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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

AIBU to find it irritating my DH doesn't shower everyday.

114 replies

bumpandkind · 14/10/2013 08:39

My Dh can happily go three days or more at a time without washing. He admittedly never smells bad ( although his hair gets greasy) and he thinks it is a middle class obsession with cleanliness that he doesn't have to be a part of. I don't find it disgusting but it does wind me up.

OP posts:
Edendance · 14/10/2013 08:41

I agree with him I'm afraid, I bath once every 2-3 days, and my partner showers similarly. Neither of us smell, if I did then I'd definitely bath more!! It's not necessary to wash more than that for me, everyone's different!

LaurieFairyCake · 14/10/2013 08:42

I'm very surprised he doesn't smell greasy and sweaty - my dh gets pretty smelly rushing about at work - showers twice a day most days.

I feel revolting if I don't shower every day - my crotch would stink.

AKissIsNotAContract · 14/10/2013 08:43

YANBU, what a minger. I bet he's got a cheesy helmet.

CoffeeTea103 · 14/10/2013 08:45

Yanbu, just Confused

Ihatemytoes · 14/10/2013 08:46

Ugh! That's just rank! What's middle class about wanting to be clean?? YANBU.

Flossyfloof · 14/10/2013 08:46

It's gross not to shower at least once a day. Takes two minutes - why would you not? And be clear - you do stink if you don't do so.

complexnumber · 14/10/2013 08:48

I agree with your DH, it does seem like some sort of obsession that certainly wasn't present 30 years ago (and people were not stinky then, I know because I was there)

I do confess that I have bought into this obsession and feel very uncomfortable if I have not had a morning shower.

Thants · 14/10/2013 08:48

I shower everyday but my friend at work showers every other day or every third day and although I mock him for this he never smells! I smelt right in his armpit lol and it is fresh! Lucky I suppose that he doesn't get smelly because I would reek.

IncognitoErgoSum · 14/10/2013 08:49

Why are people who shower every day so sure that they would "stink" if they didn't? I agree with OP's DH. Why does it wind you up if he doesn't smell and you don't find it disgusting?

PavlovtheCat · 14/10/2013 08:49

I don't shower every day. DH does. It winds me up. using hot water unnecessarily just to do the school run.

I wash very day though, that sorts out any risk of a potential smelly fango. I mostly shower as often as I do because my hair looks shocking otherwise, but even then I sometimes just stick the shower over it.

I am assured I don't stink. But, I am not wholly bothered if I have a tiny bit of armpit smell within my clean clothes (changed every day). It's not going to be significant or for very long as it's not like I go for weeks without a wash. 2-3 days. Of course if I am stinking I will shower, or if I have been to the gym, even if I showered that morning, so it's not out of principle it's just pointless to shower for no reason.

NicknameIncomplete · 14/10/2013 08:50

I dont shower everyday but i do wash everyday. How can you not wash & be clean & not smell.

PavlovtheCat · 14/10/2013 08:50

So, to answer your question. YABU.

Flossyfloof · 14/10/2013 08:52

But 30 years ago we didn't really have showers and indoor bathrooms were fairly new for many people. I hardly sweat but would feel horrible if I didn't shower every day. Why would even the possibility let alone the reality of smelling unpleasant not bother you? It makes no difference to me what I am doing during the day, I want to be clean and fresh all the time, because I can.

beepoff · 14/10/2013 08:52

YABU. We don't need to shower every day. Although I hope he washes his face/hands/privates in the sink or something.

Flossyfloof · 14/10/2013 08:53

Sorry that was to complexnumber.

mumtosome61 · 14/10/2013 08:54

Perception, innit? I'd shower twice a day if I a) had the time and b) didn't hate the drying my bits/powdering nonsense. I do usually in the summer because I hate the thought of smelling bad and being sweaty.

However - we've just moved into a bathless, showerless shithole of a house that we are doing up. OH's parents live not far, so we steal a few showers a week off them and I go to the gym and abuse the water there too.

Do we smell? I don't think so. We wet-wipe/flannel it up like a bunch of teenage festival goers. Is it a bit unromantic? Definitely. OH works with chemicals, so the chances of them being able to smell him over the spirits is unlikely Grin (farts are a different matter...)

Flossyfloof · 14/10/2013 08:54

Still U if you just have a wash in the sink. Why not just jump in the shower? Yuk yuk yuk.

MetellaEstMater · 14/10/2013 08:54

When pregnant if I didn't shower once, sometimes twice, a day you'd be able to smell me through the internet. The rest of the time once a day is no hassle and habitual but admittedly possibly not needed.

Original poster
bumpandkind · 14/10/2013 08:55

I'm really not sure why it winds me up. I think I may link it to making an effort for your partner and also I find it lazy.

OP posts:
cardamomginger · 14/10/2013 08:56

Personally I think YANBU, but it probably depends on whether he is using his penis beaker properly.

BlackholesAndRevelations · 14/10/2013 08:57

My dp stinks if he doesn't shower daily (sometimes twice). He works hard in a physical job. Yuk. I shower every day whether I have many plans or not, just don't feel awake or refreshed for the day without it.

gnittinggnome · 14/10/2013 08:59

Regardless of what other people do, if it bothers you you either have to a) agree to let it go, and let your DH do what he wants re hygiene or b) come to a compromise with him where he has a quick splash'n'dash around his pits and bits and you feel comfortable. Just carrying on feeling wound up by this (has he always been like this? so you knew when you married him?) is not going to work.

WallyBantersJunkBox · 14/10/2013 08:59

pavlov is a fango a Halloween themed minge? Grin

I don't shower everyday - every other day around gym sessions now. I find my skin is in better condition and my hair is definitely less fluffy with no itchy scalp. I work in an office so I don't really work up a sweat at work. I don't smell.

Infact I've become a bit obsessed with seeing how greasy my hair can get by washing it on Thursday and leaving it until Sunday if I don't have weekend plans. It feels amazing when you wash it after a really greasy Sunday!

sebsmummy1 · 14/10/2013 08:59

Back in the day people also had lice and fleas, so I don't think we want to go back there.

Personally I wash everyday and so does my OH (thankfully). I don't always wash my hair everyday and I certainly don't shave underarms or legs everyday, but I like feeling clean and until someone dictates I can't or financially we have to reign it back, I shall continue to scrub the fanjo daily.

IncognitoErgoSum · 14/10/2013 08:59

Flossyfloof, it's rather more than 30 years since showers were widespread and almost everyone had bathrooms and indoor toilets well before the 1980s.