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AIBU?

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Original poster

To think if you arent sure, you shouldnt ask....

55 replies

Gwladgwlad · 25/02/2014 15:31

Some stupid bloody woman in work asked me when the baby was due. I am not pregnant (have 6 yr old and 2 yr old) and am mortified.

I am a bit over my favourite weight and my tummy does stick out a bit! But FFS, would you ever ask?
Gutted! I was having a fat day too as can't seem to lose the last half a stone :(

OP posts:
prettybird · 25/02/2014 15:35

I did that once to a friend of my overseas' family when we were visiting after a couple of years' gap. BlushBlush

I swear she looked 6 months at least gone BlushBlush

I now need confirmation from the mouth of the woman concerned or at a push her partner before ever commenting on a pregnancy BlushBlush

saulaboutme · 25/02/2014 15:36

I've been asked and am afraid I'm guilty of asking once!
Woman I know was always saying she was trying for her 3rd DC.
Mortified

CardiffUniversityNetballTeam · 25/02/2014 15:38

I think an excellent rule of thumb in these situations is never to ask a woman if she is pregnant unless you can actually physically see a baby coming out of her. Wink

workingtolive · 25/02/2014 15:39

I have been asked too, I had a new top on at the time, felt wonderful, was shattered to a million pieces shortly after being asked how old my ds was (not a ds but a dd who looked a bit boyish) and when the next one was due.
conversely, when I was pregnant I didn't look it for ages!

DaleyBump · 25/02/2014 15:40

Even if I could see the head coming out I would be scared to ask.

WorraLiberty · 25/02/2014 15:42

I asked someone once when I was a teenager Blush

The thing was, in my mind I was absolutely sure she was pregnant.

Lesson learned though. That was 30 years ago and I've never asked anyone since.

ArsePaste · 25/02/2014 15:42

Better a pregnant lady standing, than a fat lass crying, as that well known "wit" Peter Kay once said. NEVER ask.

PeggyCarter · 25/02/2014 15:42

This reply has been deleted

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

Goblinchild · 25/02/2014 15:44

How would you solve the issue of shy pregnant women standing then?
Those that are too timid to ask for a seat, surrounded by those that are too embarrassed to ask if she wants one in case she's just fat? Grin

BettySwollocksandaCrustyRack · 25/02/2014 15:45

I've done that...I just wanted to die on the spot, was not my finest moment. I will never ever say anything now unless I see someone in full blown labour!

BadgersRetreat · 25/02/2014 15:45

I hadn't been there long when a woman at work showed me an ultrasound pic and said 'look, my baby' and i wished her congratulations, and said i didn't know she was expecting.

'i'm not, it's my grandchild'.... Blush

I blame her for that - very misleading!! She looked about 40 but was in fact over 50 too.

Lambzig · 25/02/2014 15:49

A young guy absolutely insisted I had his seat on the tube last week. Am trying to figure out if he thought I was pregnant or old. Not happy about either.

Pawprint · 25/02/2014 15:50

Totally agree. My tummy was fat for ages after I had ds and looked like a bump :( At least 12 people asked me when my baby was due. I was mortified. Then I realised that it was partly the clothes I was wearing so went on a diet and bought some new clobber still look fat though

WorraLiberty · 25/02/2014 15:50

OMG Badgers that's hilarious and so not your fault! Grin

BadgersRetreat · 25/02/2014 15:52

pfft thanks Worra

i was this colour for about 2 hours ---> Angry

she did laugh, thank fuck.

Lottiedoubtie · 25/02/2014 15:55

I got asked once I was Blush but also vaguely Confused as whilst I was overweight I definitely wasn't carrying it as a bump at the front!!

Well actually not asked, but told I shouldn't be moving a heavy table 'in my condition' which as probably worse... Grin

AlpacaLypse · 25/02/2014 15:58

I once did something far worse Sad. When I was a teenager I ran into someone I knew who'd been expecting a baby which would have been due in about a month's time. Thoughtlessly I asked her where it was. It turned out to have been still born at six months.

It's left me with a lasting terror of asking anybody anything about pregnancy.

RiverTam · 25/02/2014 16:00

my old hairdresser looked permanently 6 months gone - luckily I never asked but it was only after I'd seen her like this for about a year that I realised that it was just her tummy.

Scarletohello · 25/02/2014 16:02

I have had this so many times! I'm an apple shape so although quite slim I have a bit of a tummy.

So, a few examples are;

One time I was walking down the street, minding my own business and smoking a fag. A homeless person shouted out, you shouldn't be smoking in your condition!

Been asked many times by strangers, when's it due?

Been offered seats on tube by people assuming I'm pregnant.

However the one that takes the biscuit is one when a few years ago I was with a group of friends travelling back to UK from France on an overnight ferry. We hadn't booked a cabin so I wanted to find out where the recliners were. I asked a cabin member who was French. He replied, oh no Madame, in your condition you shouldn't be sleeping in a recliner, I'll show you to the medical room! So he showed me to a private room with a bed in! My French wasn't good enough to explain, no I'm not pregnant, I'm just fat. So I had a very restful night's wlee

Scarletohello · 25/02/2014 16:04

*sleep on a comfy bed!

It used to upset me but I'm used to it now

But really wish people wouldn't make assumptions...

Goblinchild · 25/02/2014 16:05

Badgers, that's an easy one to recover from though, just look astounded and say 'Grandchild? Surely not, you are far too young. Really? Wow, you look amazing!'
Then watch the happy smugness put a bounce in her step for the rest of the day.
Much worse to mistake a parent for a grandparent.

Scarletohello · 25/02/2014 16:07

Arse that Peter Kay quote is sooo funny!

Corygal · 25/02/2014 16:08

My stomach sticks out and when tired I go green, so people spend their lives asking me if I want a seat on the tube. It's superb because I have a bad back - I couldn't care less if anyone thinks I'm pregnant.

Ememem84 · 25/02/2014 16:10

I was asked once. I'd taken great care that day choosing a really nice outfit for work which included a New grey pencil skirt. Turns out skirt was not very forgiving. Was congratulated. And then asked when I was due.

I corrected colleague. Threw skirt to back if wardrobe when I got home. Then hit the gym the next day to sort out stomach.

Can now wear skirt again.

Jess03 · 25/02/2014 16:10

I jumped out of my seat on the bus for a lady I was sure was 6 months pregnant but by the look on her face I think i put my foot in it - still feel bad! I never ever ask!