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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

To insist dog stays in kitchen?

71 replies

TaytoCrisp · 16/12/2014 00:57

I have never had animals, am not used to them, and not keen on them in the house. FIL has a large, but apparently well behaved dog. DH assumes the dog will accompany FIL to Xmas dinner in our new house as he lives over an hours drive away and would not leave said dog home alone. I suggested that the dog beds down in our utility room just off the kitchen as I am not keen on having him staring up at me as I'm cooking, but DH thinks he should be allowed roam freely around the house. As a compromise I feel he should stick to the kitchen. We have a 12 week old baby and I would need to keep a close eye on the dog all day. I don't really want the doggy smell everywhere either.i really don't like confrontation/hassle but I'm not that happy about it and feel a bit like I have no option but to let the dog come and make itself at home! aIBU to insist that he stays in the
Kitchen?

OP posts:
brokenhearted55a · 16/12/2014 01:03

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quietlysuggests · 16/12/2014 01:15

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HerrenaHarridan · 16/12/2014 01:27

The garden?!? In December? Are you serious probably a cat person

If fil is driving asking him to keep the dog in the car is reasonable ish.

Your 12wo is hardly likely to be terrorising the dog so can't really see an issue here tbh.

I'm not sure you've really thought this through, do you think you can just shut the dog in your utility cupboard room and he will switch off until it's convenient for him to exist again or do you think after an hour or two he will whine and make a fuss

Topseyt · 16/12/2014 01:34

As the dog's owner it really is your FIL who should be keeping a beady eye on his pet. If he can't / doesn't do that then you would end up not being able to relax. I say that as the owner of two dogs.

You are perfectly correct to have reservations due to a small baby.

Can your FIL be relied upon to keep his dog with him at all times?? I would suggest that rather than having it in the kitchen where Christmas Dinner will be being prepared because the presence of so much food could prove disastrous if nobody was watching. There is such a thing as too much temptation for even the best trained dogs sometimes.

AlpacaMyBags · 16/12/2014 01:38

This reply has been deleted

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

Topseyt · 16/12/2014 01:47

Also, if the dog is used to being with FIL virtually 100% of the time then you cannot reasonably expect to just shut it away in the utility in a house it has never visited before. It would very likely be unsettled and whine (which should be understandable).

The dog should stay by his owner's side. Outdoors can be rather too cold for any length of time in December, and could still unsettle the dog, which might annoy neighbours then.

Original poster
TaytoCrisp · 16/12/2014 01:49

You are right herrena I haven't though it through (avoidance!) and he is probably a bit too big a lad to want to stay put in the utility..

Good point fromtopsey re food smells and temptation.. Maybe the kitchen is not the best place.

I have a growing feeling of dread that he may end up with his paws up enjoying our small but comfortable living room! We have two new sofas in there, new carpet etc (brand new house), I would really hope he wouldn't make the place very doggie smelling... Or maybe well behaved placid dogs will just lie there and smell neutral?

His owner can be trusted to keep an eye on him.

OP posts:
CheeseBuster · 16/12/2014 01:52

I think if he turns up and seems a sensible old boy then let him roam the house if he's being a nutter then confine him. Tell DH dog and clean up is his responsibility.

Littlemeg37 · 16/12/2014 01:56

It really depends on what the dog is like, if its a quiet dog and would just lie at your FIL feet most of the time (mine would do that) and is obedient I cant see why there would be a problem. If I left mine in someones utility out of sight she would be rather upset and even more upset if I left her outside. If its an excitable dog which jumps around a lot it should be left at home.

MistressDeeCee · 16/12/2014 02:03

In your shoes I wouldn't even want to be the one to think it through.

Your DH doesn't have to make your exact feelings known to your FIL but he can make clear to him that he's expected to have the dog at his side. If dog has to go in utillity room then so be it, FIL will have to pop in there from time to time won't he? Im also assuming there's no reason he can't take said dog for a walk during the time he is with you? So its not stuck in 1 room all day not seeing anybody.

ChippingInLovesChristmasLights · 16/12/2014 02:16

For goodness sake, it's a dog, for the day, not a lion for life!

It won't make the house smell doggy, nor will it ruin your new carpet and couches.

Dog. One day. Don't be a Drama Queen.

Very envious of squishy 12 week old baby snuggles Envy

AdoraBell · 16/12/2014 02:44

Depends entirely on the dog. 3 of mine would stay put where I tell them to but the other, not so much as yet.

You really need to talk to your DH rather than let him carry on assuming that the dog has freedom to roam and you are happy with that.

Another Envy at baby cuddles.

Topseyt · 16/12/2014 17:38

You say his owner can be trusted to keep an eye on him. That should mean there will be no problem

My guess is that you are way over-thinking this because you are unused to dogs. Most are very sociable animals, and enjoy being with people. Many of them do not like being shut away unnecessarily.

I would suggest that you let FIL have his dog with him and see how things go. You can say things like you would prefer the dog to remain downstairs (baby gates are also ideal for this, so if you have one then put it up and keep it closed). You can also mention that the dog and the baby must not be left alone together (responsible dog owners will understand this anyway). Any rooms you would prefer the dog not to go into either at all or unaccompanied, just keep the door shut.

You can also suggest that your FIL brings along some bedding for the dog, so that it has somewhere to lie down whilst you are eating dinner. Some dogs will leave you in peace for a fair while if they have something to chew on (with mine it is either a large frozen beef bone from the butcher or a dried pig's ear which you can buy in a packet. Ask him to bring something like that if his dog likes them. Don't just go and buy them, as some dogs with medical issues have to avoid certain things just as humans do. That way you are all happy, and the dog is happy too.

Failing that, if the dog will stay beside your FIL or lie quietly at his feet during dinner then that is likely to be no problem either.

Perhaps your husband and his father could take the dog for a walk locally while you are preparing the dinner. That way it may well be tired and willing to sleep.

Good luck. I am sure it will be fine.

pictish · 16/12/2014 17:43

Poor dog. I'd just let it roam under the agreement that fil keeps his beady on it when it's around the baby.
Confining it to the utility would be shitty of you. It's a dog not a gorilla.

ChocolateBiscuitCake · 16/12/2014 18:28

I live in a townhouse and my dog is only allowed in the kitchen (ground floor). The sitting room is upstairs and the dog is not allowed to come upstairs. So confining his dog to where you feel comfortable is fine imo.

Don't overthink it and you can always get him to put the dog on a lead, like you would in a restaurant/pub.

The dog shouldn't make your house smell in one day!

SelfconfessedSpoonyFucker · 16/12/2014 18:34

We have dogs and if you put them in another room after a while they will bark and whine and cause a fuss. If his dog is used to being with his owner most of the time you might find it becomes a big issue. I would suggest that you insist that the dog stays on a lead and with his owner at all times.

PortofinoVino · 16/12/2014 18:37

I don't really want the doggy smell everywhere either.

Stop being precious. That won't happen in just a few hours FFS.

WeirdCatLady · 16/12/2014 18:38

I really wouldn't want a dog in the kitchen while I'm cooking. Weirddog likes to investigate the area by the cooker in case I've dropped anything. While I'm standing by the cooker. And then he likes to follow me around in case in drop anything. Even if I'm just moving 6 inches to the left to use the sink. if I open the fridge he likes to helpfully stick his head inside in case I drop anything.

If he is only coming for a few hours then the dog will be fine to be left at home. I wouldn't dream of taking weirddog to anyone else's house.

WeirdCatLady · 16/12/2014 18:39

And weirddog could make your house smell in just a few hours. We don't notice it (until he breaks wind) but most dogs really reek to non dog owners.

DanyStormborn · 16/12/2014 18:43

We will have a new baby in the house next year and a boisterous visiting dog with the in-laws every now and then. Dog stays downstairs and won't be left in a room alone with the baby (and will be closely supervised when in a room with baby and other people). Well kept dogs don't smell usually and won't leave a smell after a short visit. Make sure the dogs paws get wiped off after it's been outside (MIL is forever letting her dog run muddy paw prints round our house, I try to intercept and use a bit of kitchen roll to wipe said paws rather than have to clean the whole floor).

JoanHickson · 16/12/2014 18:46

In your circumstances I wouldn't want dog germs on my new carpet a baby will soon crawl all over.

I watched obsessive compulsive cleaners recently and I got a shock. The germ level on dogs and surfaces they touched, who are washed by ocd owners was so high.

LetticeKnollys · 16/12/2014 18:48

Your 12wo is hardly likely to be terrorising the dog so can't really see an issue here tbh. Err... I think the OP was more concerned about the dog hurting the baby than the baby hurting the dog!

My DS will also be 12 weeks at Christmas! Xmas Smile We'll have a similar problem, my parents' dog is small but they let it rule the roost and it's often not very clean with muddy paws! We have to be quite strict with them or they'd let it jump all over the furniture. I agree with PP that it should be FIL's responsibility to look after it, but you should find out more about the temperament of the dog before deciding what to do.

Downtheroadfirstonleft · 16/12/2014 19:04

I have dogs, but hate the entitlement of people assuming they can take their animals to other people's houses without properly checking first.

Decide what you are happy with and stand your ground.

I certainly wouldn't want a dog I didnt know around my young baby, when I'm busy cooking, or indeed in the kitchen. The utility room sounds ideal.

Could your fil leave it at home and employ a dog walker to exercise it/ keep it company?

LST · 16/12/2014 19:08

YNBU Op. But my dog 'roams free' and we have had a new baby and a toddler.

kilmuir · 16/12/2014 19:09

ChocolateBiscuitCake what a miserable life your dog must have