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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

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Original poster

AIBU to stop dd doing to this?

72 replies

PickledPineapple · 02/05/2014 20:18

Dd has been invited to go on a helicopter ride tomorrow morning, with a friend who she was scheduled to see later in the day.

gran has just had a stroke and is returning from hospital tonight. Dd knew that her visit to the friend would have to fit in with visiting gran, dd absolutely fine with this as she loves her gran and wants to visit.

Then we got the text from her friend about the helicopter... I am massively anxious about small aircraft of any type and would hate a family member to go up in one!

I know that I shouldn't let anxiety lead my dd to missing out on things, but AIBU on this occasion to say that she is only free later in the day? This is the truth, but I feel guilty that it's quite convenient that we are busy, as I don't want her to go.

AIBU?

OP posts:

ZenNudist · 03/05/2014 10:17

Yabu, helicopter ride is an experience worth having. Let her do it.

Mrsjayy · 03/05/2014 10:19

tbh i think you are thinking it is inconvenient because you are terrified don't blame you really I would be sweating at the thought, she can see her Gran any time and go to dance class next week if your daughter wants to go in the helicopter let her

Ohbyethen · 03/05/2014 10:37

Helicopter.

I would rearrange her visit to gran and then let her tell her nan about her amazing experience. I struggled with my own dc straight out of hospital tbh and I imagine she'll be quite tired so your dd may not get the quality time this visit.
It's a 2 hour drive to visit my gps, it was 45 minutes before my grandfather needed to have a sleep, the onslaught was a lot to cope with while recuperating.
I think even a very reasonable 12 year old would be a bit resentful to miss out in order to do one dance class and then mostly drive with you both with not much gran time.

nonameisgoodname · 03/05/2014 10:41

When I was 17 I was given a flying lesson as a birthday present. The day before the lesson my gran broke her hip. My parents wanted me to miss the lesson because of that.

I didn't in the end but was SO angry at my parents for wanting me to. Let her go and she can see gran and have dancing another time.

harriet247 · 03/05/2014 10:41

I woyld let her go in the helicopter, it will be a fantastic experience! She mught not ever have to opportunity to do it again and im sire her nana would hate for her to miss it.

tigermoll · 03/05/2014 12:33

Whatever you do, don't lie to her and pretend you'd be happy for her to go in the helicopter, only she can't because it's 'not convenient'.

Slightly different, but my mother missed my seventh birthday because she was on holiday with my father who was working abroad. She came back on the day (I was staying with friends for ten days) but didn't come to pick me up till the evening due to jet lag. I was a bit upset that she'd missed my birthday, and she said 'I couldn't have come back any earlier. It was either that or not go at all.' I felt really guilty at the time for suggesting she shouldn't have gone, but looking back I can see it was UTTER NONSENSE that she couldn't have come back the preceding day. When I think about it, I still get annoyed even though I'm (ostensibly) a grown up.

Your daughter will work out when she's a bit older that she could have gone on the helicopter ride, and you stopped her for some reason. She may not be happy about that.

BuilderMammy · 03/05/2014 12:39

A helicopter ride is a once in a lifetime opportunity for most people. I wouldn't prevent either of mine from doing it. Whether or not you're scared of it is irrelevant.

HavantGuard · 03/05/2014 12:43

How many times in her life has she had the chance of a helicopter ride?

Why not arrange for her to stay with her friend and you go to see her gran?

whois · 03/05/2014 14:21

It's an amazing opportunity. Let her go, she can visit gran on Sunday or next week and tell her all about it!

Edendance · 03/05/2014 18:13

I think you need to let her go. It definitly sounds like you want to have the Gran excuse because you don't want to be blamed for cancelling the trip unecessarily and I don't think it's fair tbh...

Let her have her ride, it might do all of you good

MammaTJ · 03/05/2014 18:40

I hope you let her go.

One of the best experiences of my life was going to the Top Gear open day at Silverstone and going up in one of the helicopters.

thegreylady · 03/05/2014 18:44

What does she want to do? It is a real one-off experience. I'd find a way to let her go.

letsgomaths · 04/05/2014 08:46

Let her go. Your dd will be radiantly happy about it afterwards. This is an opportunity which is very rare indeed.

I can only imagine how I would have treated my own parents at that age if they'd stopped me doing something so amazing, for the sake of something that could be done another time. I might have kept on reminding them about it for years to come.

letsgomaths · 04/05/2014 08:49

If you do make your DD visit gran instead of going on her ride, she is likely to be very distracted, and be very resentful about where she is, instead of where she could be. Everybody loses.

RufusTheReindeer · 04/05/2014 10:11

I would let her go, it's quite a rare opportunity

I let my 13 skydive out of a plane on holiday...I was not a happy bunny until he was safely back on the ground, so I understand your fear (if not the extent of it IYSWIM)

tiggytape · 04/05/2014 10:21

This reply has been deleted

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

OTheHugeManatee · 04/05/2014 10:33

OTheHugeManatee · 04/05/2014 10:34

Sorry, OP In all seriousness, this is a fab opportunity and though gran is unwell and anxieties can be very overwhelming I think YWBU to stop her.

kali110 · 04/05/2014 10:45

Ahhh let her go, what a fantastic opportunity and this is coming from someone with extreme anxiety!

EvaBeaversProtege · 04/05/2014 12:05

Did she go?

MammaTJ · 04/05/2014 15:24

Come back and tell us OP!

Theodorous · 04/05/2014 18:07

How did it get to 3 pages before helicopter parent was mentioned! Not commenting on the Aibu as it is one where the op asks, everyone says you are and they bugger off and do it anyway.

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