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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

AIBU to be livid about this (school dinners)

83 replies

NoonarAgain · 07/03/2014 10:19

Dd had her braces fitted yesterday and is really, really struggling to eat. I rang up the school dinner provider to ask if they could waive the 7 day in advance booking for school dinners, as it was an extenuating circumstance( school dinners here are always very soft/ mushy, which is usually a disadvantage but would suit dds braces). I was given a whole load of officious bullshit about exact numbers, low availability of food and how my dd would be depriving another child if they sold me a meal for Monday. They said they could only sell me a dinner for Wednesday FFs!

They were so jobs worthy about the whole thing, it made me SO mad. I asked to speak to someone senior who had the authority to make an exception. They just repeated what their colleague had said but eventually agreed to call head office.

I have just had a call back and they have agreed to feed my dd as a massive one off favour to us.

So the problem is solved, but my blood is still boiling! AIBU to think that I shouldn't have had to argue with 2 people and make 3 phone calls to arrange school dinners for next week? Their attitude was about as far from child centred as you could possibly get. AIBU to be appalled by this?

OP posts:
Original poster
NoonarAgain · 07/03/2014 11:10

Tabula, they def have to stay in.

Funny, I will do that, re the breakfast.

Thank you shiny.

OP posts:
NorthernLassie724 · 07/03/2014 11:10

Sorry if it came across as hostile, it just annoys me when people get all moany and when you ask them questions about whose responsibility about the situation they somehow manage to miss them whilst answering to all the people who are being sympathetic...that's how it seemed to me.

Does this mean you sent your dd to school without actually knowing she'd get fed that day, i.e. with no packed lunch and based on the assumption they'd instantly say yes to feeding her?

LeapingOverTheWall · 07/03/2014 11:12

if these are the type of braces to stretch the jaw, then yes they come out to eat (and speak in DDs friends case), so the chewing isn't an issue. It's the fixed train track ones which yo need to work around and just when it's going OK, they tighten them, the teeth move, and you have to start again

Artandco · 07/03/2014 11:12

I would give packed lunch

Soup in themos
Soft bread
Avocado
Banana
Raspberries
Yogurt
Milkshake

Feed the same at home.

If she can barely eat anything why make her eat any school dinner? Surely it would be better to just pack here soft things like mentioned and include milkshakes etc and just take the pressure off her. Them she can eat if she wants/ drink if she wants or leave

firstchoice · 07/03/2014 11:14

Obviously, having had another child with braces who managed without too many food adaptations, you have been 'caught short' by the difficulties these particular braces are causing your dd.

It would have been nice if school could have been sympathetic and 'broken the rules' due to the medical circs just this once, but if they wont there is not much you can do. Frothing wont help. (my kids school will let my dd choose, order and eat a school lunch today, no notice, and I will pay when I collect her at 3pm - I have done this a number of times for sheer lack of organisation, at least you have a good reason!)

All you can do is get lots of suitable foods in today whilst she is at school and have plenty in for next weeks packed lunches?

Some good suggestions for palatable soft foods upthread.

Hope she is feeling better soon...

(ps - linerunner - I am the QUEEN of diversionary stress...)

Original poster
NoonarAgain · 07/03/2014 11:15

Oh Northern, the only people I've ignored on here are the ones who have been quite aggressive. Isn't it human nature to thank a supporter when you feel attacked by the majority? Have you never felt attacked on a thread?

And no, i did not send her in With that assumption. I requested lunch for Monday. I think I said that in my op. She is actually on school trip today with lunch included in a canteen, so I am hoping she will find something suitable.

OP posts:
Feminine · 07/03/2014 11:17
lottieandmia · 07/03/2014 11:17

YANBU. My youngest dd who just started reception goes to a school where most of the children have school lunches and she did some taster days at the school the term before she started. She was provided with school lunches for those days and I was not asked for payment. I assume she was not the only one.

Similarly, my oldest dd started a special school at the same time. They booked in some taster days for her the term before she was due to start as well and provided her with school lunches with only about a week's notice.

The school are being bureaucratic, inflexible twunts IMO.

tabulahrasa · 07/03/2014 11:17

DS had similar ones and they definitely were taken out for eating - that's why I asked.

Hoppinggreen · 07/03/2014 11:17

Yanbu to ask the school but yabu to get so annoyed when they couldn't help

AnnabelleLee · 07/03/2014 11:17

Ironic, considering how aggressive your OP is. I hope you weren't as rude to the "jobsworth" on the phone as it sounds like you were.

CocktailQueen · 07/03/2014 11:17

Soup, rice salad, pasta salad, noodle salad...

HAve not read whole thread but YABU! Forward planning?

lottieandmia · 07/03/2014 11:18

On mumsnet there are some posters who cannot wait to jump to the defence of any school. The school is never wrong in some people's eyes (eye roll).

Original poster
NoonarAgain · 07/03/2014 11:18

Thanks artandco and first choice for ideas.

Leaping. Yes they are the jaw stretching bioblocs And no, they don't come out to eat. I have a very limited leaflet with info stating how difficult eating will be. Got this yesterday. Clearly nit all experiences and braces are the same.

OP posts:
Floggingmolly · 07/03/2014 11:19

Send in mushy food in a plastic lunch box Confused. The advance booking rule is there for a reason.

AnnabelleLee · 07/03/2014 11:20

Its not the school though, its some poor fucker in the food provision company getting abuse from the OP for simply doing their job.

nicename · 07/03/2014 11:21

I had the huge tramline braces (blocks and wires) and it really isn't a problem eating. It takes time to get used to them and not bite your cheeks. When they are adjusted, your teeth do feel tender for a few hours.

You do need to know what to avoid though (chewy or sticky stuff and apples are a real pain. Crunchy brad is also not advised (I pulled out one of the back bands gnawing on a crust).

NorthernLassie724 · 07/03/2014 11:22

Lottie I don't think the OP has had any dealing with the school, the food is provided by an outside company so it was them that she's been dealing with.

And OP, I don't feel I was aggressive at all. However I do feel that your OP was actually quite aggressive. I have been asking direct questions which were not answered, hence my making my point a little bit more strongly.

Original poster
NoonarAgain · 07/03/2014 11:24

Ok :)
Maybe my op was aggressive. I was upset. Have calmed down. I'm going to walk away now. Thanks everyone.

OP posts:
WooWooOwl · 07/03/2014 11:24

YABU.

It's not about making an exception, school kitchens work in different ways, but usually with quite tight margins, so there will be a reason why they ask for food to be ordered a week in advance.

It creates extra work when orders are amended at short notice, and it's not necessarily up to the first person you spoke to on the phone to give you an automatic yes to your request when it's not her job that will be affected.

Can't you just be thankful that they have agreed to it? So what if you had to faff around speaking to different people before you got the answer you wanted? You are the one that wanted the special request for you child, so why shouldn't you have to put in a bit of time to get it sorted?

Original poster
NoonarAgain · 07/03/2014 11:25

Sorry I didn't specifically mean you aggressive (I haven't ignored you ) :)

OP posts:
Original poster
NoonarAgain · 07/03/2014 11:25

That was to Northern. Am def going now!

OP posts:
lottieandmia · 07/03/2014 11:27

I also think it's ridiculous to suggest that the OP should have known weeks in advance how her dd was going to react after the brace was fitted. It's not something you know in advance.

I just think that there is a difference in saying no because you physically cannot accommodate something and saying no just because you can.

AnnabelleLee · 07/03/2014 11:28

or because its the rules of your job and you're supposed to? cop on.

lottieandmia · 07/03/2014 11:32

I find it hard to believe that they could not have bent the rules on one occasion. Even when my dd was at nursery and their meals were provided by another school provider they were able to be flexible.

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