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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

AIBU to think not going abroad is OK?

81 replies

Caff2 · 25/02/2014 00:12

My elder son (13.5) has never been abroad. In fact, he's never been on holiday as such - but loads of interesting day trips. My dad's semi retired now (a classicist) and is looking into taking him to Pompeii this Summer - just him and my dad, no one else can afford it.

I don't think he's deprived. He seems to have had a lot of nice treats and experiences. I don't really get the holiday angst. (DS2 is only one and a half, and seems happy to pootle around the countryside looking at sheep :) )

I haven't been abroad since I was 17 - I'm 36 now. I feel OK and not deprived.

OP posts:
Naoko · 25/02/2014 00:15

Of course it's ok. But going abroad can also be a wonderful experience. I love it, and I miss it when I can't afford to. Just depends what you like to do! I think a trip to Pompeii with his granddad sounds like a wonderful opportunity for your DS, at least if he is interested in that sort of thing. I can imagine not all 13 year olds would be.

DonnaDishwater · 25/02/2014 00:16

The best holidays I had as a child were in this country. Foreign holidays are vastly overrated IMO.

Original poster
Caff2 · 25/02/2014 00:16

I will admit, he's very keen on this mooted trip! :)

OP posts:
SantasLittleMonkeyButler · 25/02/2014 00:22

Of course it's OK. I have not been abroad since my honeymoon in 1996 & my 16 and 13 year old DSs have never been abroad.

We are going to Majorca this year but that is purely because I have inherited a little money & decided to treat the whole family (well me, DH & DCs). In fact, come to think of it, the only time my DCs have ever stayed in a hotel overnight was for my brother's wedding when he cancelled the taxi home we had booked & insisted on paying for rooms for us.

We have had holidays over the years, but all caravan holidays in the UK. I don't see that they have been deprived of anything at all.

Original poster
Caff2 · 25/02/2014 00:23

It might be because of the 'plane! But also, he's quite interested in sort of human history - maybe I haven't explained that too well.

OP posts:
AnyFuckerHQ · 25/02/2014 00:24

of course, I love the UK

Original poster
Caff2 · 25/02/2014 00:24

Ah - glad it's not just us, SantasLittleMonkeyButler! Reading the recent "fine" threads, I was starting to think we were the only ones!

OP posts:
SantasLittleMonkeyButler · 25/02/2014 00:26

My DSs are asking more questions about the plane journey than about the country we are going to!

Original poster
Caff2 · 25/02/2014 00:28

Ahem, I hear you - my son is more interested in his brand spanking new passport than the actual trip! :)

OP posts:
YoureBeingASillyBilly · 25/02/2014 00:29

I think everyone should go abroad at least once in their lives tbh and if he's getting the chance to go i would encourage him to jump at it.

MrsTerryPratchett · 25/02/2014 00:32

DD has flown about 18 times in three years because we live abroad. Obviously I am biased but I think as much different stuff as possible is great. Having said that, the UK is incredibly varied and interesting. As long as you are willing to branch out.

SinglePringle · 25/02/2014 01:09

The UK is wonderful but there is an enormous, fascinating and different world out there, just waiting and begging to be explored. Travel definitely broadened my mind and I love visiting foreign shores.

Have also had some cracking holidays in the UK.

Neither one is better than the other but if I never left the UK again, I would feel sad and limited.

glastocat · 25/02/2014 01:14

Yes its ok to never go abroad, but I do think travel is a wonderful and mind expanding experience and to be encouraged if you can manage it at all. I would feel as if I'd missed out if Id never travelled, in fact I wish I'd travelled far far more (but I'm not done yet!). But I do prioritise experiences over things every time. Pompeii is meant to be wonderful, your son is lucky to get the chance to go IMO.

mumbaisapphirebluespruce · 25/02/2014 01:35

I love, love, love the UK. We are so lucky to have such a deep history and diverse cultures at our fingertips, but, I do think travel is such a great thing. Everyone should get the opportunity to go overseas at some point in their lives. For me travel is important in my life, and I'll be honest I don't really understand why some people wouldn't want to explore somewhere different if you have the means to. I'm not saying they are wrong for wanting to stay put, I just can't understand it.

Plateofcrumbs · 25/02/2014 02:05

We never went on foreign holidays when I was a kid, and I used to think friend who went to abroad were terribly exotic and sophisticated, although I realise now they were largely going to places like Benidorm and there's really nothing very mind-expanding about that.

But I'm very glad now I'm older I've had the chance to travel a bit. I love the Lake District but it's nothing like as jaw-dropping as Yosemite. And we have some amazing buildings but none of them has ever made me cry like the Taj Mahal did. And it's endless fascinating to understand the ways, both profound and small, that other people live differently (and despite having travelled extensively, the biggest mystery to me is why does France insist on daily fresh bread yet seem perfectly content with UHT milk?)

kmc1111 · 25/02/2014 02:28

Of course it's fine, but for me, coming from a country where it costs a small fortune and takes forever to go anywhere, I'm always amazed by how many in the UK never even make the short trip to say, France or Spain. It's so easy, and comparatively it's dirt cheap. When I first came here I went to a new city almost every weekend for a year, and at that time I was just studying and working a minimum wage job. I still find it incredible that I can take a day trip to Paris on a whim, or visit a half a dozen countries in as many days. I do find it hard to understand people who don't take advantage of that when they have the option, but I guess if you've always lived in the UK it doesn't seem so easy to travel because you have nothing to compare it to.

MrRected · 25/02/2014 02:52

Each to their own. I never went on overseas holidays as a child. I got incredibly itchy feet and took myself off overseas age 17 and spent the better part of 10 years travelling, working, saving. Repeat.

I can't imagine not travelling so a stay at home childhood did not harm me.

MrsTerryPratchett · 25/02/2014 05:23

kmc1111 I have that issue now. I'm in Canada where you have to pay a fortune and travel for hours to get away from the States hear a different accent or see something not strip mall-esque.

meganorks · 25/02/2014 05:35

I didn't go abroad till 16 and I did feel a bit deprived to be honest. Everyone else seemed to go abroad for holidays and I used to try and ask my dad of we could go. He always used arguments about the hassle of changing money and not liking flying and airports. Imagine my joy when there was talk of the euro and the channel tunnel being built!

At 16 I was allowed on the school art trip to Paris and then the following years went on some other college trips and absolutely loves it!

GoodnessIsThatTheTime · 25/02/2014 05:47

There's so many places I want to take my children and I do feel I'm letting them down not being able to afford to take them.

I think I've got much larger aspirations than our current budget. I'd love to put together a 5 year or ten year wish list for their childhood to give them varied experiences.

I'd love to travel more in the uk too.

TestingTestingWonTooFree · 25/02/2014 06:14

It's fine, but so is going to Pompeii with grandad. Not really sure what the issue is.

NickNacks · 25/02/2014 06:21

But you've said he's not even been on holiday in the UK? Just lots of interesting day trips.

I'm afraid I would feel my child was missing out and it's a shame Sad

Waltonswatcher1 · 25/02/2014 06:37

My kids are proud of our lower carbon footprint .
Its Cornwall every year !

ginbin54 · 25/02/2014 06:37

YANBU. However, if ds is interested in history then I think Pompeii would be a fantastic opportunity. Also, that part of Italy is simply stunning. Have had wonderful holidays in the UK but abroad is good too. Don't knock it till you've tried it I say.

SockQueen · 25/02/2014 06:43

YANBU to think he probably hasn't suffered by not going abroad so far. That's fine, plenty of people haven't.

But why does that mean he shouldn't now go on a trip that sounds fascinating, with a member of his own family? I don't get what the downside to him going is?