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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

To think if you arent sure, you shouldnt ask....

55 replies

Gwladgwlad · 25/02/2014 15:31

Some stupid bloody woman in work asked me when the baby was due. I am not pregnant (have 6 yr old and 2 yr old) and am mortified.

I am a bit over my favourite weight and my tummy does stick out a bit! But FFS, would you ever ask?
Gutted! I was having a fat day too as can't seem to lose the last half a stone :(

OP posts:
DebbieOfMaddox · 25/02/2014 16:12

Only ever suggest someone might be pregnant if they've actually thrust the urine-soaked test under your nose.

euq8820 · 25/02/2014 16:15

I've been asked twice, first time I was only in my early 20's, got really embarrassed and said I wasn't and the woman spent the next 5 minutes saying you have to be! Couldn't escape the room quick enough.
Second time I was actually pregnant but didn't know it yet, only a few weeks so not enough to mistake the fat for a bump but I can pretend! Wink

campion · 25/02/2014 16:15

DH asked someone at a party when her baby was due. 'He's 2 months old' was the reply as she sank into post natal depression

To be fair, he's never asked anyone since!

Mumto3dc · 25/02/2014 16:19

Oh nooo, horrible, poor you...

Not that you care... but I bet she's mortified too! I did this with an acquaintance last summer, was horrifically embarrassing for both of usConfused I now cringe very time I see her.

(Not that it makes it better but she's really slim but just with a pregnant looking tummy and was wearing tight clothes...)

Somersetlady · 25/02/2014 16:20

It's never safe!

In the waiting room for scan at hospital waiting to go in got chatting to an obviously pregnant lady so naturally enough asked her when she was due.

It turns out she was waiting for her daughter to come back who was the pregnant one and she was just rather well fed! I was totally mortified but apologising just seemed to make it even worse. Ive never been so pleased to be called in for an appointment in my life!

softlysoftly · 25/02/2014 16:23

I've been given a seat on the tube when not pg. I just quietly sat and tried to look upduffed so she didn't realise I was just a greedy heifer, then went home and burned the top I was wearing :)

Also given a % off the bagel stand in Paddington under their discount for pg women policy. I actually am pg but was only 3 months ffs! I asked if they didn't need proof jokingly and he said "oh no you can certainly tell".

Great thanks Hmm

drspouse · 25/02/2014 16:39

I have never (I hope) done this to anyone directly but I did take the bulging tummy of one neighbour and slightly obscure comment of another to mean that the first neighbour was expecting their third, and told yet another neighbour that this was the case. Blush

I wish I could remember what on earth Neighbour 2 said that made me think this. It may have been about someone else entirely, as Neighbour 1 has a common first name.

frogslegs35 · 25/02/2014 16:52

Yanbu!
I've been asked before. It was a week after I'd given birth though so did definitely still have a bit of a bump, so I didn't take too much offence.

I wouldn't ask someone unless I was sure.

Doyouthinktheysaurus · 25/02/2014 16:59

Oh god, I never ask for this reason!

I've been asked twice, once while still in my teensHmm and once when I was in the supermarket the day after having DS2!

I was overweight in my teens by a couple of stone but I'm a classic pear shape, it definitely goes on use hips, not the stomach!

HauntedNoddyCar · 25/02/2014 17:06

I've asked TWICE. Fool.
First time was when I was 18 and I knew the woman was pg. I'd been away for several months. Saw her and said "Not much longer now then!". "I've had the baby..."
So I vowed never to ask anyone ever again.
Twenty years later at a toddler group I hear the words "Ooh are you pregnant" escaping my mouth to someone I was on chatting terms with. "No, just fat". But to be fair she did say she'd been wondering herself.

JugglingFromHereToThere · 25/02/2014 17:06

I think I've been asked (but see I've forgotten so it can't have been that bad !) and also I did ask someone once and she wasn't. I still can't believe it. I really wouldn't have asked unless I was sure!
But as someone said upthread I guess the baby wasn't actually making an appearance Grin
I will never ask again Blush

RedFocus · 25/02/2014 17:08

Last year I hadn't seen my brother for a few months and when I walked in my mums house he yelled 'when's it due sis?'
That prompted me to start low carbing after new year and I've lost over 24lbs now so I'm actually glad he said it. Smile

BeverleyMoss · 25/02/2014 17:09

I was pushing the pram which was carrying my two week old PFB and was asked by a passing by friend of friend how long I had to go now.

She was just IMO plain fucking stupid on that occasion. Hmm

WooWooOwl · 25/02/2014 17:09

I offered someone a seat once because they looked like they were at least 7 months pregnant.

It was a village show and there were only a few seats around with plenty of adults standing, but it was a young children's thing so was the sort of place you'd expect to see pregnant women.

This woman took the seat, and then told me she wasn't pregnant and that her tummy hadn't gone down at all in the two years since she'd had her last baby.

MsLT · 25/02/2014 17:18

Ha! OP, I have been asked this twice!!
Both times I gasped in mock horror and said ' I'm not flipping pregnant FGS!! ' both times, the person was horrified whilst I laughed my head off at their embarrassment.
Don't worry about it! I found it funny! Sorry!

Foxsticks · 25/02/2014 17:27

I got asked by an elderly aunt at a cousins wedding. When I said I wasn't pregnant she loudly exclaimed "oh you haven't lost the baby weight then?" I was mortified and spent a good hour sobbing in my room! I'd bought a new frock and everything - it was hideous!

jammiecat · 25/02/2014 17:54

Not been asked that but one of our neighbours on one of our first trips out with baby DS commented that she hadn't realised I was pregnant. I definitely looked pregnant so clearly she just thought I was really fat!

andadietcoke · 25/02/2014 17:59

I was collecting a prescription and asked the lady if she needed to see my maternity exemption certificate. She said she very definitely didn't need to 'in my condition'. She then proceeded to go and coo through the window at my DTs being pushed by MiL and asked me if I was excited. Fuckwit.

CoffeeTea103 · 25/02/2014 18:11

I think if you genuinely look it, then people will really think it's true and ask. I've done this before.

sazzle82 · 25/02/2014 18:21

I've had it 3 times. First person was mortified, she thought she had been told I was pregnant (and looking back at the pics of that day I looked huge).

Had it from an elderly relative at a funeral. Again, they said they thought they had been told I was pregnant.

Worst was supermarket cashier asked when I was due and when told I want pregnant just said 'oh, I thought you were' in a very disinterested manner. I was more annoyed by the cliché than anything else that time.

Crappiest thing about it all was that the comments were all pre dc and post 3 mc, although I never made anyone feel bad by telling them that.

akachan · 25/02/2014 18:34

Weirdly this happened to me recently and I was pregnant but only 5 weeks so don't think I can use it as an excuse. I'm definitely too fat in either state but don't normally look pregnant, maybe I was standing differently.

Divinity · 25/02/2014 18:40

Oh my I did this to an old school friend when I was young and foolish. She wasn't pregnant. I was utterly mortified. So YANBU I learnt my lesson and never, ever mention a baby bump.

samesizetoes · 25/02/2014 18:44

I made a similar blunder by NOT mentioning it.

I was visiting friend about 7 months after she had her first baby. She was a bit big and still looked very much pregnant but I didn't want to mention anything in case it was a sore subject. After an hour or so she said "are you not going to congratulate me?"
I replied "for what?"
"Baby number 2 of course" pointing to her belly "this isn't just leftover baby fat you know"

She was 5 months gone but I had no idea, I can never get it right. Hmm

Fullpleatherjacket · 25/02/2014 18:44

YADNBU.

I did it once and I'm not sure who was more mortified Blush

Never, ever again.

BrianTheMole · 25/02/2014 18:45

I got asked this in the bank by the cashier.

'Whens the baby due?'
'Six months ago' I replied.

I wouldn't have minded, but then she started sniggering to herself, which made me feel Blush and Angry

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