To complain about this woman

[someonestolemynick]

She calls herself my mummy.

Today she's working from home, which I was all in favour of until I realised that that didn't mean she would be dangling my string for me for several hours but instead dump me for her laptop.

Should I LTB or file a complaint with daddy?

Hector The Grey

This is what I do when it looks like my slave might want to put her feet up...

No book for you, human.

My maid has worked out a way around it: she lifts me up and no amount of indignant miaows can stop her. Cheeky cow.

If you have access to a piano, stomp about on its keyboard - lots.

No piano here but i'm sure daddy won't mind if I go for his guitars. This an emergency after all.

Might scratch a new pattern into his base. Black and shiny is sioo boring

You need stronger tactics Hector.

try a sit in protest ?

If she lifts you up (the indignity!) you get right back on there, Hector. I was struck by your earlier mantra of " our house, our rules". I think it applies here. She will soon tire of removing you.

You can come live with me, my fat cat seems to have replaced me :-(

Lots of good ideas on here, lepetit I tried your technique.
Mummy has obviously studied psychological warfare as she has just put me out of the room. I'm thinking about putting lead weights under my fur.

Kali i'm so sorry, it's never OK to abandon a human. Especially in this hot weather. I can send one of my little brothers over, they are looking for humans to adopt.

Awww Hector that's awful

There are some brilliant ideas for you on here! I can't believe you have been put out of the room - you poor little soul.

Have you tried scratching the door and then, if that fails, pooing in the doorway? When she walks out of the room, she is bound to step in it, so that will teach her a lesson.

And when daddy comes home, I think you should complain (loudly) to him. You are far too cute to have to put up with that kind of treatment.

DownBy Your teenager sounds absolutely fab!

Poking in the doorway? Genius! Absolute genius! It takes two to engage in psychological warfare.

Pooing, of course. Will scratch autocorrect on mummy's phone until it stops standing in the way of my genius.

Anarchycats always find it effective!

Another ploy is the "poke the human's eyes with your claws at 2.00 am until she wakes up" - that works REALLY well as a punishment. You have to train your humans properly, or you risk making a rod for your own back, because they will think THEY are in charge!

Oh, and if you can manage it, a little vomit in a strategic place is effective too!

Will print off this thread and showy humans. So glad I am being entirely reasonable.

You are a cat - therefore you are ALWAYS reasonable! Good luck with your campaign, Hector!

Tbh I only came on here so I could tap the collective wisdom of mumscatsnet. I knew I was being r.

I sicked up on my Mummy's keyboard once...I often think of that time with joy and pride.

My hooman was very shocked but it result in her shutting awful keyboard more often. Ha. She think she can ignore ME and tap tap that silly thing all day!

MrsWinnibago's cat, you are a hero. Please accept this shiny catsnet medal.

Anarchycat oh no, do you think my humans actually think they're in charge??? Definitely must be firmer and resist chin tickles at all costs.

What is medal please? Can I eat?

Oh poor hector, you are not alone theoatmeal.com/comics/cat_vs_internet

Hector - I'm sure they know that they are not, but it does no harm to remind them every now and again.

One good way is if you always pretend that you love the other human more - for example when daddy gets home give him lots of purrs etc and totally ignore mummy! If you do this kind of thing, and swap your affections over sometimes for no good reason, they will compete for your love and you will win!

Mrs Winnibago's Cat Excellent work - you are an example to cats everywhere!