to ask for help on my SPIDER EMERGENCY?

[softlysoftly]

DDs are in bed, I'm 36wk pg and exhausted.

DD1 awake still DD2 a light sleeper. There is a MASSIVE spider on their floor which keeps going under the bed then ip onto the duvet and under again.

WTF do I do, I hate them I can't catch it. I could try and hoover it but then DD1 will know and her mattress is onffloor (trying out room sharing and I can't lift her frame) and she also hates them so won't sleep. Also DD2 will wake and she's a nightmare to get to sleep.

But can I ignore it, it's going to do a spidery bastard climb on my babies

Arrgghhh

Oh god, This is one of my worse nightmares...a spider on my babies and I have to deal with it or let them...which I couldn't.

Your in between a rock and a hard place.

The hoover is too noisey, what about throwing something on it, but this has to be done carefully as there is a risk you could make it airborne and fly it somewhere at super speed...possibly even towards yourself...

Spray sounds good as does cake tin.

Hairspray awesome idea.

Airborne why WHY would you make me think of that.

Ok I'm going in

It is going up the duvet . I'm horrified on your behalf.

I generally try not to kill them can you not get a glass on it?

If not, just murder it till it's dead then murder it again. With anything...hairspray? A big book? A small fire???

Distract awake DD with an alleged unicorn sighting before starting the fire obvs.

You could even tie something around the top of the boots to be sure.

Do you have a biohazard suit?

A sieve can be used as a face protector

Hairspray does work, it sort of freezes them and they are squashable.

On the floor? Twat it with a sweeping brush?

Airborne why WHY would you make me think of that

So you don't make it go ariborne and shock the life out of you as it shoots towards you.

I did this with the hugest blackest spider known to English shores...It was the start of my grey hair, put it that way.

Good Luck OP.

Yes a sieve could work. Sauce pan for a hat? In case of an airborne emergency?

Why hasn't softly been back. Do you think it...got her?

One ran out from under the bath while I was on the loo. I screamed like a girl and no longer needed to strain (TMI ). DP lost the bastard (how?? It was 2 foot wide FFS). It's been two days now and I can no longer enjoy my puzzle book whilst 'resting' as I know it's lurking. You have my sympathy OP. I have a betterware spider catcher, but I'm too scared of the big black ones to use it on them!

Lynx does not do the same thing as hairspray it just PISSES THEM OFF.

Back soon.

Can of hairspray. Lighter. Voila: Homemade mini flame thrower. I used to use this 'technique' to eradicate cockroaches in Australia.

(You may want to consider elf n safety prior to using this in a room containing your sleeping children. )

Seriously, I sympathise. Fucking hate the things. I can't even Dyson them up as they have to travel past my hand up the tube.

Can you not get a big glass and bit of cardboard to slide under? I used to be terrified of spiders as well but then one day had no choice but to use that method and realised it's not half as bad as I thought it would be.

OMG Lynx??! Epic fail, OP.

You now have a very fucked off spider which is high on fumes but smells great

How big is it? ( not very helpful, sorry )

Lynx pisses everybody off!! Spiders are obviously as discerning as humans in some ways.

A spider will not hurt your children; at worst it may tickle ... why would you want to kill a totally harmless - if not exactly attractive - small animal in various horrible ways?

It's a scientific fact that the "Lynx Effect" only works on girls aged between 12-14. It has no effect whatsoever on arachnids