To think that when I've been away for the weekend ...

[CocktailQueen]

I would prefer that some housework and tidying was done, so the house doesn't look like shit when I get home, instead of a bunch of 'welcome home' flowers?? Or Aibu and ungrateful??

It doesn't matter what I was doing or where I went, if I go away I expect to come home and find the house in the same state I left it.

I'm not expecting spotless, but I would expect people to not leave things where they've dropped it, put stuff in the dishwasher, put the Hoover over, etc.

It's a bone of contention in our house too, I went away for the weekend a couple of weeks ago, I came home to a sink full of dirty washing up, crap everywhere that no one had put away, the school uniform that I'd put through the washing machine before I left and asked DH to hang out still sitting in the washing machine, empty beer cans and sweet wrappers everywhere, Saturday's Chinese takeaway still sitting in the kitchen, etc

To say I was deeply unimpressed would be an understatement. A bunch of flowers would have been rammed up his arse. Sideways.

He's not usually stuck in some 1950s time warp so I'm not sure why he's such an arse about this

If I left a clean house and came back to a dirty one, I'd be a bit miffed and wouldn't tidy it because I wasn't there to make the mess. Especially with DC old enough to tidy after themselves to a degree.

Though from your OP I thought you'd come back to a bombsite and your family had just lay around demanding you do everything. YANBU but YAB a bit OTT

Stinkle you win. I would have been fuming. What did you do??

I had a whopping great strop, flounced and got in the bath.

When I came back down it was looking a bit more reasonable.

Gosh, I have four teenagers aged between 13 and 18, I would be happy with them being fed, done their homework and being fully prepared for going back to school on Monday. Oh, and enough food in the house for breakfast and packed lunch stuff.

Hoovering, doing the laundry and housework would be a complete bonus. In fact I think I would get all emotional about it!

That probably goes against the grain but Mr FFF works long hours, does TA some weekends and then is also on-call every other weekend. It would be his weekend as well, so potentially he would be knackered for work on Monday if he did "everything".

The kids are quite well trained, they have all stripped and changed their own beds since the age of three. They organise their clothes on "days of the week hangers" so their uniform for the day is all on one hanger. They also dust and polish their own rooms once a week. They all load and empty the dishwasher if I need them to.

So potentially I would be left with hoovering, dusting, bathrooms and kitchen. No big deal for me really. Oh and the laundry, no drama really.

FFF x

Maybe you need to spell it out that next time you go away you want to come back to a tidy home. My mum used to instill in us that when she went away she did not expect a pristine house but the place has been given a quick hoover, dust and the washing up done.

I am by the number if people that think that their DH and dcs are clearly incapable of going any day to day cleaning. I imagine that these posters are the same people who are solely responsible if all the he and parenting in their house. :(

OP I think you are right to not have been impressed. I would go as far as saying that your DH knew he should have done a minimum if tidying. Why would he have bothered with the flowers otherwise?

As far as I am concerned, I think very highly if my DH which I believe he us able to

• plan ahead for some cooking/shopping do he and his dcs don't starve
• is able to find the right place for daily items in the house, ie dishes in the dishwasher, rubbish in the bin. That sort of thing.

And most importantly I see us as a team where each parent is able to step up to cover what the other does by hat means I can take a car to the garage for an MzoT and DH can cook/tidy for the weekend. I mean, if, god forbid, something was happening to me and he was on his own looking after the house and dcs, I am sure he would manage and know how to do it. So why not now? As for the teenage dcs, they should know better!