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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

To borrow some of ds's savings?

68 replies

JulietBravoJuliet · 15/09/2014 10:16

I'm skint, seriously skint. Not been getting the hours I usually get from work (on a 10 hr contract but have done 20+ for the last year) as they're quiet, and money has just run out. I've sold everything I can that we don't need but I'm still £130 short of paying my rent, which is due this Friday, and desperately need to get some food shopping. I can't see any other way of making money before then; can't ask my dad for any more money as he's bailed me out enough recently, and have been taking as much weekday overtime as I can get from my other weekend job, but won't get the benefit of that until the end of the month payday, which is after the rent is due.

Ds has a couple of thousand in a savings account, which has never been touched. Would it be really bad if I borrowed some out of there to tide us over? I'm very actively looking for another job and we're moving house next month into somewhere my dad has bought so won't have any rent to pay then, and money issues will be solved. I'll 100% pay it back, but I just feel bad borrowing it :(

OP posts:
orangepudding · 15/09/2014 10:20

I would, your DS needs food and a roof over his head. It does sound as if you will be in a position to pay him back once you move.

PleaseLetMeKeepTheSportsCar · 15/09/2014 10:21

I think I would probably borrow some, however it is a slippery slope. Borrow now and will you borrow again?

Also, just because you bail yourself out of your situation now, what about next time? You need to try and get help with your finances

wigglesrock · 15/09/2014 10:21

I would, in fact have done in the past.

niceguy2 · 15/09/2014 10:22

Personally I'd try to borrow from your dad first as it could be very tempting to keep borrowing once you've done it the first time.

That said, no-one would blame you if you did.

Hereward1332 · 15/09/2014 10:23

I'm not sure you have much choice really. Is DS old enough to ask? If this is just a one off, it's not too bad. You're not using DS as a resource, just asking him for his help out of a really difficult situation.

It's better for him to have a roof over his head and some food than money in the bank for a couple of weeks.

Sounds like a horrible, but thankfully temoporary, situation - could you get a referral to a foodbank to tide you over?

iwantgin · 15/09/2014 10:24

I have done in the past. As long as you definitely pay it back I see nothing wrong with it.

s88 · 15/09/2014 10:25

I would and have done . He doesn't need that now . What he does need is a roof over his head and food in his tummy !

velocity1 · 15/09/2014 10:26

If you need money for food and rent I don't see you have a choice, borrow it with a clear conscience and make it your top priority to pay back as soon as you can.

Original poster
JulietBravoJuliet · 15/09/2014 10:26

Well I've managed to not borrow any for the past 8 years, and, like I say, once we move, we'll be £475 a month better off so won't have to worry then. I work two jobs, but one has reduced my hours dramatically the last couple of months and I'm seeking another job as I can't carry on like this (the other job I do is at weekends and the business is currently up for sale so not sure how secure that job is either tbh!).

I should be able to pay it back over the next couple of months.

OP posts:
MrsWinnibago · 15/09/2014 10:28

Do it....it would be silly not to! You can pay it back in bits and maybe add a fiver onto the monthly or weekly repayments to build it up once you're better off.

londonrach · 15/09/2014 10:31

If your child need food and a roof i would borrow the money but every single penny needs to be returned. Hopefully your situation improves. Have you found out about the food banks.

Original poster
JulietBravoJuliet · 15/09/2014 10:32

My dad is buying me a house, which I'm eternally grateful for, as it is wonderful to know I'll have a secure roof over my head, and has helped me out with other bits and bobs, so I really don't want to ask him. Plus, I know he won't accept money back if I ask to borrow, so feels like I'm asking for a handout if you know what I mean?

I think I'm going to borrow £200 and set up a standing order for £100 a month for the next two months when I get paid to pay it back. Ds is 8 and would be the first to offer me the money, as he's a very generous little fella :)

OP posts:
MasterFlea · 15/09/2014 10:33

I have done so in the past and paid it back when I got solvent again.
I kept an IOU noted so I remembered how much to return.

londonrach · 15/09/2014 10:35

Good idea op. Wising you and your son lots of happy years in your new secure home xxxx

Original poster
JulietBravoJuliet · 15/09/2014 10:38

Thank you :) I can't wait!

OP posts:
bauhausfan · 15/09/2014 10:39

I definitely would and I wouldn't feel guilty about it.

JustMarriedBecca · 15/09/2014 10:40

I remember my parents doing this when I was 8 or 9. They asked me if they could and, this is the bit I remember, offered me 'interest' on my loan. I think it was for about a month but I felt so grown up being consulted.

Aside from the benefit of feeding and housing your DS, I think it's good to teach children about finances from an early age.

Original poster
JulietBravoJuliet · 15/09/2014 10:42

JustMarriedBecca that's a really nice idea; I think I'll speak to ds later and offer him an extra £20 or so for lending me £200. I can make him a little payment card so as he can tick it off :)

OP posts:
IAmAPaleontologist · 15/09/2014 10:50

Of course you should borrow, what good will his savings account be without a roof over his head. Even if you can't ever pay it back (which I know you can) then you should still take it, his money is to help provide for his needs and a home and food are a rather vital part of that.

I'm forever pinching from dc's money boxes for change for the parking at work Blush. Ds1 just rolls his eyes at me now Grin.

Good luck on the job front and enjoy your new home :)

HelenaQC · 15/09/2014 10:55

I have also done the same in the past. Needs must, and it's not as if you're borrowing it for a pair of shoes or a night out. Food and rent is a necessity for him as much as you.

Provided it's paid back, I cannot see any problem at all.

seasavage · 15/09/2014 11:13

Absolutely do it. My parents had to once, and years down the line they helped me out no quibbles.

Marmiteandjamislush · 15/09/2014 11:24

Two questions: How old is your son? and Did you contribute to the savings? If so, I think it's fine so long as you definitely pay it back in at the earliest opportunity. If however, the money comes from legacies to your son, I think that's a different matter and you should explore the option of lending from your Dad. I'm not quite sure why, but I think in this scenario it's different, the benefactors left the money for your son as an adult and it should not be used until he is old enough to choose independently. I'm not having a go, being short of cash and freelancing is a bugger, I know.

Marmiteandjamislush · 15/09/2014 11:24

borrowing from your Dad, I mean

Original poster
JulietBravoJuliet · 15/09/2014 11:46

Half of the money was some my late mum gave him and the other half is what I've paid in.

OP posts:
Trooperslane · 15/09/2014 11:51

Juliet, you won't remember but you've given me some lovely advice before.

So - go for it with a clear conscience.

And it sounds like you're sorting yourself out very well going forward.

Thanks