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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

To grit my teeth at the phrase, "gender scan"?

158 replies

magneticfield55 · 21/11/2014 13:37

For a start, unless you're paying for one which is specifically for that purpose, it's not. It's a medical scan to check organs etc.

But it's also not a, "gender" scan. All it will tell you is whether your baby has a penis or a vagina. That's it. It'll tell you that they're biologically male or female (intersexuality, androgen insensitivity syndrome etc aside). The inaccuracy of it irritates me. That penis or vagina will probably determine their position in the gender hierarchy, but it's still all we know about them at that point.

I'm a feminist and believe gender is socially constructed, with girls and women at the bottom. So I get really irritated by, "team pink!", "gender reveals". I know it can help us to bond with our bumps, but they're not even born yet and we're already basing our preconceived ideas of who they might be around their gender.

I don't begrudge anyone this, it just annoys me. AIBU?

OP posts:
Mammanat222 · 21/11/2014 13:43

The proper name is the anomaly scan, it's also known as the 20 week scan.

A gender scan - IMO of course - is the private one you pay for a 16w or thereabouts - the purpose of which is purely to find out gender.

It doesn't annoy me on a feminist level at all, it annoys me as the purpose of the anomaly scan is NOT to determine gender.

bonzo77 · 21/11/2014 13:43

YANBU. it's an anomaly scan. At which some hospitals will describe the external genitalia. Gender is a state of mind. And can change. And can only really be ascertained by conversing with the person you are interested in.

Mammanat222 · 21/11/2014 13:45
  • I say this as someone who didn't find out gender with first child, did with this child BUT was also told my baby did have a slight anomaly [with her bowel] cue lots of blood tests to rule out certain things and monthly growth scans.

I didn't give a flying fuck about the gender after they told me there could be something wrong with my baby.

APocketfulOfSpondulix · 21/11/2014 13:45

I'm with you on the gender social conditioning bit but I think you're overthinking it. To most people who are having a healthy pregnancy the 20wk scan is just a matter of routine, and that's the bit they take away with them.

I don't think it matters whether you find out during the pregnancy or at the moment of birth, surely your preconceived ideas of what girls/boys are like or should be will be the same.

MiddletonPink · 21/11/2014 13:46

People pay for gender scans so they are quite accurate I suppose.
I've never heard anyone call their anomaly scan a gender scan. 20 week scan is what's its frequently called.

Theorientcalf · 21/11/2014 13:50

YANBU in that it's an anomaly scan, not a gender scan. I think some people forget this.

FWIW I didn't find out either time.

Gileswithachainsaw · 21/11/2014 13:50

Yanbu. It's not to tell gender it's to find out and potentially prepare for anything that's wrong.

I think. People seem to have lost track of this

Altinkum · 21/11/2014 13:50

This reply has been deleted

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

youmakemydreams · 21/11/2014 13:52

I think people are misunderstanding the op. It is not so much calling the anomaly scan a gender scan it is the use of the word gender at all.
Setting aside the anomaly aspect. You are not finding out the gender you are finding out the sex of your baby.
The sex is fixed (mostly) as male or female. Gender is not a fixed thing. Gender is a socially constructed role. So rather than man or woman it becomes masculine and feminine.

Altinkum · 21/11/2014 13:52

This reply has been deleted

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

DillydollyRIP · 21/11/2014 13:53

YANBU.
Some if my friends always refer to the 20week scan as the one where they find out if they're 'team pink or blue'! Confused

While it's nice to see your baby on the screen, the 20wk scan is very important and done to check for potential problems. I had to be referred with dc3 after my 20wk scan picked up a possible heart defect with the baby.

My friend had to end a pregnancy after her scan picked up lots of problems with the baby that were incompatible with life :(
Only that morning she was excited and looking forward to seeing what she was having.

I know most people have positive outcomes at their scans but it's a very important scan to check for problems and if you're lucky they might be able to see between the baby's legs.

MiddletonPink · 21/11/2014 13:55

But who are these people that say gender scan?

In all my years of being pregnant I've never heard it. Apart from in the appropriate use ie the person was having a gender scan.

Expedititition · 21/11/2014 13:55

Wow. I think you need to chill out to be honest.

Plus I've never heard it called a gender scan. Ever. Just a 20 week scan.

Also. Nobody had ever asked me the 'gender'. They have said is it a boy or a girl? You know, because that's a perfectly normal question.

Selinasupreme · 21/11/2014 13:55

Wtf did I just read? Get a life!

cherrybombxo · 21/11/2014 13:56

I'm a feminist too but I do think you're really overthinking it.

YANBU to be annoyed about it being called a "gender scan" when it's not actually a scan to confirm the gender.

YAB a bit U to be so annoyed about possible connotations of the word "gender". Yes, it's technically the baby's sex as their gender identity may not match their assigned sex but I've never met anyone who puts so much thought into it.

OfaFrenchMind · 21/11/2014 13:56

You can grit your teeth. That's absolutely your choice to be irritated at this, as you have strong opinions about it.

However, remember that we do not all want to completely redefine every words of our vocabulary just to fit one school of thinking. So do not expect people to change their way of speaking because you choose to follow one ideology.

Original poster
magneticfield55 · 21/11/2014 13:57

Bit of both, youmakemydreams. I get irritated because it's a medical scan and not there to find out sex (of course, it's fine to, but that's not what it's for) and the wrong use of the word gender/general gender things.

We did find out the sex by the way, the news quickly flattened by the fact the scan did pick up an anomaly (thankfully fine). But we'd initially been told the wrong one (female), and I was shocked at myself at how much I'd gendered my not-yet-born child, and began to think more deeply about the preconceived ideas I'd had, often subconsciously, about them based on their gender. So I'm not saying here that I'm great or anything.

OP posts:
Expedititition · 21/11/2014 13:57

And also, I'm sure the people looking forward to finding out the sex are also interested in the health of their baby. Seeing as they are pregnant and carrying it. Probably without people telling them they should care about the health of their child.

Only1scoop · 21/11/2014 13:57

All the scans I had with dd were private ones....they were dating scans....nuchal....anomaly....well being....

I had my scans to look at my babies development.

As a bonus we would get pics including 4d etc....I was asked if I wanted to know the sex which I did.

I used to sit in the waiting room and the times I would hear the receptionist explaining that they were not just a 'photo clinic' used to amaze me. Awful. Scans are not just a photo slide show.

Same with 'gender scans' Hmm

The sex of the baby can be looked at during a routine scan.

Original poster
magneticfield55 · 21/11/2014 13:59

Well... it's not a school of thinking, is it. Ideas around gender are. But sex and gender being separate aren't. I have two cats- one is male, one is female. One has testes and a penis, the other has ovaries a vagina. They don't have a gender.

OP posts:
SoonToBeSix · 21/11/2014 13:59

Yabu maybe get this thread moved to the feminist board.

Siarie · 21/11/2014 14:02

And this is why I don't go on the feminist forums...you guys are so aggressively passionate that it doesn't come across well online.

YANBU to have your own views, if it annoys you that's how you feel

But

YABU as there are gender scan specifically for checking the gender, I've had one. I don't consider my 20 week scan to be a gender scan but the scan I had privately at 16 weeks is a gender scan and thus I don't know what else I would be expected to call it.

Expedititition · 21/11/2014 14:05

Also why I don't go on feminist boards.

Very aggressive I am better than anyone else attitude.

I would class myself as a pretty effective feminist too.

TittyBojangles · 21/11/2014 14:05

I am in this exact field and it irritates me on a daily basis the use of the term gender when they mean sex. Leaving aside the issues with the fact that it's obviously a scan checking for anomalies. But I realise ppl mostly just misunderstand the word gender and don't actually realise what it means they just say it because it seems 'politer' than saying sex. I often correct them subtly but I always feel a bit of a twat when I do.

Original poster
magneticfield55 · 21/11/2014 14:05

As I said, I did find out the sex of our baby, and part of this has come from me initially getting the wrong one, and realising how much I'd already based my notions about what the child would be like based on their sex. I was gendering it heavily before it was even born- that's when I started to think about this and feeling that it was wrong of me. It's not me being an, "aggressive" feminist and saying everyone else is bad. It's me having caught myself on in ways of thinking that I don't think are helpful.

And the anomaly scan being a "gender scan" is a separate thing which has always irritated me.

OP posts:
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