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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

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Original poster

AIBU to be livid about this (school dinners)

83 replies

NoonarAgain · 07/03/2014 10:19

Dd had her braces fitted yesterday and is really, really struggling to eat. I rang up the school dinner provider to ask if they could waive the 7 day in advance booking for school dinners, as it was an extenuating circumstance( school dinners here are always very soft/ mushy, which is usually a disadvantage but would suit dds braces). I was given a whole load of officious bullshit about exact numbers, low availability of food and how my dd would be depriving another child if they sold me a meal for Monday. They said they could only sell me a dinner for Wednesday FFs!

They were so jobs worthy about the whole thing, it made me SO mad. I asked to speak to someone senior who had the authority to make an exception. They just repeated what their colleague had said but eventually agreed to call head office.

I have just had a call back and they have agreed to feed my dd as a massive one off favour to us.

So the problem is solved, but my blood is still boiling! AIBU to think that I shouldn't have had to argue with 2 people and make 3 phone calls to arrange school dinners for next week? Their attitude was about as far from child centred as you could possibly get. AIBU to be appalled by this?

OP posts:

Cigarettesandsmirnoff · 07/03/2014 10:47

So could she not have soup in a flask?

If you see the food daily you could have passed it to her your self ?

Drama lama!

NorthernLassie724 · 07/03/2014 10:47

My friend had these so I do sympathise with your daughter. She had them to get her jaw to move and couldn't shut her mouth for months.

However, I repeat my question - did you honestly not know it'd cause a problem with eating? And did you specifically not know that dd would have this type of brace because unfortunately for me your latest post has made it clear that it was more important than the majority of brace-wearers that measures were put into place for your dd.

CaptainTripps · 07/03/2014 10:48

That's honestly not a criticism. It sounds like it, reading back. But why not see how it goes. Have a back up supply of all the good things mentioned above. She won't starve. The body (mouth in this case) adapts.

LineRunner · 07/03/2014 10:48

I kind of knew my DD would not have managed chips after a fitting for braces. That's why we had soup in.

NorthernLassie724 · 07/03/2014 10:50

Did your older dd have any problems and if so, what did you do about it?

Original poster

NoonarAgain · 07/03/2014 10:51

All I wanted to explain really is that these are not conventional braces and that dd is years younger than most people who get braces. Maybe that's why I come across as too hand on, captain.

OP posts:

Original poster

NoonarAgain · 07/03/2014 10:54

Line runner, they weren't fries, they were squishy fat chip shop ones. I thought they'd be ok.

As I said, dd 1 had nowhere near this level of difficulty, as the chewing was easier for her. Obv we made small adaptations. But tbh I have been taken aback by the level of difficulty chewing due to the plastic blocks inside the mouth.

OP posts:

Shonajoy · 07/03/2014 10:54

My dd struggled with. Her braces pain wise so much, her gums bled. After the second week they were fine and she could eat again. You can get some really nice pot noodle TYPE things in sainsburys, like udon noodles in sweet and sour sauce, that just take a cup of boiling water to eat, dd used those a lot.

I can't believe the schools attitide, I'm sure they're not like that when someone requires a gluten free meal, or halal? Xx

TheProsAndConsOfHitchhiking · 07/03/2014 10:55

If these are not 'normal' braces, Surely the dentist gave you some advice on what food to eat for the first week or so?

Original poster

NoonarAgain · 07/03/2014 10:56

Shona, thanks for your post. I really appreciated it :)

OP posts:

AnnabelleLee · 07/03/2014 10:56

yabvu. And if you get that overworked about such do a little thing, what on earth do you with actual problems?
Give her a flask of soup and chill the fuck out.

CoffeeTea103 · 07/03/2014 10:57

Ffs calm down! Why on earth can you not provide her with a suitable lunch? That in itself is laughable. Also you knew about the braces for a while. Why should they make an exception for you? Just because you have an account means zilch, that doesn't mean you need special treatment.

NorthernLassie724 · 07/03/2014 10:58

I notice you've been avoiding my direct question : did you honestly not know that eating would be an issue (especially more so with the different braces?)

I think you know now that YABU to moan about not being able to easily break a perfectly reasonable rule set by the dinner provider to try and convince yourself otherwise

Original poster

NoonarAgain · 07/03/2014 10:59

Pros, tbh they didn't at all. They just said it'll be hard to eat for a while and that they hoped dd had had a good lunch, as she wouldn't manage much later!

I know that the consensus is that it's my fault for not forward planning and IAU but my dd is only just 9 and we had this done on a school night, so have had no time to actually adapt at home to the braces and practise eating etc. it's been more of a shock than we all expected. Sometimes the theory and practise are not as one would imagine.

OP posts:

Feminine · 07/03/2014 10:59

Are the braces (what we used to call at school) the train track type?

They are painful

Eventually, it gets much better.

I think what happened here, is that what is a big deal in your families lives means not much to the school. That hurts I guess.

I hope your daughter's mouth heals very quickly, nine is young to have to put up with it!

TheProsAndConsOfHitchhiking · 07/03/2014 11:01

Shonajoy As far as I have read I can not see that the school has had an attitude at all. I am sure any parent who phoned up and demanded halal or gluten free without any notice would be told to jog on also.

My ds school has the same system, it is known to all by parents and pupils that meals have to be ordered in advance. There is no facilities on site for school meals to be cooked, They are brought in daily by a third party.

sparechange · 07/03/2014 11:01

Shona, I'm not sure anyone suddenly decides to be celiac or Muslim on a Friday and then demands the school bends to their whim by first thing Monday morning to avoid them having to plan suitable meals for their child!

Also OP, you are only appreciative of the posts which say yanbu, rather than the ones offering constructive suggestions to help your DD with meals she can eat. Nice...

Original poster

NoonarAgain · 07/03/2014 11:02

Northern, I don't think I've ignored that issue! You seem quite hostile, for some reason! I think I did allude to my expectations in my post of 10:54. Sorry for not responding directly enough.

OP posts:

ikeaismylocal · 07/03/2014 11:03

Can't you just send her with soup in a flask? If she struggles to eat soft chips it seems unlikely that school dinners how ever soggy are a good idea.

Soup would be perfect because you could make sure she was still getting a balanced diet rather than just picking out the bits of the meal she feels able to eat.

Original poster

NoonarAgain · 07/03/2014 11:06

Hello spare change. Sorry for not directly responding to ideas the foods suggested. I have been mulling them over and thinking about how dd would cope with all suggested. So thanks for those ideas.

I think soups will be good.

I think we just needed some time to experiment. We can do so at the weekend.

OP posts:

shinynewnickname · 07/03/2014 11:07

Hope your dd gets used to them quick and isn't in too much pain. My dds are 8 and I can't imagine them trying to deal with braces just now.

I understand why you panicked and contacted lunch provider, however I suppose they are tight on waste control hence the 7 day advance booking. In the future though I imagine your dd will struggle every time braces are adjusted so maybe better to just buy a thermos and organise soup for her to take. If she'll eat it. Not sure my dds would to be honest.

Hope she improves over the weekend

Funnyfoot · 07/03/2014 11:07

What about the soup suggestions that have been posted OP?
The clearly have the facilities to heat it up if you don't have a flask.

Noodle salad? Then she can just slurp them.

If she eats a good breakfast in the morning then a light snack (such as soup) at lunch followed by a good dinner she should be fine for a few days.

tabulahrasa · 07/03/2014 11:07

Um - are bioblocs not supposed to be taken out for eating?

Funnyfoot · 07/03/2014 11:08

X post with OP

puds11isNAUGHTYnotNAICE · 07/03/2014 11:10

Flask of soup.

Hope she feels better soon

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