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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

AIBU to stop dd doing to this?

72 replies

PickledPineapple · 02/05/2014 20:18

Dd has been invited to go on a helicopter ride tomorrow morning, with a friend who she was scheduled to see later in the day.

gran has just had a stroke and is returning from hospital tonight. Dd knew that her visit to the friend would have to fit in with visiting gran, dd absolutely fine with this as she loves her gran and wants to visit.

Then we got the text from her friend about the helicopter... I am massively anxious about small aircraft of any type and would hate a family member to go up in one!

I know that I shouldn't let anxiety lead my dd to missing out on things, but AIBU on this occasion to say that she is only free later in the day? This is the truth, but I feel guilty that it's quite convenient that we are busy, as I don't want her to go.

AIBU?

OP posts:
Coldlightofday · 02/05/2014 20:20

This reply has been deleted

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

Original poster
PickledPineapple · 02/05/2014 20:22

12

OP posts:
PaperPomPom · 02/05/2014 20:23

Is it actually inconvenient?

Original poster
PickledPineapple · 02/05/2014 20:24

Yes. she would miss dance class and the visit to gran.

OP posts:
AnythingNotEverything · 02/05/2014 20:25

Only you know whether it's actually inconvenient.

AnythingNotEverything · 02/05/2014 20:25

... Sorry, and therefore whether you're being unreasonable. I can't help you.

ChazzerChaser · 02/05/2014 20:26

Pickled , I'd do what you want to for much the same reasons. I can see it's problematic, but it's the truth.

gamerchick · 02/05/2014 20:27

Why in earth would you put a block on something as exciting as a helicopter ride? Seriously.

PaperPomPom · 02/05/2014 20:28

What Anything said - it either is or isn't inconvenient.

If you're asking whether or not you could use Gran as an excuse as you don't like it then YABU - it's pretty irrational.

Original poster
PickledPineapple · 02/05/2014 20:28

Gamer, did you read my OP?

OP posts:
thebodydoestricks · 02/05/2014 20:29

Oh feel for you op. I fight daily with my anxieties over my dcs. Difficult one. Your call. X

Original poster
PickledPineapple · 02/05/2014 20:30

Not using gran as an excuse- it's genuine. It doesn't seem right to day to gran that dd couldn't come as she had a last minute invitation...but equally, some people obviously see it as an amazing opportunity. So...it's a genuine dilemma.

OP posts:
ThinkIveBeenHacked · 02/05/2014 20:30

A helicopter ride is much more exciting to a twelve year old than a dance class or a visit to a poorly relative.

YABU.

gamerchick · 02/05/2014 20:30

Yes I did and if you want to stop your child having what would probably be a one off and something she'll talk about for ages.. at least have the guts not to use an excuse because you don't want her to go for your own personal reasons.

Own your shit.

Coldlightofday · 02/05/2014 20:31

This reply has been deleted

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

TenMinutesEarly · 02/05/2014 20:31

let her go, take her to gran on sunday

Original poster
PickledPineapple · 02/05/2014 20:31

Thanks body :)
I'm usually ok but I just hate small air craft!

OP posts:
IamInvisible · 02/05/2014 20:32

If there was anyway that I could get her there I would let her go.

My DC (now 17&19) went up in a Chinook helicopter when they were younger, it is still up there with one of the most exciting things they have done.

Coldlightofday · 02/05/2014 20:32

This reply has been deleted

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

Wantsunshine · 02/05/2014 20:33

Please don't let your DD miss out on this. Could she see her Gran on Sunday. It would cheer her Gran up to hear about her exciting day

QuizzicalCat · 02/05/2014 20:33

I think it would be very unreasonable to allow YOUR fears to hold your daughter back.

This chance is unlikely to come again any time soon, but dance class will be there next week. Couldn't you see gran later or earlier (or again on Sunday)?

She's far safer in a helicopter than in a car.

What does your dd want to do?

Quoteunquote · 02/05/2014 20:34

Nope, helicopter rides are special, gran will not miss her for the few hours it takes,

So be happy for her, and use the free time to concentrate on grandma, it will be something to talk about as a distraction, just look for the good.

Original poster
PickledPineapple · 02/05/2014 20:35

Cold, it's both. It's not a lie. We can't go to gran realistically on Sunday too, as it's quite a drive. And gran us expecting us tomorrow.

Let's remove the anxiety from the equation. Let's suppose I love helicopters. Should she not see gran cos she's had a better offer? Is that right? I'm not 'not owning my shit'...it's a genuine dilemma, honestly :)

OP posts:
IamInvisible · 02/05/2014 20:38

If my DC were offered this chance, none of their grandparents would expect them to turn it down in favour of visiting them. It's not like she is not going to see her Gran over a trip to Primark!

DowntonTrout · 02/05/2014 20:39

I think you should ask your DD what she would rather do. She is old enough to understand and make those decisions.

If gran has just come out of hospital she will be tired and it may be better for you to go alone anyway.

A helicopter ride is a major excitement. No one can promise it is completely safe, but then neither is walking down the street or getting into a car. I took 2 of my DCs for a ride in one when I was 5 months pregnant.

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