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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

To insist dog stays in kitchen?

71 replies

TaytoCrisp · 16/12/2014 00:57

I have never had animals, am not used to them, and not keen on them in the house. FIL has a large, but apparently well behaved dog. DH assumes the dog will accompany FIL to Xmas dinner in our new house as he lives over an hours drive away and would not leave said dog home alone. I suggested that the dog beds down in our utility room just off the kitchen as I am not keen on having him staring up at me as I'm cooking, but DH thinks he should be allowed roam freely around the house. As a compromise I feel he should stick to the kitchen. We have a 12 week old baby and I would need to keep a close eye on the dog all day. I don't really want the doggy smell everywhere either.i really don't like confrontation/hassle but I'm not that happy about it and feel a bit like I have no option but to let the dog come and make itself at home! aIBU to insist that he stays in the
Kitchen?

OP posts:
LapsedTwentysomething · 16/12/2014 19:15

I wouldn't accommodate the dog at all, because it would have to be in the utility and therefore miserable and whiny.

A family member has a small, apparently 'harmless' dog who tried to snap at the face of a two year old. They won't listen to reason and shit the dog away when small children are around so I'm unable to spend time there any more. Black and white to me. A 15 year old girl I teach is undergoing laser surgery on some facial scarring caused by the family Labrador when she was 4.

Don't chance it. You will have to be vigilant the whole time.

LST · 16/12/2014 19:20

chocolatebiscuit I hope you spend an awful lot of time in the kitchen... poor dog Sad

LST · 16/12/2014 19:21

And haha at 'dog germs' Grin

Nomama · 16/12/2014 19:22

Crikey! Why is OP unreasonable not to want her house to host a dog?

Where dogs elevated to superior beings who must be accommodated? I must have missed that email.

OP, talk to your DH again. Outline your 2 objections: new house, new furniture and small child. Get him to ask his dad to leave the dog at home or agree to the utility room. All that 'poor dog must stay by his master's side' is emotional blackmail and utter twaddle and dog owners should know better!

Andrewofgg · 16/12/2014 19:23

Utility room or leave it at home and take no shit about it.

Now give 12w a cuddle from soppy old cyber-uncle Andrew.

Andrewofgg · 16/12/2014 19:25

LapsedTwentySomething

They won't listen to reason and shit the dog away

Was that a typo or a very, very good idea?

Grin
Cakecrumbsinmybra · 16/12/2014 19:28

YANBU. If you don't want the dog in the rest of the house then you really shouldn't feel bad about it. I had family to stay at the weekend and DB had to bring his little dog as dog sitter not available. She's actually lovely but DC have allergies/asthma and I had to ask that she stay in the one room. TBh, even if they didn't have allergies, I wouldn't want a dog roaming the house. Some people love dogs, others don't - you are not weird or rude.

Cakecrumbsinmybra · 16/12/2014 19:29

poor dog for having to stay in the kitchen for an afternoon? Jesus!

cavkc · 16/12/2014 19:40

Chocolate biscuit that sounds really harsh, I wouldn't have a dog if I felt that way. No to upstairs bedrooms is reasonable enough for any dog owner but to keep a dog confined to one room is not on IMO

That said, of course one afternoon is fine, although he might bother you barking etc

As a compromise could your FIL keep the dog by him on a lead which can be put under a chair leg or something heavy enough so he can't take off. A decent walk as soon as they arrive should help.

You would be quite reasonable to insist that the dog stays off the furniture.

As for those who say a dog is disgusting, yes they are, but we love them anyway!

LST · 16/12/2014 19:52

Cakecrumbs if you read who I aimed it at first.... yes poor dog. I said the op was not being unreasonable.

Original poster
TaytoCrisp · 16/12/2014 19:56

Thanks for all the responses. We only have a kitchen and living room downstairs (and utility). So I suppose I will let him roam around there for the day, as he is well behaved, and the consensus is that he won't have a noticeable doggy whiff. Upstairs will be off limits. I will ask that he keeps his paws to himself, and that FIL keeps a close eye on him, esp. around the baby. If they stay overnight, surely it's ok for him to sleep in the utility room or maybe the kitchen. I don't fancy him nestling down by the new sofas. I'm just not that keen on dogs, but think this lad is like a next of kin to FIL.

Baby cuddles passed on to my snugly babySmile, thank you!

OP posts:
PiperIsTerrysChoclateOrange · 16/12/2014 20:01

Dogs are not welcomed in my house at all.

I really don't care how that makes me look, but I can smell the dog smell and the fur gets every where.

Even the most placid dogs can turn and I would never trust a child and a dog together, regardless of the breed.

LittleDonkeyLeftie · 16/12/2014 20:06

YANBU

I am a dog person and I would not dream of taking my dog to someones house over Christmas when I knew they weren't really dog friendly.

I also wouldn't allow my baby anywhere near a dog I didn't know well. The number of times I have seen someones dog snap at or bite a child and heard the owner say "Oh they've never done that before..."

As PP have said, locking a large dog in a utility room for hours won't work either. I would suggest FIL either leaves dog at home for a few hours or doesn't come at all. He is only an hour away!!!! His choice.

hackmum · 16/12/2014 20:10

What kind of dog is it?

I am a dog person so would let it roam free unless it was vicious. But if it was vicious I wouldn't have it in the house.

wonderingstar01 · 16/12/2014 20:21

YANBU. If you're not used to animals, why should you be expected to have one in the house. We have a small well behaved dog but I won't allow other people's dogs to roam freely round my house. My step-daughter has a big, black, long-haired, excitable dog who goes mental anywhere she goes. She either leaves it at home or in her car. It's about respect for someone else's home.

MsMarvel · 16/12/2014 20:26

My mum does not like dogs. When she has had visitors they have respected this and if staying for a while (eg a whole evening, not overnight) the dog will stay in the car. My mum also does not like smoking in the house to whenever people go outside to smoke they let the dog out for a while.

None of this is explicityly enforced by my mum, the visitors just respect her wishes.

MsMarvel · 16/12/2014 20:26

Sorry, meant to say, would something like this work for you?

mineofuselessinformation · 16/12/2014 20:31

Why don't you just ring FIL and ask him what he's planning to do with the dog?

ReginaBlitz · 16/12/2014 20:32

wow shocked by the post of the person who owns a dog and it lives in the kitchen wtf, this is animal cruelty dogs should be part of the family. you shouldnt have a pet poor thing,

redcaryellowcar · 16/12/2014 20:36

Yanbu, I love dogs, but do think it's their owners responsibility and owners should not assume it's ok to bring along a dog as there are many and varied reasons they are not welcome in everyone's homes. Utility sounds like you are being generous, think for those saying you can't just shut dog away that it must be up to fil to decide if dig can be or if he should refuse the invitation?

YellowTulips · 16/12/2014 20:37

As I posted on another recent thread I don't like dogs (in general and the fact they exacerbate a medical condition). I won't have them in my home and and pretty militant about it.

I tend to find people's perception of a "well behaved and/non smelly" dog is highly variable.

The idea of it being where I am preparing food is pretty abhorrent to me tbh.

Yes I'm reasonably inflexible in this regard but my house, my rules - you don't like you don't come.

CheeseBuster · 16/12/2014 20:37

Could you ask Fil to bath dog the day before? I would do this automatically if taking mine to someone else's house and it can't hurt to ask?

QueenInTheNorth · 16/12/2014 20:39

If you're really worried about the smell, you could buy one of these www.petsathome.com/shop/en/pets/dog/dog-grooming/dog-sprays-and-hygiene-products/daily-spritz-sweet-pea-and-vanilla they are quite pricey, but stick a bow on it and call it his Christmas present haha! I have two dogs, neither smell strongly but we have other dogs stay (we train guide dogs) and some of them stink! I think its the food they eat since they actually eat crappy (But expensive) food, and I always have to spray em' with this.

If you're worried about him while you're eating you could also get him a rawhide bone or something (No cooked bones for dogs!) to go in the kitchen with him while you eat, he'll be occupied that way and out of the way, and obviously, dogs and babies shouldn't be left alone together.

hollyisalovelyname · 16/12/2014 20:40

I love dogs but I would be wary of somebody elses dog in my home.
Will he mark his territory ?
With a wee baby I would be worried.
Is your fil nonchalant about the dog and his behaviour- many dog owners are, sadly.
By the way I love Tayto ??
The BEST CRISPS IN THE WORLD.

sooperdooper · 16/12/2014 20:44

Depending on the dog and how big your utility room is I'd probably suggest FIL brings the dogs bed and puts the dog in there - I'm shocked at how many people seem to think leaving a dog in a car is a suitable alternative Hmm how is that any better than leaving the dog at home alone?

chocolate biscuit I can't understand why you have a dog at all, not being allowed upstairs is completely standard but keeping a dog permanently in one room is cruel, why have a dog if you don't want it around you

A dog being in your house for a few hours won't leave a 'doggy smell' in fact no dog should leave a 'doggy smell' because dogs should be bathed if they get dirty - my dog doesn't smell!

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