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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

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Original poster

To insist dog stays in kitchen?

71 replies

TaytoCrisp · 16/12/2014 00:57

I have never had animals, am not used to them, and not keen on them in the house. FIL has a large, but apparently well behaved dog. DH assumes the dog will accompany FIL to Xmas dinner in our new house as he lives over an hours drive away and would not leave said dog home alone. I suggested that the dog beds down in our utility room just off the kitchen as I am not keen on having him staring up at me as I'm cooking, but DH thinks he should be allowed roam freely around the house. As a compromise I feel he should stick to the kitchen. We have a 12 week old baby and I would need to keep a close eye on the dog all day. I don't really want the doggy smell everywhere either.i really don't like confrontation/hassle but I'm not that happy about it and feel a bit like I have no option but to let the dog come and make itself at home! aIBU to insist that he stays in the
Kitchen?

OP posts:

hippoinamudhole · 16/12/2014 21:06

Can we just turn this around because presumably your dh lives in the house with you?

OK op goes like this:

My mum is coming for Christmas lunch and possibly over night (yes op has said this) she wants to bring her beautiful dog with her. I have grown up with dogs and don't see the problem. Dh doesn't want the dog here and says if it comes it needs to be shut in the utility room while it's here.

Just putting the other side of the story

SeanPencil · 16/12/2014 21:13

Yep hippo, still sounds reasonable to me.

sooperdooper · 16/12/2014 21:15

Oh can I add, a dog roaming around the house isn't the same as a dog being left unattended with a 12 week old baby at all, any dog and baby/small child need to be supervised at all times, that's basic common sense :)

Pigriver · 16/12/2014 21:18

Ha ha the other dog thread was mine!
Luckily everyone thought I was being perfectly reasonable to say no dog in my home full stop.
I think you are being perfectly reasonable saying dog stays in utility with dog bed from home. FiL and other family as required takes dog into garden to play/after lunch stroll. Everyone happy?!

ouryve · 16/12/2014 21:21

Your FIL needs to be supervising his dog.
The advice about using safety gates is good - my parents used to do that, in their own house, when they had large, elderly incontinent Irish setters.
And suggest that your FIL brings his dog's bed, so the dog isn't lying directly on your carpet. If that's not workable, put an old blanket down that can be chucked in the washer. If it climbs on your furniture, tell it to get down!

blueberriemuffins84 · 16/12/2014 21:23

Agree with Downtheroadfirstonleft it's your house do what you feel comfortable with.

If you think the utility room is a fair compromise go with it!

sonjadog · 16/12/2014 21:24

Why don't you ask FiL what his plan is for the dog? Maybe he has already sorted something out.

If it were me, I'd leave my dog at home or leave him in the car. He'd never be in your house and all this worrying would be for nothing.

AlexD72 · 16/12/2014 22:07

I would not have a dog in my house with a 12 week old. And no I'm not a cat person. I was brought up with dogs for over 20 years. Nice placid greyhounds that could still turn nasty if threatened or put into an unfamiliar situation. My DF had dogs from when he was born and he knew a lot about dogs. He would never have had any dog kept in one room. Let alone with a tiny baby in the house. A baby the dog does not "know".

TracyBarlow · 16/12/2014 22:15

If you have a dog, you probably can't smell it. Dogs smell. They just do. Some people don't find the smell of dog offensive, I get that. Do, s. reserve the right not to have dogs in my house. Especially a new house with new carpets and a newborn. I think utility room is fine (and actually quite generous).

What does FIL normally do with the dog when he goes out?

sooperdooper · 16/12/2014 22:24

What is it with thinking leaving a dog in the car is better than leaving it at home? Surely it'd be better to just leave it in your own home than cramped in the boot of a cold car?

Mrsjayy · 16/12/2014 22:27

I think it is really rude of your fil to expect his dog to be welcome in your house regardless of doggy smells or whatever I have a dog he isn't going to my mums for Christmas dinner it be ridiculous to take him, anyway you should ask your husband to ask his dad what he plans to do with the dog . He might be a placid dog and just lie and sleep in the hall or he might jump about your livingroom and get under everybodies feet, dogs like their own houses he might be unsettled in yours

lemisscared · 16/12/2014 22:31

Dog would probably prefer to stay at home. It will be stressed locked in your kitchen or utility room and likely piddle or scratch at door/bark. I wouldn't dream of taking my dogs to someone elses House.

Original poster

TaytoCrisp · 17/12/2014 00:03

DH makes the arrangements with FIL and communication is poor. He gets hassled if I ask him to confirm whether FIL and dog are planning on staying for the night. He would just let them to what pleased them on the day but I want to know the plan in advance. I have never rang FIL myself and we only see him every few months so I would not ask him directly. Thing is the DH is very relaxed about this sort of thing and thinks I'm too uptight.. Which I don't think is fair.. Anyway..

So no consensus on doggy smell. I trained as an aromatherapist so have a good nose for whiffs.. So perhaps we will notice his signature scent even if he scrubs up for the day..

pig - read your thread with interest, and didn't want to hijack. Your dog seemed to be a bit more of a cowboy than this placid lad. But im still not keen on having him.

Anyway, compromise with DH is that he stays downstairs. The small new lady will be monitored anyway. I don't have a stair gate but will push the pram in front. Hopefully he won't be up for b&b and will head home (doubtful though as I assume FIL will enjoy a few Xmas drinks).

OP posts:

Littlemeg37 · 17/12/2014 08:54

Not all dogs smell, what is it with people saying all dogs smell. My dog doesn't smell, she doesn't fart where you can smell it either and its not that i just cant smell it Ive asked people who come here who don't have dogs if they can smell 'dog' and they cant. It would depend whose house I was going to whether I would take her with me though, biggest issue would be that she would cast all over their house, shes quite happy to be left at home for a few hours if I go out.

Littlemeg37 · 17/12/2014 08:59

I just googled do all dogs smell, apparently a lot depends on the breed also as to how stinky they are. My dog is mostly a collie, a clean breed pleasantly noted for not having a doggy odor So it depends on the breed as to how much they smell.

Mrsjayy · 17/12/2014 09:01

Dogs have an odour about them all dogs we just get used to our own dog smelll and when mine gets stressed he stinks. Op I hope you get it sorted tbh if your fil is staying the night it would be better all round if the dog slept wherever fil is sleeping will be less stress all round and he is responsible for him

JoanHickson · 17/12/2014 09:05

I think people also have different strength of smell sense too. For those with a sensitive nose the dog smell is on the side of foul and strong you can smell it off some owners when they are not with the dog. I noticed dog owners who don't stink of dog are generally very clean people on the OCD side if not they stink.

JoanHickson · 17/12/2014 09:08

It's the same with smokers they and their family have no idea they stink. The only smokers who don't stink are those who don't smoke in the home and are very clean.

Fudgeface123 · 17/12/2014 09:20

chocolatebiscuitcake why do you even have a dog?

I live in a townhouse and my dog is only allowed in the kitchen (ground floor). The sitting room is upstairs and the dog is not allowed to come upstairs

sonjadog · 17/12/2014 17:42

My dog is happier in the car than being left at home, sooper, because then he feels like he is part of what is going on. He wants to be part of the family activities, not left behind. It also means that he is available for me to walk at regular intervals. If left at home, he would have to sit and wait for a long time.

When dogs' owners are out they largely lie and sleep. Yes, they have more room at home, but they aren't actually using it. So unless you have a massive dog or a very small car, then I don't see the size of the space as an issue.

Obviously, if it is really cold and/or the dog has thin fur, then in cold weather the dog can't stay in the car.

SelfconfessedSpoonyFucker · 17/12/2014 17:43

I know our dogs smell, one of ours is a black lab. I doubt they would make someone else's house smell in that short of a time though even though the owner might smell the dog while she was there and they might need to vacuum afterwards because she is a shedder.

I don't generally take my dogs to other people's houses though unless they are specifically invited, I need to be back within about four hours though to let them out and spend some time with them.

My dogs would not tolerate being left in a unfamiliar utility room downstairs or a car for hours. It would be unpleasant for everyone involved.

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