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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

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Original poster

To think Jamelia is a nut job

124 replies

Boudica1990 · 11/06/2014 13:10

Loose Women today, Jamelia has decided in her wisdom that breast feeding should be compulsory.

WTAF?!

Pretty sure women should be able to dictate what they do with their own breasts!!!

Yes we all know breast feeding is better, but some choose and I emphasise CHOOSE to formula feed, and you know what's that's fine also, but can you really force women to use their body in a way they just simply don't want to??

OP posts:

Joolsy · 11/06/2014 13:16

I am very pro-breastfeeding however if it was compulsory it would just be yet another pressure on new mums and added stress to think they could be in trouble if they don't do it. I struggled b/f with DD1 and nearly gave up but got there in the end. Took quite a while though so I can totally understand why some women can't for whatever reason.

Joolsy · 11/06/2014 13:17

So no YANBU and it seemed lots of people thought the same!

WeeClype · 11/06/2014 13:18

Total nut job, most of her opinions on the topics are stupid.

She once said that she grew up with a mother that never worked so the government should've gave them a little more money so her mum could take her on holiday

TurtleyAmazing · 11/06/2014 13:18

I think one of the major flaws with that idea is the fact that not every woman can breastfeed.

but to answer your question, no a woman shouldn't be forced to breastfeed if she doesn't want to.

I do beleive that more women should give it a go though. I have friends that won't so much as consider it because they feel its 'weird' and that they will hate it. but how do they know unless they try it?

my friend who is 36 weeks pregnant has explained she is 'physically repulsed' by breastfeeding. I must admitt i wasn't jumping up and down in excitement at the idea of breastfeeding and in fact didn't much like the idea at all but i wasn't going to write it off without trying it first.

I'm now almost 7 months in and still exclusively breastfeeding and would encourage any new mother to at least try it. they may be suprised at how it doesnt feel weird/sexual/wrong in anyway. but again they wont know this unless they try for themselves.

SofaCanary · 11/06/2014 13:19

She is one of the most ignorant people on the TV, that combined with her arrogant sanctimony makes my blood boil whenever I hear her stumble over her ill chosen words.

She should stick to 'modeling' or singing, or just being the perfect parent she so clearly is and get the fuck off my television

Mumof3xox · 11/06/2014 13:19

I think I heard bits of this
Was she calling it selfish ?

TurtleyAmazing · 11/06/2014 13:19

sorry got a bit side tracked there!

anyway YANBU.

MisForMumNotMaid · 11/06/2014 13:20

She didn't come across as having actually thought before speaking. She did try to backtrack a bit with Coleen I thought.

DS1 couldn't suckle. I tried and tried, he lost lots of weight. Then I express fed. Both my others breast fed. With DS1 the suckle issues weren't actually ever properly diagnosed or fully recognised until he couldn't use an any way up cup at a year old. So should I have been flung in jail without an exemption from breastfeeding certificate?

Silly, silly, damaging, pressurising, unnecessary, ill thought out, unfortunately broadcast comments.

MrsWinnibago · 11/06/2014 13:21

turtley there's no "believing that more should give it a go" The friends you speak about KNOW that they won't want to do it...they feel uncomfortable about it..so why SHOULD they try it ffs? I'm one of those women. I don't want to go into drawn out details about it but I KNOW I would not like it. So I don't "give it a go".

If I did try it as you so helpfully suggest, I would be very unhappy and uncomfortable. So butt out.

CrohnicallyHungry · 11/06/2014 13:22

Not to mention that there are some woman/baby pairs that really cannot physically breastfeed for whatever reason. And that reason isn't always obvious, so it's not a case of 'well, they'll be medically exempt'.

Some reasons are easy to spot- double mastectomy, insufficient glandular tissue, prematurity.

Others are less black and white- for example if the mother takes medication or has HIV then the pros and cons of breastfeeding need to be seriously considered. Or some babies have tongue tie that affects their feeding, but health professionals are not very good at spotting them (except for the very obvious ones), and some don't believe that it can cause problems.

SofaCanary · 11/06/2014 13:22

Yes, she called women who choose not to BF, 'selfish'.

She also helpfully compared babies to puppies, saying how it would be considered cruel for the puppy to be taken away from the mother's milk.

What a fucking ignoramus she is!

bendydickcumonmybaps · 11/06/2014 13:24

I Think she is an idiot...she had to backtrack quite alot though as the others were having none of her ignorant crap.

Mumof3xox · 11/06/2014 13:24

Well that makes me selfish then!

LemonSquares · 11/06/2014 13:25

I bf all mine but YANBU.

Some of my firends couldn't due to medical reasons and some of my family members didn't even want to try. Why force anyone when it's not right for them.

I hate all this demonising - form both sides. If they want more bf mothers then they need to offer practical support becuase IME there are so many bf motehr who stop before they want to for problms that it possible could have been got passed with support.

TheFairyCaravan · 11/06/2014 13:26

She actually said breast feeding should be compulsory unless there was a reason why you are incapable!

I don't think she puts her mind in gear before she opens her mouth a lot of the time. She annoys the hell out of me and I wish they'd get rid!

Mumof3xox · 11/06/2014 13:26

Imagine how depressing that would be

Like being a bloody cow

Original poster

Boudica1990 · 11/06/2014 13:27

I'm glad I'm not the only one who thinks she's crazy!!

I honestly am of the opinion the majority mothers do what's best for them and their baby, and if the anxiety and worry of breast feeding is going to hinder a baby mother relationship then don't do it. It's.not selfish, people who hate rollercoaster don't go boarding them Willy nilly, there not out to spoil the rest of the group's fun they just fear it and don't want to go on the rollercoaster!!

OP posts:

MrsAlexVause · 11/06/2014 13:28

Didn't see it but she sounds like a dick! Is she the one that sang Superstar?

MrFMercury · 11/06/2014 13:30

Ah shit.
Well, I wasn't allowed to breast feed because of a congenital bone disease and issues around calcium absorption and spine fractures. Mind you she sounds like the sort of person who would say I shouldn't have had kids in the first place. But I did and they are awesome.

bloominbumpy · 11/06/2014 13:32

She's an idiot..

But I do think that its all a bit silly anyway.. I can't personally understand not wanting to breastfeed its an old saying but it is the most natural thing. Once upon a time that was the ONLY way to feed your child.

But at the end of it all if the child is healthy and eating then why does it matter? Its much like the idea floating around that women would be rewarded for breastfeeding! Im very pro bf for MYSELF but would never judge another for not doing it and certainly don't think they should be penalised. I just don't understand not doing it if that makes sense but thats only because I want to..

MoominAndMiniMoom · 11/06/2014 13:32

Oh wow, what an idiot.

One of my reasons for formula feeding isn't selfish, the other is. The first is that my baby wouldn't latch on. We tried nipple shields, we tried every position going - she just didn't want to latch, and was getting distressed and very hungry (24 hours without feeding, bless her) when I'd finally had enough and said right, formula it is.

The selfish reason is that I have medical issues causing a lot of pain, so I want to be able to take whatever painkillers and tablets I need (starting new medication next week which will almost certainly not be BF-friendly), so that I can function as a good mum. I'd rather be formula-feeding and able to get up with her, change her, play with her, rather than be breast-feeding but be too wiped out by pain to do anything other than lie in bed all day.

No doubt there'll be people who say "Well I'd put myself in pain to breastfeed my baby, and it's just a case of persevering with the breastfeeding to sort the latch", but to that I say - good for you. But I love my baby too much to risk her starving and having a mum who's never around because she can't get out of bed.

Mumof3xox · 11/06/2014 13:32

I think so mrs

RedTractorBlueTractor · 11/06/2014 13:37

Didn't see it but she sounds like a dick! Is she the one that sang Superstar?

Yes she is

Amilionmilesaway · 11/06/2014 13:40

I couldn't feed DS1. I tried and struggled and got upset. Was a total shock as I'd never even anticpated this might happen.

I didn't even try with DS2 - I had no intention of putting either of us through that. If anyone had tried to make me or guilt trip me they would have been sorry. They didn't though, because most people are nice and reasonable.

Couldn't care less what Jamelia thinks.

SybilRamkin · 11/06/2014 13:43

She's not too bright and is obviously pretty ignorant, so I'd ignore her.

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