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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

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Original poster

Religion/brainwash and kids

91 replies

EstRusMum · 20/12/2014 11:34

So I just had a knock on the door and behind it there were a man and about 10 year old boy. Guess what? Boy starts talking to me about god. Jehova fucking witnesses!!! I cannot close the door in the boy's face and I feel sorry for him, as he is clearly nervous. Eventually I brought an excuse that I can't stand for too long, being 37 weeks pregnant, so they left. Before leaving man opened his mouth finally and said: read the website, blah-blah-blah(usual BS).
Is it the case to report to police/social services? What kind of parent would drag their child to knock on the door of the stranger?
AIBU to be angry about the matter?

OP posts:

meltedmonterayjack · 20/12/2014 11:38

YANBU. Its using kids for emotional blackmail. And bearing in mind how many people might be abusive, aggressive etc, it's subjecting kids to all sorts of nastiness. I don't know what's best to do about it though in terms of reporting it.

fakenamefornow · 20/12/2014 11:40

Ridiculous idea to call ss.

However in part I agree re brainwashing. I heard somebody once say describing a child as a JW or Muslim or whatever is like saying this child is a Lib Dem or a Tory or whatever. I think they've got a point.

WorraLiberty · 20/12/2014 11:47

I cannot close the door in the boy's face and I feel sorry for him, as he is clearly nervous.

As a home owner/tenant you should have learnt by now to smile and firmly say "No thank you", while closing the door. That is not rude.

Social services or the police? Don't be silly.

Yes, they're annoying but part of living independently is learning to deal with unwanted callers.

hackmum · 20/12/2014 12:05

All religious parents bring their children up in their religion. This is no more brainwashing than sending your child to church every Sunday or to a faith school.

I agree it's not great for the child. But then so many things about religion aren't great for children, such as subjecting them to stories about crucifixion.

People seem to pick on the Witnesses when they wouldn't pick on people from other religions, for some reason.

WorraLiberty · 20/12/2014 12:17

People seem to pick on the Witnesses when they wouldn't pick on people from other religions, for some reason.

That could be because they knock on people's doors to recruit/preach.

I'm sure if they didn't do this, most people wouldn't give them a second thought.

hackmum · 20/12/2014 12:20

I'm sure that's true, Worra. But the inconsistency is irritating. There are so many worse things religions can - and do - do than knock on people's doors.

Original poster

EstRusMum · 20/12/2014 12:28

Okay, now I have calmed down a bit and must admit police/ss suggestion was proper stupid. Anger does that to me. I become very irrational. Thank you for pointing it out.
About kids brought up in religion - I don't mind that. For me the problem is the fact that child is dragged around town to knock on the doors and "spread the word of god" on Saturday morning instead of playing football with his friends or going to see film in cinema.

OP posts:

WorraLiberty · 20/12/2014 12:28

Yes there are always worse things people can do but that doesn't make them any less annoying.

If I wanted to become a JW I would rock up to Kingdom Hall and knock on their door, and I'm sure many others would do the same.

I feel exactly the same about double glazing sellers and PPI solicitors.

WorraLiberty · 20/12/2014 12:31

OP I get what you mean but...

I'm guessing you're still angry if you're using emotive words like 'dragged around'.

If he's been brought up with this religion all his life, he could be more than happy...or even excited to do it for all we know.

I was raised as a Catholic (until I was 12yrs old and considered old enough to choose). I used to burst with pride at being chosen to do a reading in church when I was about 10yrs old.

I suppose an outsider could have said it was awful that I was 'dragged' to the altar and forced to do it, but that simply was never the case.

However, I do wish cold callers in general would bugger off to the far side of buggery.

effinandjeffin · 20/12/2014 12:43

OP yanbu. A very close member of my family was brought up as a JW and as a young child they had to go and knock on doors (or do 'the work' as they call it) for precisely the reason you state- you are less likely to tell a child who knocks at your door to piss off.

It's unlikely the police or ss would be interested, but you aren't BU for hoping they might be. JW do brainwash people, they also use lovebombing and pick on the weak and vulnerable. They are altogether despicable.

WellnowImFucked · 20/12/2014 13:01

Me I'm not religionist, I hate anyone who knocked on my door pushing their views on me, I live in a town that not only has a Kingdom Hall, but also a Mormon Temple, and a sadly large amount of BNP supporters.

And we look so niice from the outside. . .

They seem to rotate, JWs then Mormons then BNP.

I do feel very sorry for the kids, and the little old wo/men who always look so cold at this time of year.

Saying that, I still say thanks but no thanks and shut the door.

hackmum · 20/12/2014 13:06

BNP supporters knock on your door, Wellnow? Never heard of that before. Blimey.

fredfredgeorgejnr · 20/12/2014 13:11

YWBU to listen to the 10 year old when you wouldn't've any one else.

If you genuinely think it was unreasonable for the parent to "drag" the child around, then you should not have made it a more successful trip by having the kid there! You're facilitating and encouraging the exact behaviour you think is wrong.

DD is much younger than 10, but I thought from mumsnet that the whole problem with older children is how impossible it was to get them to do anything but play on computers all day...

WellnowImFucked · 20/12/2014 13:59

Hack mum, yes they do, and if you don't answer they stick their leaflets in.

They don't like us, I'm white but not British, so when they started their 'we're not racist we just think Britain should be for the British' crap I first point out I'm not British and then call my ex army dusky hued OH, who currently works with the police.

What with him being congenitally polite it really confounds them.

And then he starts spouting stats at them, while still being very very polite and horribly British (and can pull out his very RP accent and you can see them start to implode.)

It's great fun really, mean of us but fun.

JamaicanMeEatMincePies · 20/12/2014 14:05

We don't get Jehovah's at our door, they have a stall thing in town and they don't call out to folk, they wait for people to come to them. I happen to know a family of Jehovah's through work too and they have never tried to recruit anyone. Perhaps that is an unusual thing though, I don't know.

PhaedraIsMyName · 20/12/2014 14:18

I feel exactly the same about double glazing sellers and PPI solicitors.

I can't speak for the double glazing industry but if by this comment you're referring to cold calling by solicitors then solicitors in the UK are banned by The Law Societies of England and Wales and Scotland from doing so.

It's potentially a breach of the rules even to accept clients who are referred by an cold calling agency.

Bulbasaur · 20/12/2014 14:31

I cannot close the door in the boy's face and I feel sorry for him, as he is clearly nervous.

Which is exactly why they do it.

fatlazymummy · 20/12/2014 15:42

Just say no thank you and close the door. You're not being rude, you're saving their time. If you have no intention of taking their leaflet or being converted or whatever why string it out?
Yes it's sad to see a child being used in this way, I personally feel sad for any children that are 'made to participate' in their parents religious practices. I was one of them and it didn't make for a particularly enjoyable childhood. That's his parents choice though, and there's nothing you can do about it.

DancingDonkey · 20/12/2014 15:54

I understand that you do not want to be bothered in your own home and you were well within your rights to simply say 'no thank you' and close the door. I would have done the same.

I don't think the parents have done anything wrong however. They have every right to raise their child to follow their faith and for them one of the important expressions of that faith is attempting to convert others. I can't see how that does any harm to the child, it's just an experience.

Original poster

EstRusMum · 20/12/2014 15:54

fredfred are you now saying it's my fault that child is being used for that kind of activity? Because I really don't see how it can be my fault.
I listened to him for about 2 minutes during which he was talking non-stop. So as soon as I could, I said I cannot continue to stand anymore.

OP posts:

WorraLiberty · 20/12/2014 16:09

PhaedraIsMyName, the PPI cold callers are by telephone.

Actually, that might give JWs an idea!

HouseBaelish · 20/12/2014 16:20

There are so many worse things religions can - and do - do than knock on people's doors

Sure. Of course. But in a neighbourhood where we have a "no cold calling initiative", the only people who regularly ignore are JW. So yeah, they get a special place in my hierarchy of annoyance for having the temerity to disturb my peace to try and pass on their tripe

PhaedraIsMyName · 20/12/2014 16:23

Worra the poster referred to "PPI" solicitors". If she is getting cold calls about PPI the callers are not solicitors.

hackmum · 20/12/2014 16:25

Wellnow: "It's great fun really, mean of us but fun."

You're allowed to be mean to fascists!

PhaedraIsMyName · 20/12/2014 16:25

Whether in person or by phone solicitors do not cold call. Telephone callers might stick the word "legal" or similar in their name - that means nothing.

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