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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

about (less-than-D)H's trip to Dublin?

87 replies

OAM2009 · 07/02/2014 13:08

We have a 10 month old baby who will not sleep anyway but has an ear infection at the moment. We also have a 3.5yo and a just turned 5 year old. I was 40 in December but stayed local due to our young family. DH told his dad he wanted to go see Wales play Ireland in Dublin in the rugby Six Nations so his dad booked flights, a hotel, got tickets and off they go!

He'll fly at 5.30am tomorrow and land back here at 5.30pm on Monday. AIBU to be unbelievably pissed off that he's done this?

OP posts:
Objection · 07/02/2014 13:12

I think YABU a little. Would it have been a problem for you to do something similar? It's only a weekend.

Birdsgottafly · 07/02/2014 13:13

It is the lack of discussion about it, that would bother me.

I don't agree that both parents have to be available constantly and just because one Partner decides that they have put their life completely on hold, that the other should.

I socialised more than my DH when mine were little, though, he mixed with his family (which I don't have).

CailinDana · 07/02/2014 13:14

Straight on the net, spa weekend asap.

RandyRudolf · 07/02/2014 13:15

I have learnt that you can't come between a man and his rugby. You can put your argument forward as to why you think they shouldn't go but all they hear is 'blah blah blah'. They're just not interested. Rugby is their world Grin

steff13 · 07/02/2014 13:19

Did he insist that you stay locally for your birthday, or did you decide that yourself? I'd be a bit annoyed that he hadn't discussed it with me, but other than that, it wouldn't really bother me.

anothernumberone · 07/02/2014 13:20

DH heads off to watch a 6 nations match every year. I feel your pain. Rant away but tbh I don't think either of you are being unreasonable. 2 days is not a lot so long as it is only a rare occurence but being stuck at home is pretty crappy.

Mollydoggerson · 07/02/2014 13:20

YABU. It's not his fault the chi;d has an ear infection. Life sucks sometimes.

anothernumberone · 07/02/2014 13:21

DH went to Paris for Valentine's one year btw to watch rugby, that pissed me off :-).

SlimJiminy · 07/02/2014 13:21

I'd be annoyed that I didn't get to go with him...

BettySwollocksandaCrustyRack · 07/02/2014 13:22

Of course YABU! The world doesnt stop because you have 3 children. How much notice did he give you?

A weekend away with his dad is not cause for being pissed off. Just make sure you can get a nice weekend away somewhere too another time.

TheBeautifulVisit · 07/02/2014 13:24

YABU. It sounds a lovely thing for him and his dad to do together. Be sure to get yourself a weekend away from the stresses of family life sometime soon.

MrsBungle · 07/02/2014 13:27

It's only one weekend, I think yabu but 3 little ones and 1 with an ear infection on your own isn't fun, I admit.

whois · 07/02/2014 13:29

I think it's a nice thing to do with his Dad, hopefully he'll be taking your little ones when they aren't so little.

MoominsYonisAreScary · 07/02/2014 13:30

Yanbu especially as he didnt even discuss it with you

Redoubtable · 07/02/2014 13:31

Unbelievably pissed off seems a bit strong.
You will have an extraordinarily busy weekend...but if he gets the spirit of rugby, he'll understand that right now you're carrying the ball and being heavily tackled Grin and he's standing off.

So when is your turn?

WilsonFrickett · 07/02/2014 13:34

Did DH plan this, iyswim, or did his Dad think 'that would be a lovely idea for my DS 40th?'

Because if it's the second one then I think YABU.

If it's the first and there was no discussion, then I'd be pissed off too.

DeWe · 07/02/2014 13:34

As far as I can tell he mentioned to his dad that he'd like to go, and his dad sorted it. Which is really quite nice.
Your dh couldn't have discussed it with you beforehand because he didn't book the tickets etc.

If you'd mentioned to your dm something you wanted to do and she appeared with tickets all booked, would you turn it down?

TheDoctorsNewKidneys · 07/02/2014 13:48

If he didn't discuss it with you, YANBU - when you have a children, it's vital that you let your partner know about things like this before they get booked.

However, I think YWBU to stop him or get the hump with him. He's getting some time with his dad, and there's nothing to stop you going away another weekend for a spa break with someone else.

bragmatic · 07/02/2014 13:52

Not unreasonable at all.

Floggingmolly · 07/02/2014 13:55

It's a Rugby weekend, ffs! Why would anyone trot out the ridiculous "book yourself a spa day" cliche? Hmm. occasional rugby widow here. It's not a big deal

Megrim · 07/02/2014 14:04

Is it a 40th birthday present from his dad?

kslatts · 07/02/2014 14:06

YABU, your DH is going away for a weekend to watch rugby with his Dad, I really can't see why that would piss you off.

Unfortunate that you DC has an ear infection, but would you expect DH to cancel trip that is already booked and paid for because of it?

DoJo · 07/02/2014 14:34

I'd rather be at home with sick kids than have a spa weekend! When will women be advised to do something less boring when they have a chance? Books self tickets to a gig and doesn't even contemplate eyebrow waxing/the wearing of paper pants/communal steam room action.

Joysmum · 07/02/2014 14:39

Why would you be pissed off that your DH is getting quality time with his dad? You're perfectly capable of looking after your own children. His DF has mistakenly believed that you'd never begrudge him that trip.

My DH and I would both be happy for each other if that happened to either one of us. Says a lot that you aren't. Hmm

HauntedNoddyCar · 07/02/2014 14:41

YABU. It's the Rugby.