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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

to not buy dd 10 a train set for christmas

66 replies

morethanpotatoprints · 14/11/2014 22:24

She has never been much into playing with toys and a bit of a weird one really.
So, I'm not surprised really, but a train set.

It's not so much as I don't want her to have one but they are expensive for just a fad for a few months. She wants it to go round her room.
I can't help thinking its more of a bedroom gadgety kind of thing that holds things, picks things up.
This seems to be the main thing she wants it for.
So AIBU to not buy it her.

OP posts:
DillyDallyDaydreamer · 14/11/2014 22:29

Doesn't seem like she'll get much use out of it. What do you think you'll gret her instead my ten yo dd wants a phone or an elsa dress I'm not getting her the dress as I think she'll get bored of frozen soon.

Tobyjugg · 14/11/2014 22:34

Go round her room! How big is this thing?? I thought you meant a circle of track, an engine and a couple of trucks. No, YANBU.

nocoolnamesleft · 14/11/2014 22:35

Depends. I loved playing with the trainset at that age. Enormous thing, with scenery, and internal figure 8, and points, and remote control for the engines etc. Main problem was it was so big we couldn't leave it out all the time! One permanently round the edge of the room sounds very cool...but rather expensive if she's not going to get much use out of it.

Original poster
morethanpotatoprints · 14/11/2014 22:35

Thanks Dilly, I agree about the frozen dress.

I have no idea at all, she is so difficult to buy for.
She has never been one for dolls, even when friends bought her girly stuff when younger she wasn't interested.
Although, she does seem to be a bit more into make up and hair recently.
I have got a few bits and pieces and a hair curler wand, but nothing big or main present.
The little bits don't add up to much though.

It totally came out of the blue tonight, I laughed and she was a bit upset tbh.

I think she would be happy with a gadget that did something, she shares my ipad and she has a cheapish phone already.
She also has a 3ds but only plays occasionally, her gps are getting her a game for this.

OP posts:
howtodrainyourflagon · 14/11/2014 22:36

I don't know - train sets are fun. I'd get one for a dc that age.

Annunziata · 14/11/2014 22:37

Do you need to get it just now? Ask her to wait two weeks and if she still wants it, she could be doing worse!

FunkyBoldRibena · 14/11/2014 22:37

Would you get it if she had a penis? I mean, because you dont actually need a penis to enjoy a train set.

I got a Swiss army knife for my 9th birthday, and 38 years later, am still obsessed by wood and sawing, hammering and cutting. I didnt need a penis after all...who knew?

Why not get her a small one and see if she enjoys it and then progress to the larger one if she does?

FunkyBoldRibena · 14/11/2014 22:39

You laughed at your daughter when she expressed an actual 'want'? Wow. I'll bet she feels just grand after that.

Original poster
morethanpotatoprints · 14/11/2014 22:41

We live in an old Edwardian house, her room is joint biggest with ours.
She wants the track all the way round, it would cost hundreds.
Even the smaller ones are expensive though and I don't mind buying a smaller one but I know she won't get much use out of it as she is just changing into girly things. If she was a bit younger I wouldn't have a problem.

I wondered if there was something that sort of sat on a desk, moved and picked things up, something that did something she could watch in action. I'm sure this is the attraction.

She certainly wouldn't have the time, energy or perseverance to buy little bits and become an enthusiast.

OP posts:
hippo123 · 14/11/2014 22:41

What's wrong with a train set if she wants one? Have you seen the lego trains? If she gets bored you can sell them on ebay for loads afterwards.

OwlWearingSunglasses · 14/11/2014 22:43

I wanted a train set when I was 10. I got a desk for art work that I had no interest in doing.

I bought my own train set when I left home and still run it every so often :)
My loving train sets has led to me having my own business which I love.

girliefriend · 14/11/2014 22:43

If she has specifically asked for it then I would take that seriously and try and find the one she has asked for. YABU to laugh at her.

My 8yo dd loves trains and cars.

Original poster
morethanpotatoprints · 14/11/2014 22:45

Ha Ha no it has nothing to do with her not having a penis, she has a bmx bike, plays football and loves to rugby tackle her brothers.
It is the cost and knowing it won't last and probably not what she actually wants.
She said she wanted it to pick up things and transport them and she likes to watch the trains going round.
I just thought there may be something similar like a robot type of thing.
I will have to have a look round.

OP posts:
Original poster
morethanpotatoprints · 14/11/2014 22:50

Lego trains, fantastic will have a look, she still plays with her lego.

Just for the posters talking about gender. Both ds were growing out of lego now at y6, whereas dd still plays with it every now and then.
Which is great as like I said she isn't really into playing with anything really, apart from her instruments.

She can stand me laughing at her, she is a hard nut, but will be a little more sensitive.

OP posts:
hippo123 · 14/11/2014 22:56

She's 10, she's told you what she wants, a train set! Fair enough if you can't afford to get her one but it sounds like your willing to spend the money, just not on the thing she wants.

Your attitude seems very negative towards your dd. weird, difficult to buy for, she wouldn't have the time, energy or perservance, laughing at her idea?!? No wonder she was upset.

MindReader · 14/11/2014 23:02

Cant you source one via Gumtree or ebay and see if she 'grows out of it' or not?

Letitsnow9 · 14/11/2014 23:05

I've seen some cheap ones designed to go around a Christmas tree. Would that do? Would be cool to wake up to on Christmas Day if she's asked for a train set and cheaper

Original poster
morethanpotatoprints · 14/11/2014 23:06

hippo she gives out far more than she gets back believe me. However, I did say I would be more sensitive.
She was a bit upset I didn't take her seriously that's all. I also think it was fair enough as it did come out of the blue and she has never expressed an interest before.
I will look at the lego ones and other types of small tracks.
Also, my uncle was a huge enthusiast and had shed fulls of train tracks it was worth thousands 40 years ago, I grew up playing with trains, visiting museums and travelling on steam locomotives. I have the greasy rags to prove it, so certainly have no problem with gender or trains.

I would say a child who wasn't girly until now, didn't play with toys is difficult to buy for. Her brothers were far easier, that's all

OP posts:
Original poster
morethanpotatoprints · 14/11/2014 23:11

LetitSnow

That will be a fantastic idea, she had been looking on tv at an advert of train set, the xmas type when she asked about 5 min later.
You see them all at this time of year and I think this is maybe what sparked her interest.
Round the tree sounds fantastic, I'm going to have a look.
Thank you all for the brilliant suggestions.
I'm sure I'll find something to make her happy.

OP posts:
CaulkheadUpNorth · 14/11/2014 23:12

I wanted one of those aged 10 and 8,9,11,12 my parents wouldn't buy me one so it was the first thing I bought aged 16 with my wages from a part time job.

Mrsjayy · 14/11/2014 23:17

You could start a model railway collection iyswim it could eventually go round her room you might need to stick your anorak on Wink and go into a model shop though

FunkyBoldRibena · 14/11/2014 23:19

Not being funny, but having a non-girlie girl in the family is great. I have one, my niece, and have never found it hard to buy for her.

Have you considered she is only being girlie to win your affection? Bearing in mind you laughing at her.

DorisIsALittleBitPartial · 14/11/2014 23:22

Oooh, I had a train set when I was that age! DM & DF got me a cheap one the first year (it was a diesel) then a HORNBY Intercity 125 the following year. I was thrilled and used to try and make scenery out of shoe boxes they were crap
I also wanted to be the first female train driver but someone beat me to it Sad
If that's what she wants, let her have it. Better to get her what she wants then waste money on a present she doesn't want and will make her unhappy.

Original poster
morethanpotatoprints · 14/11/2014 23:24

Polar Express, its on her list now.
Its £240 I can't afford that for one present, ouch.
I think it will have to be out of stock.

I have heeded your advice and stories of missing out yourselves, maybe that's why some kids went without them, the price is quite steep.
Will look for some more reasonably priced varieties.

OP posts:
bloodyteenagers · 14/11/2014 23:25

hornby and lego are both expensive.
Have a look on Amazon. They have train sets for under £20.

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