There's a crab in my cupboard

[FiloFunky]

What am I going to do?!

Seriously?! Erm do you have a bucket handy that you could scoop it up into?

Is it snapping? (Ie is it alive?)

Is this a euphemism?

Do you not have a bucket and something to scoop it into? Do you live by the sea?

See your GP.

A real one? How did it get there? Do you live on a beach??

Did you mean crab or crap.

Why would you be being reasonable or unreasonable? Is it reasonable to have a crab in your cupboard?

I'm assuming it's DPs escaped from the tank. It looks pretty dead... I'm a bit frightened of it

On a scale of 1-10 how bat shit crazy do you think my neighbour will assume I am if I ask for help??

BIWI If it is just sitting there no, but if it is reading the paper farting and has opened the wine I would say hell yes

Am I the only one who immediately thought of bob Marley?

Theres a crab in my kitchen what am I gonna do?

Cupboard*

Fail..

Isn't that UB40 monkey?

Can you prod it with something and see what it does?!

YANBU at being scared, I would be. Also YANBU to ask neighbour for help!
Could you throw a bucket over it and leave it for DP to deal with when he gets back?

Well.... If I prod it and it moves.... I will freak out. It scares me when out of the tank.... As it could get me!!!

On the other hand it probably needs to be in the water..... And I don't want to be cruel.

FFS.

Good call bullshit I had a feeling that was wrong.

Lets make that a double fail

Im having nightmares just thinking about how you'd test if a crab is alive or not.

How did it get into the cupboard in the first place?

Are you sure its not dead and DP has put it there to scare you?

Do you have any BBQ tongues you could pick it up with?

Pick it up with kitchen tongs and cook it

I don't think so... He wouldn't normally scare me with such things!!

Ok I have tongs.... I am off to prod....

Asking your neighbour for help is not advisable. Can you imagine?

"Filo came round and asked me to sort out her crabs"

How big is it?

"Filo came round and asked me to sort out her crabs"

Lol! Maybe not such a good idea then!

Well it didn't move I gave it a quick nudge.... Then shut the door...so I guess I wait for DP?!

Crab sticks.

Just grab it with the tongs and put it in a bucket?