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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

To think that my mum is an appalling cook?

144 replies

NeonMuffin · 17/03/2014 16:16

Growing up I was a very fussy eater and there was a lot that I wouldn't eat. I didn't touch any greens or veg, only boiled potatoes that kind of thing. It was only as I got older and started eating out etc that I realised it wasn't that I didn't like these things it was that my mum is a terrible cook.

I know that sounds mean, but it's true she never cookers anything properly. An example is when she makes a roast dinner she will boil the veg for up to an hour until it's turned to mush and tastes of nothing. Everything goes on for an hour, cauliflower, broccoli and she boils carrots until the water goes orange. Meat is not cooked unless it's cremated. A favourite of hers is to cook her meat the day before, then serve it freezing cold with hot gravy over the top (boak). It's just disgusting.

The problem is she keeps asking me around for tea and I know it will be a roast and the thought of if just turns my stomach so I keep rebuffing her but can't forever. Short of upsetting her and causing offence by telling the truth I don't know what else to do?

AIBU?

OP posts:
WorraLiberty · 17/03/2014 16:19

Haha! I realised the same when I left home.

It's not that I didn't like veg, I just didn't like it stewed.

If my Mum were alive today, she'd be sticking the sprouts on so they're done in time for Christmas Grin

CoffeeTea103 · 17/03/2014 16:19

How very ungrateful of you to come here and bitch about your mother.

whois · 17/03/2014 16:21

Invite her round to yours instead? Accept the invite but say you'll take something to 'treat' her?

EyelinerQueen · 17/03/2014 16:21

DP's Dad is the same.

Meat (all meat) is microwaved from frozen then put under the grill for 40 minutes until the texture of a burnt car tyre.

Veg is cooked for an hour until mush.

Everything is cooked from frozen - absolutely nothing is fresh. It's pretty disgusting.

We are limited contact with him (that's a whole other thread) but when DP does go to visit with DD he insists on going out to eat. He cannot stomach the food his dad cooks and certainly wouldn't subject DD to it.

You have my sympathies OP.

MonstrousPippin · 17/03/2014 16:22

There was a bit of a lack of range at our house. I don't think I ate boiled potatoes for about 10 years after leaving home. I felt like I'd had enough for my entire lifetime. Smile

NettoSuperstar · 17/03/2014 16:22

Can you offer to cook for her, or treat her to a meal out?
The food sounds grim btw.

runningonwillpower · 17/03/2014 16:23

It's just one meal. How bad can it be?

You are still a fussy eater if you are putting one meal ahead of your mum's feelings and time with her.

Just choke down the dinner and enjoy time with your mum.

WorraLiberty · 17/03/2014 16:25

Monstrous we had potatoes with every single dinner!

I was so happy when my sister (10yrs older than me) learnt to cook spag bol.

Mind you, my Mum and Dad wouldn't touch it Grin

EyelinerQueen · 17/03/2014 16:25

The only spuds my FIL cooks are the ones from a tin Hmm

mrssnodge · 17/03/2014 16:28

My DM is a bad cook, everything tastes the same, and she makes 'a bit dinner' with anything - not even meat- pasties and cabbage anyone?? seriously, ,no herbs, spices, not even salt and pepper, tuna sandwich is tuna straight out the tin mushed onto bread- yak! lasagna was boiled mince with tinned toms boiled to death and layered between pasta sheets! she watches me cook, says ooh thats a faff, i cant be bothered with all those ingrediants,- err - thats why it tastes nice and yrs is rank-! She invites me and Dp and we always have an excuse tho she does come to ours regularly!I do love her, but not her cooking!!

LadyMacbethWasMisunderstood · 17/03/2014 16:30

I love tinned potatoes! Could eat them like sweets.

OP- your mother's food sounds dreadful. I second cooking for her instead.

TheBody · 17/03/2014 16:32

tell her

'look mum I love you to bits but let's face it great as you are in many ways, you are a crap cook'

then treat her to lunch.

stop dicking around.

she probably will tell you that you are/were a fussy little cow who she couldn't please.

you will both have a laugh!

them you will both know where you stand.Grin

HillyHolbrook · 17/03/2014 16:34

Are you sure you aren't DPs long lost sister?

His mum is the worst cook, and his DF likes her shit cooking so she just won't use any herbs, any dressing other than butter, and she slices up chunks of lard and slaps it on meat to stop her roasts drying out. Lard?! Hmm

She went into shock that I've managed to 'make' her son eat vegetables. I don't just steam them for 45 minutes and serve them plain. It was quite fun sitting him down with different foods and seeing if he actually hated them or if he just hates how she does them. Poor dear is gutted that her DS doesn't want to come home for his mums vile Sunday dinners like she always imaginedWink

balenciaga · 17/03/2014 16:36

urgh sounds like mil although tbf we only tend to have sunday dinner type dinners there

but they are BAD. watery gravy tough meat, veg boiled to mush, frozen roast potatoes, Yorkshire puds etc not properly cooked...eww eww ewww :(

ninah · 17/03/2014 16:38

I am a crap cook and happily admit it. If I could afford to I'd never do it. Offer to take her out, she might be relieved?

mrstigs · 17/03/2014 16:41

My mum only made three things from scratch. Spag bol, chilli and chicken curry. Problem was she used to get mixed up with what she was making half way through which led to some interesting concoctions. Spag bol with kidney beans, chicken curry with pasta, chilli with raisins in. Confused
She also cooked things for weeks before serving, even after I bought her a steamer to try and help. We once went for Sunday lunch and she had put the sugersnap peas on to cook before we even arrived. They were steamed for about 40 minutes I think. Mmmmmm soupy! Shock

Poppylovescheese · 17/03/2014 16:43

I recently realised exactly the same thing Shock

Original poster
NeonMuffin · 17/03/2014 16:44

I have cooked for her. The problem is my mum is actually a very fussy eater herself and doesn't eat most of the things she cooks so she doesn't know how thing should taste. I'm sure if she tried broccoli cooked properly and not stewed she'd probably like it but I can't seem to get it through to her.

I've made suggestions about cooking things for less time but she doesn't listen and just says "that's how your dad likes it". Thing is he never eats a full meal at home but when I cook for them he ways clears his plate...

Last time I went around she'd cooked the roasters for so long they were actually black and tasted burned. I tried to make a joke and said " blimey theses are well done" and she jumped down my throat with the "that's how your dad likes them" line.

OP posts:
5Foot5 · 17/03/2014 16:45

What happens when you invite her round to your house for a meal and serve the food the way you like it. Does she comment?

hellokittymania · 17/03/2014 16:48

I made "biscuits with hair" for my mother and she gagged Grin

I gave up trying to learn to cook after that and I still can't cook. :(

We lived in the US and all you had to do was put ready made cookie dough on foil and put them in the oven....

DidoTheDodo · 17/03/2014 16:50

Gosh, you don't sound awfully nice. Your poor mum is doing her best and you don't want to go and see her because you might get some overcooked potatoes?

She can't have done such a bad job as you obviously grew up and are thriving.

Take the poor woman out to lunch. Often.

Original poster
NeonMuffin · 17/03/2014 16:58

She always eat everything when I cook yes. The thing is she only eats roast potatoes and carrots, so I've never managed to get her to taste what broccoli or cauliflower tastes like when it's not boiled for an hour.

I don't know what's wrong with criticising your mums cooking BTW?She's a great my, just isn't very good at cooking.

She also does the very watery gravy, usually bisto.

OP posts:
DidoTheDodo · 17/03/2014 17:02

You keep not going to see her because of her cooking. That's the problem as I see it.

alemci · 17/03/2014 17:07

your dad must be very mellow and kind. my family mosly my dh always comment if my meals are not great

Sunnymeg · 17/03/2014 17:09

My lovely mum also cooks everything for far too long. She grew up during the war and I think they did cook everything to death in those days as they couldn't tell where things came from. My mum just does the same as my Gran did. I learnt to cook by following Delia's complete cookery courses.It was a revelation to discover I actually liked certain things when I cooked them. My dad would cover almost every meal in pepper to add a bit of taste.