To complain about this woman

[someonestolemynick]

She calls herself my mummy.

Today she's working from home, which I was all in favour of until I realised that that didn't mean she would be dangling my string for me for several hours but instead dump me for her laptop.

Should I LTB or file a complaint with daddy?

Hector The Grey

Ummm

Hector - are you feline okay?

Oh, come and move in with us you cutie. We have a vacancy and it comes with doting teenager who would be your personal servant.

Well Hector

What a lovely name you have, I would first try and get mummy's attention by making water on her laptop, the fizzing from the keyboard should make for great larks, if that fails then You could always bring her a live gift from the garden to show your appreciation for her having a day off to keep you company.

If all else fails when she is not on a day off I always find that leaving little gifts amongst the new bedding always does the job.

All the best

Technically yes, but I'm acting hurt so so shhh.

Have you tried stretching out along the keyboard, and possibly having 40 winks? This should get her attention. Failing that, go and scratch the sofa. This will defiantly work.

You need to sit on her laptop keyboard. When she tries to move you - passive resistance - go floppy and ooze out of her arms and back onto the keyboard.

You really need to train your pet. If you are going to get a human you need to train them properly.

Down, will there be tuna?

Guiltypleasure, I like the water idea but don't feel comfortable with anything that could make me cold and wet. I think I'll go with the life gift once I finished lounging out on the bed staring accusingly at mummy. Do you think she'd be more freaked out by a rat or a wood pigeon? Hungry now, think I'll break into the food cupboard first.

If

Sitting on her laptop? Mhmmmm, mummy proved very allergic to that but I haven't tried it for a while. Maybe she's cured now.

Icansee [sigh] I know, I mean to tell her firmly now, but really can't resist when she tickles under my chin. Must become firmer.

AAAARGH!!!

If a laptop is not for sits, why is it made of warms?!?!

One of kitty's eternal questions.

Hector, come round here, and my DD will show you and give you a full days training on how to get your mum round your little thumb.

Starting with, go up to her toes, and bite them really hard ...

The teenager is so besotted with cats that you could pretty much write your own menu; tuna, sardines, chicken breast in stock, grilled steak...
He'd create meals for you and watch anxiously until you communicated your opinion to him.

I like your teenager a lot better than my mummy [contemtous look at bowl full of dried cat food] but first I go into training with Shine's DD just to be sure. [practises looking upset out of his big green eyes]

Hector, I feel your pain. Imagine my surprise when my doting mummy works from home and this doesn't mean lots of sitting on her knee whilst I rest my head on her big tummy (aside - what on earth is a "little brother"? Should I be concerned?). Instead, I am encouraged to frolic in the garden like some kind of idiot kitten.

I think you need to do something spectacular with this laptop interloper. I learnt how to turn the screen upside down on hers, by walking over a particular combination of keys. She was super impressed at my technological skills and dexterity AND had to shut it down so I got fusses. Hurrah!

Good luck, comrade.

LePetitChat

At least someone understands my suffering. Just got kicked of mummy's my bed and sent in the garden so she could go out "to see a client". It's almost as if she doesn't trust me in the bedroom. Wonder if she saw this thread.

Nothing but trouble with the domestics.

Watch out for "little brothers", they're trouble. Sulk when she mentions it again. You're the cat. Your house, your rules.

You can't get the staff, can you?

...and I have tried EVERYTHING: rolling over, big pleading eyes, sulking by the door but not going out. Might have to get a human-whisperer in.

Me again with my string. Just to prove how vital it is that the maid mummy let's me chase it a minimum of 8 hours a day.

Lets ...no apostrophe. Even mummy's spellcheck is a let down.

Oh Hector, of course YANBU.

hooby prrrrrrrr. I know. There was never any question about it. I'm a cat.