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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

AIBU to be so angry at neighbour

80 replies

Minnie911 · 12/12/2014 22:03

When we first moved in to our flat in summer DP was speaking to neighbour and she asked DP if our flat was a council tenancy - ours is private, neighbours in council - exact same flats.
Anyway since we have lived here said neighbour is only ever at her flat 3 hours ish total per week and maybe 2 nights every fortnight - so obviously spends most of her time at her partners...I do not know this but have seen her in town walking a dog which definatley doesn't live at her flat and I know she works at a local company 9-5 type hours workplace.
Anyway she is a single woman paying half the rent for the same flat and 4 of us are piled in the same flat with no money for extras - and I repetitevly have delivery men at the door with parcels from clothes shops for her.
Aibu to be soo angry? Can I report her or is she doing nothing wrong? There are no council properties in our area and she's not even living there!!

OP posts:
AliceLidlDonkey · 12/12/2014 22:07

Possibly you could refuse to take the parcels if that would make you feel better, but I don't think you could report her for not spending enough time at home.

WorraLiberty · 12/12/2014 22:08

How would reporting her improve your situation?

Report her if it makes you feel better.

They'll just come round, check she has a bed and the place looks live in so it's probably a waste of your time.

LindyHemming · 12/12/2014 22:09

This reply has been deleted

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

Itsgoingtoreindeer · 12/12/2014 22:09

This reply has been deleted

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

MagratsLongWhiteBeard · 12/12/2014 22:12

Your journey is different to hers OP, on the surface it may be unfair to you that she seems to have the flat at a lower cost but you don't know what she doesn't have. Perhaps she's looking over the fence bitterly thinking that its unfair that you have 2 DCs or a husband or rent privately etc

Stop being angry & jealous as it won't do you any good & focus on what you do have.

usualsuspectsparkly3 · 12/12/2014 22:13

Report her for what?

VanitasVanitatum · 12/12/2014 22:13

I think it would only be wrong if she wasn't living there at all and was subletting. Maybe it's a new relationship and she's not ready to move in/give up her own place.

Just because she's a council tenant doesn't actually make a difference to her lifestyle choices.

WorraLiberty · 12/12/2014 22:13

And by your reckoning OP, what do you think should happen to council tenants who end up travelling a lot, in their jobs?

scarletforya · 12/12/2014 22:13

I don't understand. You say your flat is private and hers is council but you're annoyed you're paying more? Confused

Then you say she's single but mention a dip?

Idefix · 12/12/2014 22:14

I think op you need to let it go and stop taking in the parcels. I don't think any rules are being broken. Doesn't make your own situation any easier but sadly life is not fair :(

scarletforya · 12/12/2014 22:14

DP not dip

pictish · 12/12/2014 22:14

Oh mind your own business.

APlaceInTheWinter · 12/12/2014 22:18

YABU. Her situation has no impact on your's. I really don't understand why you're so bitter that she's buying clothes. You're not paying for them. Hmm

As for reporting her, there is nothing to report. She doesn't stay in her house every night but she doesn't have to stay there all the time. It's her house. She can stay with friends or family whenever she likes. It's obviously still her primary residence and that's all that matters to the Council.

Do yourself and her a favour and stop obsessing over her life. If refusing to take parcels would make it easier for you then stop taking the parcels.

brimfullofasha · 12/12/2014 22:18

I think if she receives housing benefit technically she should be spending most nights at her own property. However, in my opinion, reporting her would be a pretty low thing to do.

Cornettoninja · 12/12/2014 22:18

Fuck me I'd be chuffed to have a next door neighbour not there 70% of the time not making noises and peeing me off. Consider the private rent a payment for that alone. If she gets moved on you've no idea who might move in.

You are being UR though. You really don't know the ins and outs of her life and the 'evidence' you have is circumstantial and proves nothing. She could be there when you have no idea.
Walking someone's dog isn't a crime and neither is stopping at someone else's house.

You're onto a loser there tbh and need to adjust your views on the situation and stop worrying about something that affects you in zero ways.

CocobearSqueeze · 12/12/2014 22:20

This reply has been withdrawn

This has been withdrawn by MNHQ at the poster's request.

Original poster
Minnie911 · 12/12/2014 22:20

It annoys me because we couldn't get anywhere to live for 3 years and she has a flat which she is not even living in when there are people in the homeless shelter who would appreciate their own place.
The fact that it is a council house means it should be given to someone who would live in it.

OP posts:
UncleT · 12/12/2014 22:21

You should probably mind your own business really.

WorraLiberty · 12/12/2014 22:22

She is living in it...just not as often as you seem to see fit.

You're not the council so butt out.

Cornettoninja · 12/12/2014 22:24

Actually the fact she's walking a dog opens itself to loads of possibilities - pet sitter, carer, helping out a friend or family who are ill/elderly/incapacitated....

There's a lot of things that could be filling her time meaning you don't see her around much. Your making up a backstory for her as much as I am!

How do you know when she's home or not?

Just stop taking in parcels. That's punishment enough for fictional crimes. Reporting her with the intention of my her homeless is taking it too far.

TinklyLittleLaugh · 12/12/2014 22:25

OP if your council have enough housing surplus to be giving two bedroom flats to single people, then I suggest you get your name down fast.

MaryWestmacott · 12/12/2014 22:25

Stop taking in parcels, she's get bored of having to go pick them up and will get them delivered to work.

As for her not being there all the time, she doesn't need to be. It's not her fault you are crowded in your flat, her not being there wouldn't give you extra space.

YABU to be upset by someone else having a slightly better life than you, you have made your life choices, she's made hers. She might well be jealous of you - settled with your DP/H, 2 DCs, she's still at the dating stage, living a single life, no DCs, you assume she's staying with a partner, but isn't at the moving in together stage.

JunkBox · 12/12/2014 22:26

You must be glued to the entrance of the flat/front windows 24/7 to know that she spends 3 hours per week at her flat.
How do you know that she's not coming or going when you are out, in the shower or sleeping etc?
Perhaps she's helping look after her elderly parents and walking the dog in between working, you have no idea what she is or isn't doing

Stop taking the parcels in if it bothers you that much, but i'm not sure the council will evict someone for spending too much time out of the house.

Cornettoninja · 12/12/2014 22:26

*making her

(And give over with making her the figurehead of why no one gets a council house - you do not know this as a fact)

WorraLiberty · 12/12/2014 22:27

It could be her Mum's dog for all anyone knows.

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