Please or to access all these features

Add post

Watch this thread

Save thread

Start a new thread

Flip thread

Hide thread

My feed

Active Unanswered threads

Getting started FAQ's

Unanswered threads Acronyms Talk guidelines

Hide shortcut buttons

Talk

AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Flip

1 2 3

Original poster

to be upset about this

54 replies

x2boys · 27/06/2014 22:39

My son was four last month he has a diagnosis of autism and learning difficulties ,he is going on a trip with nursery to a farm next week and they want to put a/wrist strap on him because they are afraid he wil wander off the thing is I have have never had to use reins or a wrist strap and we walk up and down a busy main road three times a day taking older Ds to school younger D's to nursery pickups etc when I stop he stops and he is too scared to let go of my hand even when we go shopping he walks around holding my hand .I could understand if he was a bolter but he isn't ?

OP posts:

Luggagecarousel · 27/06/2014 22:41

Why do you find the extra safety precaution upsetting? it is a LOT more comfortable than holding hands.

Hebburnisaplaceonearth · 27/06/2014 22:42

They must have done a risk assessment and decided it might be a
Possibility he might wander off and the wrist strap is their solution. Do they have enough staff with them to allocate one staff member to stay with him at all times?

SDTGisAnEvilWolefGenius · 27/06/2014 22:44

What about one of those backpacks that doubles as a set of reins? Tbh, it is better that they are too cautious than not cautious enough.

RachelWatts · 27/06/2014 22:45

He isn't with you, but do they have reason to believe he will behave differently with them?

Would having a wrist strap distress him? Would he be upset at being treated differently to his classmates? If not, then would it be easier to accept the restriction?

I don't have much experience of autism, but my DS1's school recently had to have the gates modified after one of his autistic classmates repeatedly escaped from the grounds.

Gargamella · 27/06/2014 22:45

Yanbu to worry if he's being subject to extra precautions unnecessarily but are you sure he's being singled out? The nursery my DCs went to insisted on wrist straps for everyone on trips out to busy places.

Casmama · 27/06/2014 22:46

Surely the issue is whether or not it will upset him? If he would be ok with it then you need to get over it.

tethersend · 27/06/2014 22:48

I don't think a wrist strap is a good idea- even if they think he's at risk of running off, how are they going to teach him not to?

Will they still be using a wrist strap next year? The year after?

It would be far better to up the staffing ratio if possible.

Agree with others that you should query with school the risk he presents.

Original poster

x2boys · 27/06/2014 22:48

Yes he will be with the ta who he has a great relationship with she said she will be his 1:1 all day I appreciate they may think its a risk its a mainstream nursery but I don't want him to be singled out more than he already is if I felt he was a risk of course would agree to it but I am well aware of his difficulties and wandering off is not one of them .

OP posts:

SDTGisAnEvilWolefGenius · 27/06/2014 22:49

That is why I suggested the reins-backpack - in case the wrist strap would upset the OP's son.

tethersend · 27/06/2014 22:49

I have taken many children with autism on school trips BtW and not once used a wrist strap.

tethersend · 27/06/2014 22:51

Surely part of the purpose of the trip is to teach the children how to be safe and responsible when out and about? How can they do this with a wrist strap?

I agree with you, OP- This does not sound appropriate.

Original poster

x2boys · 27/06/2014 22:51

Yes he would be upset by something around his wrist when we have been to a fair etc and he has a wrist band he can't tolerate it and it is just him and another little boy i!,m not sure what issues the other child has but I know he is non verbal.

OP posts:

Iswallowedawatermelon · 27/06/2014 22:51

I'm sorry you are upset about this. But I do think yabu.

I think it is up to them to make this decision as they have responsibility for his safety. Children behave differently for different carers and in different circumstances.

If you really dont like it maybe keep him home?

Iswallowedawatermelon · 27/06/2014 22:53

If the wrist strap will upset him then definitely suggest a back pack.

Aeroflotgirl · 27/06/2014 22:54

Yabvvu my dd7 has a dx of Autism and dev delay and I would rather the extra precaution. He might behave differently fir you and for nursery, and tgey probably have 29 other children to look after. You would be first on their backs if your ds did wander off and something happened!

tethersend · 27/06/2014 22:55

It smacks of putting the children with SN on wrist straps- this is really lazy, and removes a fantastic teaching opportunity. If staffing is a problem, this needs to be addressed, rather than using a wrist strap instead of proper support.

Aeroflotgirl · 27/06/2014 22:56

Yes a back back might be better if he dies not tolerate wrist strap, if not why not offer to accompany him.

CoffeeTea103 · 27/06/2014 22:57

Yabu, if they feel that the school needs to exercise extra precaution then they should. They are responsible for him so should decide what works for them.

Aeroflotgirl · 27/06/2014 23:00

At nursery my dd understanding was not as good as a year or 2 down tge line. He is at nursery, a lot of his peers parents might still be using backpack reins on their little ones. It's not like he is 7 and still has a wrist strap.

Original poster

x2boys · 27/06/2014 23:00

Its just I don't think he needs it all the children are there and four so can be unpredictable and I realise my son has issues most kids don't but be cause I don't drive we always walk or take buses and when we are out in unfamiliar place es he gets to scared to wander off .

OP posts:

Original poster

x2boys · 27/06/2014 23:01

Three and four !

OP posts:

Aeroflotgirl · 27/06/2014 23:03

I understand that x2boys but tgey are in loco perentis, if they feel he needs that for his safety than why not offer to accompany him., your ds might be different and behave differently in the nursery, than with you, and as his mum it's your call what you do with ds, but if he is in their care and goes missing than the buck stops with them.

MostWicked · 27/06/2014 23:05

Yanbu. They are treating him according to their perception of his diagnosis, not according to his needs. They have done a risk assessment and fear that he may run off, but they haven't asked you if that is likely. They haven't asked you what steps you take when you take him out.
If you don't use a wrist strap, he doesn't run off and he has a 1-1 then there is absolutely no justification for using one on this trip.

PassTheCakeitsbeenatough1 · 27/06/2014 23:05

YANBU, this is a very lazy way of dealing with SEN and I'm not even mentioning the blatant generalisation school is making. They feel that a wrist strap will solve a 'problem' but if they can't control him then they shouldn't be taking him anywhere. If they can't encourage him to walk with them then how is it safe to take him out? Someone needs to get to know him and pretty quickly, it doesn't sound like they've made much of an effort to learn about your DS's needs. It concerns me that they think tethering a 4 year old will keep him safe, I doubt they would know what to do if he became distressed, or if they've even realised what kind of an effect this might have on him. Surely, something he isn't used to in a place he doesn't know is a very, very bad move for staff looking after a child with autism? Do they usually use restraining as a solution or have they got other methods?

Original poster

x2boys · 27/06/2014 23:06

Yes I may do that my older son who is seven has no road sense he doesn't have additional needs but doesn't concentrate but nothing was ever suggested with him.

OP posts:

Flip

1 2 3