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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

To borrow some of ds's savings?

68 replies

JulietBravoJuliet · 15/09/2014 10:16

I'm skint, seriously skint. Not been getting the hours I usually get from work (on a 10 hr contract but have done 20+ for the last year) as they're quiet, and money has just run out. I've sold everything I can that we don't need but I'm still £130 short of paying my rent, which is due this Friday, and desperately need to get some food shopping. I can't see any other way of making money before then; can't ask my dad for any more money as he's bailed me out enough recently, and have been taking as much weekday overtime as I can get from my other weekend job, but won't get the benefit of that until the end of the month payday, which is after the rent is due.

Ds has a couple of thousand in a savings account, which has never been touched. Would it be really bad if I borrowed some out of there to tide us over? I'm very actively looking for another job and we're moving house next month into somewhere my dad has bought so won't have any rent to pay then, and money issues will be solved. I'll 100% pay it back, but I just feel bad borrowing it :(

OP posts:
PersonOfInterest · 15/09/2014 21:28

I wouldn't hesitate.

Bouttimeforwine · 15/09/2014 23:25

Don't feel guilty, it's not as if you are really in a position to choose not to. Needs must and all that. Even if you can't afford to pay it back, better a roof over his head now, than the alternative.

HicDraconis · 16/09/2014 03:44

I'd borrow it! What good is a few thousand in a savings account if he can't eat dinner?

For what it's worth, both my boys have savings accounts - they are empty. I know exactly how much each boy should have in each account and I keep track of interest that should be paid in etc, but all their money is sitting in with all our money in an offset mortgage account. If they needed it (at 8 and 6 they don't, we give them everything they need and most things they want) then it would be theirs, but right now it's saving us all interest as a family. I feel no guilt over this whatsoever, I don't think your situation is any different.

Once the mortgage is paid off in a few years, we'll transfer their savings plus accumulated interest back into their own accounts. They'll get access when they're old enough to use it properly - about 35 or so Grin

FishWithABicycle · 16/09/2014 04:37

I clicked on the link planning to say YABU and it's too slippery a slope and before you knew it you'd have spent his whole inheritance - but having read through the thread I think it's ok actually - but do consult him first, give it back to him with interest (£55 per month for 4 months rather than trying to do it in 2, with also putting at least £40 pm into your own savings account to be never touched except in an emergency like this)

Flangeshrub · 16/09/2014 04:51

Oh take it and don't feel guilty at all! He's a child and needs practical things not abstract money in an account.

I've done it, paid it back at my leisure and would it again with no shame or fear. Life is hard.

R4roger · 16/09/2014 05:13

i havent taken money from dc's accounts, but i have stopped paying into them in the past to get out of a hole

Eva50 · 16/09/2014 05:30

What good is the money in a savings account for him if he is sleeping on the street and going hungry. I would use it without another thought.

When ds1 was a baby we used money my mother gave us when he was born to pay for the extra electricity we needed over the winter with a new born baby where as my sister, who was quite well off, put the money she was given in an account for her dc (the only thing to do according to Mumsnet). Ds1 is now 19 and for the last three years we have given him an allowance as, due to his sn's, it is difficult for him to get a part time job to fit round college. What goes around comes around. Don't feel guilty.

DameDiazepamTheDramaQueen · 16/09/2014 07:28

Fish -give it back with interest? Isn't part of being a family contributing and helping out when needed? I certainly wouldn't be adding interest to ease any guilt I might have.

ssd · 16/09/2014 08:10

interest? good grief Shock

maybe I've been slow here over the years, when I've given the teenagers a tenner at the weekend, should I be keeping a tally of the interest they could owe me in years to come? maybe i should be contacting a tax advisor about all this....

sheesh

FishWithABicycle · 16/09/2014 08:15

dame did you read the thread? The OP decided some time ago that she wanted to give interest, in response to a different poster.

I've never charged my siblings interest when I've loaned to them, and my parents have lent to me without interest, but borrowing from ones own child really is the top of a slippery slope so imposing a penal interest rate will help it not to be a habit.

DameDiazepamTheDramaQueen · 16/09/2014 08:18

I skimmed the thread sorry, but I still stand by not giving interest, it's not necessary and it's a good life lesson for ds.

saoirse31 · 16/09/2014 08:23

Have done this and paid it back with interest

Pensionerpeep · 16/09/2014 09:04

This reply has been deleted

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

whatever5 · 16/09/2014 10:10

I would only borrow if your DS gives you permission. I certainly wouldn't just help myself as it feels wrong (probably influenced by the fact that the mother of a friend of mine took money out of his account without asking when we were teenagers. We considered it to be theft).

Original poster
JulietBravoJuliet · 16/09/2014 10:21

Thanks for all the replies :) I spoke to ds last night and he offered me the money in his bank account, so I'm happy to borrow it as a short term loan to get us through this month. I've got a load of overtime to come on the next pay packet, and more lined up for the coming month, so no qualms about paying it back. I offered ds a bit extra for letting me borrow it and he just shrugged, bless him! As soon as I move, I'm setting up a standing order each month into a separate account for the amount of my rent, so as I've got an emergency fund building up.

Pensionerpeep yes, that was me with the head injury. It's only the last couple of months that I've felt up to working full time again, so money's been tight, though manageable, for a while, but a month or so of not getting my hours has thrown me completely.

OP posts:
atticusclaw · 16/09/2014 10:24

We cleared both kids bank accounts when we moved house rather than put more on the mortgage. We put the money in there in the first place and we paid it back a couple of months later. I saw no issue with doing this at all. The more important thing is the home for the family.

futuredad · 16/09/2014 10:35

naty1 there won't be any "tax implications" as the tax free aspect of any child's savings relates only to the interest rather than the capital itself.

On the basis that there is c.£2k in the savings account, if an (extremely generous) interest rate of 5% was being paid this would equate to £100 gross interest. If this were being paid on an adult's account, this would be subject to a tax charge of 20% (i.e. £20). On a pro-rata basis, the amount of tax you're suggesting is being "avoided" would be about £2!!!

Itsjustmeagain · 16/09/2014 10:38

My parents emptied an account set up for me by my grandparents. It was a fair few thousand and I never got it back. I really dont CARE - we needed it at the time for food and shelter! I would have been slightly confused if after a childhood of homelessness and poverty they were to turn around and give me access to a savings account full of thousands of pounds on my 18 birthday!

do it he will understand.

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