Talk

Flip

1 2 3

AIBU?

Pissed women

55 replies

Boxingdaymonster · 27/12/2013 00:17

Just back from a party. Two women were really pissed. One married one single. Talking about sex loudly and single one how she liked uncomplicated sex with married men, bit of a laugh at first BUT it continued. Most other people merry and just having fun, not wild in Abu way.

Married ones DH got really pissed off and left, they got drunker and flirted with every man. Got my DH in a corner asking if he fancied single one, hands all over him etc. DH kept saying no, looked uncomfortable but did not push them off and walk awAy. Just had an almighty row as he says I am insecure but my point is that if two men encased me and touched me whilst asking if I wanted sex with them he would be pissed off - and I would have walked away.

So AIBU or is he?

As we left the party there was a women outside being restrained by her husband from going back in and punching the single woman who had proposition her husband . V.

OP posts:

Report

SanityClause · 27/12/2013 11:41

I think what happened was this.

Boxing's DH was embarrassed to be in that position. Men in our society are not expected to need "rescuing" from women. The OP came to his rescue, and he was embarrassed that he had needed rescuing. He was then a bit gungho about it, and said, from a position of "safety", that he was fine, and hadn't needed rescuing at all.

The OP was upset that instead of saying thank you, as she would have done in a similar situation, he turned it on her, and denied that he had needed her help.

Boxing, I get why you would be annoyed. Perhaps you could let him know it wasn't that you didn't trust him, just that he looked so uncomfortable. And perhaps an apology for inadvertently embarrassing him might prompt the apology from him that you also deserve.

Report

BoneyBackJefferson · 27/12/2013 12:42

Chippin

What should the OP's DH have done to remove himself?

"He should have been able to jokingly or firmly been able to dispose of two stupid drunk women mauling him - if he wanted to."

Victim blaming at its finest.

Report

bochead · 27/12/2013 13:02

Would you have preferred him to escalate things to the point where he got himself arrested?

Unfortunately most people don't get a "how to deal with sexual harrassment" course or manual as teens. He coped with an unfortunate situation as best he could and without his wife's support.

Grow up.

Report

DoYouLikeMyBaubles · 27/12/2013 14:35

Looks like some of us believe victim blaming is okay as long as it's a man we're blaming...

Agree with boney

Report

Mia4 · 27/12/2013 14:35

Is he saying you are insecure because you accused him (straight up or by implication) of liking it or playing along OP? Could he see it as you implying it with your expectations? You seem to have expected him to be more pushy in a situation with people who are drunk and obviously volatile if they are fighting after anyway. Being more pushy then could have had them turning on him.

I've been in a similar position to your DH with a sleezy couple at a party before, in that situation the only time I would have told my DP that he was insecure is if he got pissed with me for not being more pushy because that would say to me that he was accusing me of liking it and being the kind of person who could cheat and I would think he was insecure and out of order.