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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

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Original poster

To borrow some of ds's savings?

68 replies

JulietBravoJuliet · 15/09/2014 10:16

I'm skint, seriously skint. Not been getting the hours I usually get from work (on a 10 hr contract but have done 20+ for the last year) as they're quiet, and money has just run out. I've sold everything I can that we don't need but I'm still £130 short of paying my rent, which is due this Friday, and desperately need to get some food shopping. I can't see any other way of making money before then; can't ask my dad for any more money as he's bailed me out enough recently, and have been taking as much weekday overtime as I can get from my other weekend job, but won't get the benefit of that until the end of the month payday, which is after the rent is due.

Ds has a couple of thousand in a savings account, which has never been touched. Would it be really bad if I borrowed some out of there to tide us over? I'm very actively looking for another job and we're moving house next month into somewhere my dad has bought so won't have any rent to pay then, and money issues will be solved. I'll 100% pay it back, but I just feel bad borrowing it :(

OP posts:

Trooperslane · 15/09/2014 11:52

Palaeontologist has it.

Marmiteandjamislush · 15/09/2014 11:58

Then, YANBU.

FannyFifer · 15/09/2014 12:04

Of course you should use the money that is saved.
Hope things get better for you soon.

starlight1234 · 15/09/2014 12:13

I would far better as this is a situation which does have a resolution. I am not sure about asking him though as I wouldn't want my child to know I have money troubles. Also what are you going to do if he says no?

ThirteenMeetings · 15/09/2014 12:24

I think you should do it, but consult your son if you possibly can. It's likely your son will feel extremely grown-up for being consulted and very proud that he is able to help the family.

PiperIsOrange · 15/09/2014 12:31

I wouldn't even ask my children, I would just take the money and pay it back in when I could afford it.

It's not like it's for a holiday or a night out. It is for basics.

squoosh · 15/09/2014 12:34

If I were you I would most definitely borrow the money from your son's account. You're paying the rent not buying yourself a pair of shoes.

Absolute no brainer.

AtlantisMonkey · 15/09/2014 12:36

batgirl1984 · 15/09/2014 12:50

I'm another one in the 'just do it' camp. I remember offering my parents all the money in my bank account (it would not have made half a mortgage payment). I don't think that at 8 yo he needs to worry about money - that's your job. Just use it and pay generous interest. But you know your son best, if he knows you are in trouble he may like to be part of the solution. But imo that is a lot of pressure for a young child.

DameDiazepamTheDramaQueen · 15/09/2014 12:59

Yes of course,I don't know anyone who would even give it a second thought. I'd just take it but I know my ds would willingly help if I asked.

Nomama · 15/09/2014 13:01

I was the child whose piggy bank was raided by parents and never paid back, I was never asked, once my piggy bank was smashed - one of those pottery ones without a hole - and no one ever said anything other than 'Mummy and daddy needed it".

So I think asking and offering interest etc is a really good idea. It will make your DS feel safe and valued and all grown up

however · 15/09/2014 13:09

Of course you should!

Original poster

JulietBravoJuliet · 15/09/2014 20:08

Thank you everybody, feeling less guilty now :)

OP posts:

Slutbucket · 15/09/2014 20:16

Borrow the money and give yourself a break. You sound lovely (as I wouldn't have any qualms!)

naty1 · 15/09/2014 20:18

There may be tax implications if you spend the money that has presumably been earning interest tax free.

Pollywallywinkles · 15/09/2014 20:22

I would firstly ask if I could have an advance on my pay before I borrowed money.

Original poster

JulietBravoJuliet · 15/09/2014 20:22

Tax implications? In what way?

OP posts:

Peppa87 · 15/09/2014 20:23

Do it, and don't feel guilty. No point in your family going without if there is money sat there doing nothing!
Just ensure you put it back when you can to avoid feeling bad forever!

ssd · 15/09/2014 20:23

your dad sounds lovely, hes brought you up to be responsible and hard working, and I'm sure your bringing your little ds up the same. I'd ask him, make him feel part of being responsible for money and show him how you pay it back, he'll enjoy feeling grown up.

you'll feel less guilty as you're teaching your son life lessons, like your Late mum and dad taught you

LadySybilLikesCake · 15/09/2014 20:23

If you can't afford your rent then you need to claim housing benefit, even if it's just for a month. Have you been to the CAB? There may be benefits that you're not claiming which you could. Are you getting maintenance (sorry if you're not a LP).

Original poster

JulietBravoJuliet · 15/09/2014 20:26

I've looked into HB but they've said it will take 6-8 weeks to process, as they have a backlog, and I'll hopefully be moved by then anyway so seems little point in putting in a new claim. I am a LP and no, not getting any maintenance, but again that's not a short term solution. Long term, I'll be fine, it's just this last couple of months have been short at work, but I'll manage just fine once I've moved.

OP posts:

OrangeTart · 15/09/2014 20:27

I would borrow fron one of my children without a second thought. My parents did from me many times, sometimes not paying it back but over the years have given me far far more than they borrowed.

EvansOvalPiesYumYum · 15/09/2014 20:29

Absolutely borrow it!!

I used some of my children's savings when they needed a new "grown-up" bed, and to tax the car once. (And a couple of other bits and bobs here and there)!

The way I see it, they've had it back over and over again, through the years, but as it was DP and I paying into their savings account in the first place we had no qualms at all in borrowing it when we needed to.

Don't feel guilty (as long as you pay it back)! and good luck in your new house

YakInAMac · 15/09/2014 20:33

Just do it.

It sounds as if you are working incredibly hard and managing as well as you can.

This is a cash flow issue. Just make sure that you do replenish the savings, otherwise you will feel bad.

But as you go forward, only add more money if / when you can REALLY afford it - build up a rainy day pot for yourself from your rent savings.

Of course there won't be any tax implications on withdrawing £200 for a couple of months and then putting it back. Depending on the type of account they might dock you 3 months interest on the withdrawal though. But frankly interest these days, on that amount....

LadySybilLikesCake · 15/09/2014 20:33

I'd put the claim in anyway and use that (when it's all sorted) to repay the loan (from ds, you've put some of that in there too and you're using it for his benefit). I'm a fan of 'use the deposit as the last month's rent' myself. Leave a forwarding address though.

I've had to borrow from my son. His father decided to stop paying maintenance (long story), this was used to get ds to school. No maintenance, no way to get him there. We moved closer to the school 6 weeks later to cut costs down. Things happen, you're not being unreasonable at all. If you were to use it so that you could go clothes shopping or for a weekend away, now that would be very different, but you're using it to feed him and keep a roof over his head.

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