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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

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Original poster

AIBU to be livid about this (school dinners)

83 replies

NoonarAgain · 07/03/2014 10:19

Dd had her braces fitted yesterday and is really, really struggling to eat. I rang up the school dinner provider to ask if they could waive the 7 day in advance booking for school dinners, as it was an extenuating circumstance( school dinners here are always very soft/ mushy, which is usually a disadvantage but would suit dds braces). I was given a whole load of officious bullshit about exact numbers, low availability of food and how my dd would be depriving another child if they sold me a meal for Monday. They said they could only sell me a dinner for Wednesday FFs!

They were so jobs worthy about the whole thing, it made me SO mad. I asked to speak to someone senior who had the authority to make an exception. They just repeated what their colleague had said but eventually agreed to call head office.

I have just had a call back and they have agreed to feed my dd as a massive one off favour to us.

So the problem is solved, but my blood is still boiling! AIBU to think that I shouldn't have had to argue with 2 people and make 3 phone calls to arrange school dinners for next week? Their attitude was about as far from child centred as you could possibly get. AIBU to be appalled by this?

OP posts:

Cigarettesandsmirnoff · 07/03/2014 10:21

Did dd usually have school dinners?

sparechange · 07/03/2014 10:23

So despite having a clear policy in place, which gives parents a pretty good degree of flexibility, and you presumably knowing weeks in advance that she was having braces fitted, and despite them bending their policy for you, you are livid that they didn't move heaven and earth on the first call, to save you having to make your DD suitable food?

God help them if they serve food which isn't mushy enough.

YABU, and not being arsed to help her with a soft/mushy lunch is pretty far from child-centred parenting, IMO...

Original poster

NoonarAgain · 07/03/2014 10:23

We have an account with them and have had dinners on and off for years. It's just that they have an order a week in advance system.

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Original poster

NoonarAgain · 07/03/2014 10:25

Sparechange, I'd be very happy to hear about packed lunch ideas that are not chewy. Do you have any suggestions?

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NorthernLassie724 · 07/03/2014 10:26

Are you not able to make a packed lunch using soft foods? What will you do if the food they serve is not mushy enough?!

Original poster

NoonarAgain · 07/03/2014 10:27

Northern, it's the amount of chewing involved that is the problem.

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Original poster

NoonarAgain · 07/03/2014 10:29

The food will be mushy. It's always mushy as it is something called steam cuisine that is microwaved like a giant ready meal. I work in a school with the same provider so I know what the food is like.

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NorthernLassie724 · 07/03/2014 10:29

So give her a lunch that doesn't involve much chewing...

Seriously though, I realise that although on most days a school canteen will have something mushier than you could provide in a packed lunch but what if they don't?! What would you do then? Seems like a gamble to me.

pancakesfortea · 07/03/2014 10:30

Unless they are a very small school dealing with very small numbers that does sound a bit inflexible. Ours just have to say at morning registration whether they are having a school dinner. There must surely be the odd kid off sick?

sparechange · 07/03/2014 10:30

Off the top of my head, a thermos/flask of soup
A pot of Cous cous or rice salads, pasta salad, macaroni salad
Yoghurt, smoothie, soft banana
I'm sure the time you spent bellowing down the phone could have been used to think of some other things

YoureAShoe · 07/03/2014 10:32

Seriously wow you don't sound entitled at all.
You could've sent her with soup, jelly pots, soft fruit, egg mayo sandwiches, salad bits, skips, rice, over cooked pasta and sauce.
I had braces, you find out a fair while in advance, I was squeezed in for the following week - totally skipping the queue because they had a cancellation whilst I was there.

For the future, every time she has them tightened she'll struggle to eat for a day or two so order some school meals for her if you still can't manage to make soft foods.

Original poster

NoonarAgain · 07/03/2014 10:32

Sorry northern xposted... As I see the meals on a daily basis, I know that they are are always mushy. In the same way as a microwave lasagne is always mushy. So with this insider knowledge I'm not taking a gamble :)

What could I put in a packed lunch that has minimal chewing involved? My mind is a blank!

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TheProsAndConsOfHitchhiking · 07/03/2014 10:33

Banana, Yoghurt, Soft bread with egg mayo, tuna mayo etc. There are plenty options of 'soft' food for a packed lunch.

Yabu to be livid with anyone over your lack of organisation as you knew when the braces were going to be fitted and should have planned ahead.

SDTGisAnEvilWolefGenius · 07/03/2014 10:34

My ds had braces fitted, and the only foods he couldn't eat were really crunchy things - like the crackling from the pork joint. He couldn't eat an apple by biting into the whole thing, but could eat apple slices.

Other than that, I don't think we adapted our diet at all, so maybe you are worrying about nothing, and your dd would be fine with a sandwich (cut the crusts off if you are really worried, but I wouldn't think it would be necessary, going on our experience, and what our orthodontist advised).

Pasta salad would be easy for her to eat, as would the things sparechange suggests.

NorthernLassie724 · 07/03/2014 10:34

Did you honestly not know (or were not told) that dd would have sore teeth? It does seem that you were pretty ill-prepared for this and have maybe taken it out on the dinner provider because they were initially unwilling to help you out of a situation that good planning and common sense could have avoided.

Original poster

NoonarAgain · 07/03/2014 10:35

There are 400 children in the school, pancakes.

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MidniteScribbler · 07/03/2014 10:36

Are you not planning on feeding your child at home at any point? Or is the school expected to provide food for your home as well?

LineRunner · 07/03/2014 10:36

When my DD had her braces fitted she took a large flask of tomato soup to school every day for the first few days, plus a drink. She then added in shakes, yogurts, etc.

It wasn't really that difficult.

I think you are experiencing diversionary stress, OP. I am bloody marvellous at having this

LeapingOverTheWall · 07/03/2014 10:36

well cooked pasta, rice (although that gets stuck a bit, as does couscous). DD has cheese or ham sandwiches which she picks apart and eats in small bits. Smoothies, soup, bananas are all easy to eat without chewing.

To be fair, the first week or so of braces is pretty horrendous, until you get the hang of "chewing" with your tongue and the roof of your mouth.

Original poster

NoonarAgain · 07/03/2014 10:42

Ok....These braces have something called bioblocks in them. She has a mouthful of plastic blocks, not just wires. She's telling me she can barely even swallow her own saliva, and can only swallow a tiny mouthful of food by titling her head back. My other dd had braces too and had nothing like this level of difficulty. We got some really squishy soft chips from the chippy yesterday after our appointment and she took about 10 mins to eat 3 chips.

As I know what the dinners are like, I realised they would be ideal as they are soft and also bong have the sticky/ doughy texture of bread.

I'm sorry that I've come across as unreasonable. My dds braces Are not the conventional type and she is only just 9 years old so perhaps struggling more than a teen.

I can see why you would think I have poor organisation, but hopefully this post will make it clearer that it isn't that simple.

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JennyOnAPlate · 07/03/2014 10:42

Yes Yabu. If they allow one parent to flout the rules they will have to allow the other 399.

It wouldn't even have occurred to me to ask in tour situation.

Original poster

NoonarAgain · 07/03/2014 10:43

'Dont have'

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Original poster

NoonarAgain · 07/03/2014 10:44

Jenny, could I ask you to read my latest post and still think you wouldn't have asked?

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CaptainTripps · 07/03/2014 10:45

Like leaping says, whatever she eats it'll be tricky for the first week or so.

I was just left to get on with it when I were a lass and I had braces. And I did. It didn't even occur to me to question any food supplied or to ask for different treatment.

I believe that level of hands-off parenting has stood me in good stead over the years.

Original poster

NoonarAgain · 07/03/2014 10:46

Captain, could I ask you also to read my last post :)

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