To grit my teeth at the phrase, "gender scan"?

[magneticfield55]

For a start, unless you're paying for one which is specifically for that purpose, it's not. It's a medical scan to check organs etc.

But it's also not a, "gender" scan. All it will tell you is whether your baby has a penis or a vagina. That's it. It'll tell you that they're biologically male or female (intersexuality, androgen insensitivity syndrome etc aside). The inaccuracy of it irritates me. That penis or vagina will probably determine their position in the gender hierarchy, but it's still all we know about them at that point.

I'm a feminist and believe gender is socially constructed, with girls and women at the bottom. So I get really irritated by, "team pink!", "gender reveals". I know it can help us to bond with our bumps, but they're not even born yet and we're already basing our preconceived ideas of who they might be around their gender.

I don't begrudge anyone this, it just annoys me. AIBU?

YANBU. I hate those bollocks "team pink/blue" posts

I don't think getting your knickers in a twist over the correct use of the term gender is being feminist.

It's just being pedantic.

I agree with you about calling the 20 week scan a 'gender scan' though. It's not.

the 20 week scan cannot tell you whether the child like pink or blue, or dolls, or trucks, or trousers or dresses, all of which are "gender" issues.

No. Those aren't gender issues.

Gender = What you feel like on the inside.
Sex = What your organs are on the outside.

If the two don't match and it causes you anxiety you have body dysmorphic disorder and/or are transgendered.

It has fuck all to do with whether you like cars or dolls.

If you feel like you are a woman on the inside and love playing with car engines, your gender is a woman. End of.

If you feel like you are a man on the inside and are gay, love sewing, your gender is a man. End of.

You're welcome. :)

no! gender is not "female" or "male"
gender is "masculine" or "feminine"

Not body dysmorphic disorder. It's a completely separate thing, nothing to do with your sex and gender (sorry if I sound snippy but I have BDD!)

What does it mean to, "feel like a woman"?

Expedititititon - that's not what I meant.
I meant that they don't ask whether the baby is okay, that they don't even think about it - that all they can think about talking about is whether the baby is a boy or a girl.
I meant that people just don't think

ive never read such a pile of old nonsense as I have for the last 5 mins reading this thread. some people really need to get out more and do something less boring instead.

Gender identity Educate yourself.

It's NOT pedantic or overthinking to insist on the difference between gender and sex, because that difference is the basis of very real oppression of men, women, and especially those who are transgender.

ive never read such a pile of old nonsense as I have for the last 5 mins reading this thread. some people really need to get out more and do something less boring instead.

Bit hypocritical considering you decided to stick around 5 minutes to read it. It's a thread with a pretty clear topic. If you think it will be boring, don't read it. :)

Some people on this thread sound a bit like nasty white racists at the time of the civil rights movement, saying 'Black or coloured or n-s, it's all the same thing!'

Disgraceful. Can't you people see that language really, really matters - and has active effects in the world?

Peggy some people and their families are affected by gender issues. Sorry you've found it so boring - you could, you know, not bother reading and do something else instead

But nicklebabe I honestly think that it does cross their minds but it's just not what you ask. Sex is an easy conversation starter. I certainly wouldn't lead a conversation about a 20 week scan asking if everything's alright. I would assume that a friend or family would tell me.

Kato gender isn't a terrible word, nobody is saying that.

Yanbu

If you know loads of people that chirp about going for their "gender" scan when they are having their 20 week-ish anomaly scan then I guess YANBU but otherwise you sound a little offended for the sake of it.

I had a sexing scan at 16 weeks with my children, a scan I booked specifically to determine the sex of the child.

Presumably that wouldn't have made you cringe or grind your teeth?

Thanks Bulbasaur, that's very helpful.

and actually answers my question, rather than extracting one line.

Completely agree Peggy.

After our family's experience at the 20 week anomaly scan, asking if everything is all right is EXACTLY what I would do.

I know this is a bit off the thread topic, but for people to say the whole thread is a waste of time is pretty thoughtless too.

I shall now beat a hasty retreat and hide it.

I'm a feminist said OP

You don't say - I'd never have guessed by your post

Is that for me outofcontrol? Because I was saying that language is at the very heart of why the boundary between sex and gender can be considered blurred.

Also, those same feminists who attempt to destabilise the neat and convenient boxes in which we separate sex and gender, very much have the well being of trans-gendered others in mind.

OP you said you were trying to open a theoretical discussion on sex and gender. It wasn't clear that you were starting a discussion from the closed position that you are correct.

On that note, after being compared to an angry white racist, I'm out.

What does it mean to, "feel like a woman"? Excellent question.

We are fighting against sex stereotypes, but we are perfectly happy to let people classify activities and preference as feminine or masculine. I find it the height of sexism, really.

I'm a lot less worried about someone saying gender instead of sex about a baby who has no idea of either than I am about people rocking up to a 20 week scan thinking its sole purpose is to tell them whether they're having a boy or a girl.

I know several people who've had appallingly bad news at 20 weeks. That's got to be a hideous shock whatever, but surely made worse if you thought you were only going to find out what colour to paint the bedroom so have rocked up with the family in tow to see the cute pictures :( I know people who've done this too. Fortunately, so far none of them have been the same as the first group of people.

YABVU

If you have enough time ponder this and take the effort to start an AIBU about it, you need to get a hobby/job!