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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

To text 'friend' back <fume>

66 replies

YouAreTheWeakestLinkGoodbye · 15/02/2014 10:12

A friend has just cancelled on me. we had planned to go out for lunch today but has just said she can't manage. I am really fuming with her, she is not the most reliable person. I really want to give her a witty reply but can't think of any, i know this sounds really bad but can you give me any?
The reason she cancelled was because her sister sprained her wrist and I really don't see how this can stop her from coming to lunch with me. AIBU to do this?

OP posts:
Joules68 · 15/02/2014 10:13

Do it! It's clearly an excuse

Normalisavariantofcrazy · 15/02/2014 10:13

Why are you angry? People are allowed to change their minds and it's 2-3 hours before lunch so plenty of time

sooperdooper · 15/02/2014 10:15

I think you're being a bit daft tbh, it's only 10.15am, she's not cancelled last minute and it sounds like she needs to help her sister out, which is more important than lunch!

Doesn't sound like you like her much, why were you meeting up anyway?

WhoNickedMyName · 15/02/2014 10:15

I just wouldn't respond at all, and I wouldn't make contact with her again until she gets in touch with you.

Farrowandbawl · 15/02/2014 10:16

Does her sister have young children to look after? Maybe she offered to help her out or take her to the hospital or just you know...have another family crisis that you don't need to know about?

ageofgrandillusion · 15/02/2014 10:16

I'd be glad personally, the weather is shite outside. Stay in and watch telly instead.

K8eee · 15/02/2014 10:17

Totally agree with who nicked. I'm sick and tired of people letting me down, I have very few friends who I can count on one maybe two hands who don't let me down and I know want to see me rather than those who want a moan and gossip about my life. Sod her!

Original poster
YouAreTheWeakestLinkGoodbye · 15/02/2014 10:22

I know it sounds like I'm being unreasonable but she has no kids and neither does her sister and mine are on a school trip for half term. The table was booked for 11.15 and I was to pick her up at 10.30. So it's not really that long till lunch. I am just really fuming with her because she is so unreliable. I really want to say something to her but I don't know what

OP posts:
stinkingbishop · 15/02/2014 10:23

YABU to have lunch at 11.15 Wink.

Supercosy · 15/02/2014 10:24

Depends really. I have friends who are always doing this in the sense that they more often don't turn up than do. It gets incredibly annoying. Otoh we all have to do this sometimes.

Ifcatshadthumbs · 15/02/2014 10:25

I wouldn't reply. Pisses me off when people cancel on the day by text message. The least she could have done was phoned.

Supercosy · 15/02/2014 10:25

With regards to doing something about it. I've stopped making plans with those particular friends.

Farrowandbawl · 15/02/2014 10:26

Then you have two options.

Get over it and enjoy your weekend without the kids and do something really nice for yourself or let it fester and ruin your weekend without the kids.

Sorry to sound harsh, I can't see what else you can do. As for your friend, are you both close or is it a case of you are more friends with her than she is with you?

MardyBra · 15/02/2014 10:26

She's probably not hungry enough for such a ridiculously early lunch.

Flyonthewindscreen · 15/02/2014 10:29

Given the circumstances given in your second post, I would say friend is a flake who has had a better offer/wants to stay at home because of shite weather. Don't text back though, it makes you look petty. Just don't bother with her if she is often unreliable. Unless there is an option of only meeting up with her as part of a group, this is a tactic I use with flaky friends whose company I enjoy

ItitwrongtofancyHarryStyles · 15/02/2014 10:29

Wow that's an early lunch?! She probably thinks it's coffee or a quick bite and not a big deal to cancel. It's not a big deal to cancel, she's right. I think you need to cop on to yourself and calm down.

Original poster
YouAreTheWeakestLinkGoodbye · 15/02/2014 10:30

I'm angry because she is always sooo unreliable and this is exactly the type of thing she does.

ageofgrandillusionI'm in Scotland and its a lovely sunny day here! Grin

OP posts:
RandomMess · 15/02/2014 10:30

How about just telling her that you're very disappointed as had been looking forward to it.

justgirl · 15/02/2014 10:31

myself and friends cancel plans on each other all the time? none of us feel "let down" by said friend?? obviously if one of us needed some support or whatever, we'd be there...but lunch/dinner plans/nights out...its just one of those things surely?

SarahBumBarer · 15/02/2014 10:31

How annoying is she? Are you willing to lose her as a friend over this?

ToootSweet · 15/02/2014 10:32

If she's soooo unreliable then you should have expected it.
Still rude though.

Original poster
YouAreTheWeakestLinkGoodbye · 15/02/2014 10:35

I know it's an early lunch but the place we were going to is notorious for taking for ever to get you served.

She used to be at my work but left in July.
After reading some of your replies what I'm going to do is not reply and see if she texts me back later

OP posts:
MardyBra · 15/02/2014 10:40

Maybe she's pissed off that you're not going to a place with decent service then.

YouStayClassySanDiego · 15/02/2014 10:44

You knew beforehand she was flaky so you should have been prepared for her cancelling.

Don't make plans with her again, will save you being pissed off and let down.

DonkeysDontRideBicycles · 15/02/2014 10:46

I was going to ask, does she even have a sister, but you know that at least is true. It does sound short notice. Do you think your friend has had a better offer?

I'd text back "Oh poor sister she's very welcome to join us" just to see what she said.

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