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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

Pissed women

55 replies

Boxingdaymonster · 27/12/2013 00:17

Just back from a party. Two women were really pissed. One married one single. Talking about sex loudly and single one how she liked uncomplicated sex with married men, bit of a laugh at first BUT it continued. Most other people merry and just having fun, not wild in Abu way.

Married ones DH got really pissed off and left, they got drunker and flirted with every man. Got my DH in a corner asking if he fancied single one, hands all over him etc. DH kept saying no, looked uncomfortable but did not push them off and walk awAy. Just had an almighty row as he says I am insecure but my point is that if two men encased me and touched me whilst asking if I wanted sex with them he would be pissed off - and I would have walked away.

So AIBU or is he?

As we left the party there was a women outside being restrained by her husband from going back in and punching the single woman who had proposition her husband . V.

OP posts:
Original poster
Boxingdaymonster · 27/12/2013 00:18

Any not Abu

OP posts:
LessMissAbs · 27/12/2013 00:21

I don't think I'd be comfortable staying at a party like that. Why didn't you leave? Your DH is being unreasonable.

CailinDana · 27/12/2013 00:21

If two drunk men intimidated you your dh would be pissed off? Really?

fifi669 · 27/12/2013 00:22

YANBU

ineedanexcuse · 27/12/2013 00:22

Yabu. Seems to me he did what he could to control the situation by not communicating with them. If he had pushed them away you can surely imagine the almighty fuss that would have created.

Poor bloke is in a lose lose position with you.

timidviper · 27/12/2013 00:22

You need to find some better company to keep

AnyFuckerForAMincePie · 27/12/2013 00:23

What a horrible party !

It sounds like an ex Jeremy Kyle contestant Christmas bash

Original poster
Boxingdaymonster · 27/12/2013 00:24

If they had hands all over me and were being very suggestive he's I would like to think he would be pissed off. lessmiss it was on,y the two women that were pissed! everyone else having a great time (kids there too), we left soon after.

OP posts:
nessus · 27/12/2013 00:24

seconded

You need to find some better company to keep

Original poster
Boxingdaymonster · 27/12/2013 00:25

anyfucker not Jeremy Kyle at all - just two people ruining it for everyone

OP posts:
CailinDana · 27/12/2013 00:26

I meant pissed off at you boxing.

AnyFuckerForAMincePie · 27/12/2013 00:27

No, not just two, what about the woman needing restrained outside the venue ?

and there were kids there ?

it sounds a horrible experience, anyway, some daft people have to ruin everything

ilovesooty · 27/12/2013 00:28

I'm with the other posters. It sounds horrible and I feel sorry for your husband. Harassment is very uncomfortable.

PeriodFeatures · 27/12/2013 00:32

thirded

You need to find some better company to keep

perlona · 27/12/2013 00:37

If two men sexually molested and intimidated me like that, dp would beat the hell out of them, he would be furious with them, not annoyed with meHmm If two women did that to him, he'd push them off because he's not scared to defend himself but if he were the quieter, gentler type, I'd get in there to tell them to piss off.

He looked uncomfortable, repeatedly told them no and you never thought to go in and rescue him? He probably didn't know what to do or was afraid to physically push them out of the way because not reacting physically toward women is so engrained in the majority of men - even in self defence.

yabvvvvvvu.

IsThatTrue · 27/12/2013 00:37

forthed (that looks utterly wrong Hmm)

You need to find some better company to keep

niceguy2 · 27/12/2013 00:38

YANBU. Your DH SHOULD have walked away but he didn't. That said, it's easy to say with hindsight what your DH should have said/done and have reacted. But when you are in that situation it's not always immediately obvious.

The bottom line though is the two pissed women were ruining it and they're to blame.

Original poster
Boxingdaymonster · 27/12/2013 00:48

Don't need better company - just two people out of 30 being dreadful. Rest of party lovely (until the restrained woman incident!) I did intervene by going over and getting him away - my point was AIBU or was he - am I insecure or am I right!

OP posts:
MidniteScribbler · 27/12/2013 00:52

Why are you angry at only him? If they weren't drunk and hanging over your husband, then it wouldn't have been an issue.

Alisvolatpropiis · 27/12/2013 01:00

Yabu.

If two drunk men had harassed you, would you expect your husband to be pissed of with you because of your lack of vocal/physical reaction?

No.

What was he meant to do, punch them?

ravenAK · 27/12/2013 01:06

Right.

Drunk women were completely out of order & will be waking up with an Overwhelming Sense of Creeping Doom in about 4 hours time. Silly buggers.

Dh should have been a bit more forthright in detaching them ('Unhand me, woman!') & should be telling you that it was all ghastly & embarrassing & horrible from his POV. Not telling you you are insecure.

Still, no real harm done...

MerryChristmasMollyHooper · 27/12/2013 01:10

He didn't do anything wrong.

Hindsight is brilliant but when this is actually happening it's hard to know what to do with yourself.

Do you think he enjoyed it?

TotallyBursarforHogswatch · 27/12/2013 01:12

Yabu.

He did nothing wrong. He just didn't do what you wanted him to do.
He reacted as best he could in the circumstances, it must have been uncomfortable and awkward (or worse depending on their actions/demeanor) and generally not very pleasant. But we should get in a bit of victim blaming because he's a bloke and is gagging for it all the time & must have enjoyed it? he didn't walk away, not because he was doing the best he could to manage the situation but because he was secretly loving it.
From his wife? Nice.

Caitlin17 · 27/12/2013 01:13

Sounds a vile party and your husband sounds the only sensible one there. The women were way out of order, sexual harassment works both ways. I'm guessing your man took the sensible view he's big enough to look after himself and not make the situation worse.

MrsLouisTheroux · 27/12/2013 01:19

He didn't do anything wrong. YABU. Sounds like a horrible party and you sound like a PITA. Why are you having a go at him? At worst he found their JezzaKyle behaviour funny and at best he was too much of a gentleman to react.
I presume these women are friends of the party host? Why didn't they intervene?

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