To think that when I've been away for the weekend ...

[CocktailQueen]

I would prefer that some housework and tidying was done, so the house doesn't look like shit when I get home, instead of a bunch of 'welcome home' flowers?? Or Aibu and ungrateful??

XDP used to leave me the shit house to return to, but no flowers, so you are BU

It depends - were they "bugger - I forgot" dregs from the bottom of the bucket garage flowers?

My friend went away for a girls week away, leaving her DH and 3 teenage DSs.

When she got back, she said she walked in, looked around, walked straight back out and went to the Premier Inn.

When she came back again the next day, they'd made attempts to clear up. They'd lived in a midden all week expecting her to tidy it when she got back

Where did you go first?

If you've been swannng around on a spa break yabu if you've been looking after an elderly relative yanbu.

I did the same once too. I was the one travelling with kids. H home alone for a week. Not impressed is an understatement.

wherever you have been you should come home to a reasonable house imo

it is so depressing to get back to a vile mess

I realised I had turned into my mother when I started to vacuum the carpet whilst everyone waited in the car to go on holiday.

Thecatsbollocks I disagree.

Unless the mess is justifiable in some ways I do not think it matterswhere the dw has been. And viceversa.

You prefer?

You should be demanding not preferring.

YANBU

Thecatsbollocks...... Really? Punishment for a weekend away is justified? You've been away so you clear up all the mess we've made! Shocking attitude.

Have you been working away? Or looking after a sick relative because if you've been on a jolly yabu.

Why should the OP clear up after her family when she was not even in the house.

I mean, if you left your DH with at least two children of 3 or under, then just about forgivable. Otherwise, YANBU.

Cant believe the posters saying op is being u if she was on a jolly. The mess left says that her family assume she will sort it all out
Why the fuck should she? They made the mess presumably and I'm guessing she's jyst asking for a reasonable level of tidiness, not expecting the house to have been redecorated or something.

I used to get this when I'd been in hospital myself or with one of the kids, I'd get home after 2 weeks if stress to find the house is a DUMP!

I was quite firm with DP and now I tell him straight that we will be home on X date so at the very least he needs to make sure the kitchen is clean and tidy and the washing is done and to crack a few windows to let the fresh air in, he's one of these that doesn't 'see mess' so once it's pointed out to him it's passable by the time I get back with DS.

I think you're being a tad ungrateful, but that depends on what kind of weekend away it was.

It's not a shocking attitude.

If the OP has twins under 1 and a couple of toddlers and has left for the weekend it would be U for her to come back to a spotless house.

But we don't know the situation because she left that bit out.

Restandpeace are you serious?

I think it also depends on how bad the house is I know that I have high standards so I don't expect DP to do everything I'd do but I do want the basics done.

OP have you come home to a squat or is it a bit messy, have the dishes been done, laundry sorted, hoovering? That is the basics I'd say or does it look like the morning after a frat party?

When a dh goes away for the weekend (football, golf, sailing, whatever) does he find the house a tip ready for him to clean it up?

Is the dh not an adult?

You should expect to find the house in the same state of tidyness as when you left.

Housework would depend how often things are done. Obviously laundry, washing up and bins should have been kept on top off, but I wouldn't necessarily dust, vacuum or clean the bathroom in that timescale, so might not consider it necessary.

Whether you have been away for business or please is irrelevant.

Thecatsbollocks. So if that is the case lots of small children, how on earth is OP able to sort it out when she gets back?

Are you trying to insult men? Are you trying to say men are not able to clear up, but she will be just fine doing it?

Very very odd attitude from people saying if it was a jolly she is bu.

If I went away on a girls weekend doing whatever and DH stayed at home looking after the dc I wouldn't expect him to do much around the house I'd rather he do stuff with the dc.

Well it completely depends on the ages of the people in the house and what they have been doing while you've been away.

My house is an absolute tip at the moment. I am struggling as dh is away for several weeks and I am not used to doing it all on my own.

I, for example, would not expect spotlessness (never happens even when I am in charge), just basic level of maintenance: I'd expect the dh to have looked after himself and his children and the mess they all made, not a total spring clean!

Oh calm down Charlie. I'm not insulting anyone if you read my posts.
The OP asked if she was being unreasonable and ungrateful remember?