I know I can't stop her going - and I know that she'll pay for it herself when she's working (just changed jobs and waiting on CRB check to come through) I would probably just have given her cash this year but now I know this is what it would go to, I'm a bit reluctant. Then again, it's up to her what she spends her money on.

The fact a fair number of replies think it's not the wrong thing to do are making me think I should just give her the money.

OP posts:
blueshoes · 15/01/2015 11:02

I'd give her the money and also help her to find a reputable practitioner.

Laquitar · 15/01/2015 11:54

If she starts at 25 will she end up with the frozen look by the time she is 35?

TheWitTank · 15/01/2015 11:59

£100 seems very very cheap. Around here prices start at £250 (and that is for one 'area' on the face). I would be really concerned about the qualifications of the practitioner and quality of the product being used -botox is largely unregulated in the UK. 'Fake' botox can lead to lumpy, uneven skin and facial paralysis. Plus, using untrained and unregulated means that you have no legal recourse if something goes wrong. Cheaper botox can mean it has been illegally imported and untested.
I would research the place very thoroughly. Just because a few family members have been using it and haven't had any issues, it doesn't mean it's safe. Encourage her to look around first. A clinic should be happy to discuss the procedure first with a potential client.

squoosh · 15/01/2015 12:21

I'm not into botox but can see how someone with a brow that is furrowed even when it's resting or who has deep 11 lines between the eyebrows would be tempted to try this.

And I can also see why you'd rather she didn't.

But she is an adult and whether you give her birthday money towards it or not is about as far as your influence can go in this matter.

MiddleAgedandConfused · 15/01/2015 12:26

QueenTilly - really good question. Has she had her eyes checked? - she could be squinting, not frowning.

XiCi · 15/01/2015 12:27

I have had botox from a number of reputable places over the years and £100 is very much a standard price for one area. I have had the same practitioner for a number of years now, she is an RGN, very experienced, trained with a top consultant in LA and has clients in various cities in the UK including a Harley St practice. She charges £96 for one area. I think some companies just rip customers off, esp the uk wide 'chains' that offer a number of procedures. Certainly I don't this scaremongering is in order when the Op knows at least 2 people that are happy with their results!

atticusclaw · 15/01/2015 12:31

I have botox through my GP and £99 is the standard price for one area (£175 for two) so don't be put off by the price.

Nancy66 · 15/01/2015 12:33

how deep are the furrows? if they are deep and established then Botox won't make them disappear. she'll need fillers. Botox will soften them and stop her being able to frown for 3 months or so

TheWitTank · 15/01/2015 12:38

Hardly scaremongering- pointing out the potential problems that may occur during a medical or cosmetic procedure and what to look for in a quality practitioner is good advice. It's somebody putting a product into your face or body that may (notice I said may!) cause facial paralysis, lumps, scars or an allergic reaction. Having a friend who had a terrible reaction to a filler administered by a highly qualified practitioner which left her basically disfigured for months has made me understandably cautious! £100 is very cheap in my location-chain or no chain. You cannot get anything here for less than £250 for one area.