AIBU to find it irritating my DH doesn't shower everyday.

[bumpandkind]

My Dh can happily go three days or more at a time without washing. He admittedly never smells bad ( although his hair gets greasy) and he thinks it is a middle class obsession with cleanliness that he doesn't have to be a part of. I don't find it disgusting but it does wind me up.

[MinesAPintOfTea]

I have a shower cap: my hair is much more manageable if washed every other day (avoids frizz explosion) so I keep it dry when I have a very speedy shower on the in-between days. It takes about 90 seconds and a quick rub dry with a towel.

Its less bother than filling a sink etc.

[SouredStones]

I'm with you OP!

[DontmindifIdo]

Incognito - I thought that would suggest that washing with water alone doesn't count as washing - she does wash her hair, she just doesn't use shampoo anymore. Also, if you don't use products of any sort on your hair it's fine to just wash and leave it to dry, but I have very frizzy natural hair (trust me, I've tried leaving it to do it's own thing with no products, it wasn't good), so the residue from those products needs removing - water alone will get out the grease and dirt from the air, but it won't shift the hair prodcut residue. (again, have tried, it felt sticky)

Bodies also can be washed without soap, I often shower and don't use shower gel or any products on my skin, there's a difference in washing just in water and not washing at all.

I'd be interested to read an article from someone who doesn't do anything to their hair, not saying the don't wash it but "wet it in the shower and rub" - but genuinely does nothing. I'm getting it would be minging in a very short length of time...

[GrandstandingBlueTit]

The whole idea of 'body washes' with face cloths is just grim. The faff involved, you might just as well get in the shower and actually get clean.

Besides, don't you just feel nice and refreshed and, yes, clean after a shower?! What's not to like about being and feeling clean? I don't get it.

[AllDirections]

He can go three weeks or more without a bath

[Notafoodbabyanymore]

I have to shower every night before bed. Can't go to bed dirty. OP, I reckon YANBU, it would annoy me if I was keeping myself clean and fragrant for DH and he couldn't be bothered to return the favour.

[BerstieSpotts]

You put moisturiser on when you're wet? Does that work and it doesn't go all sludgy and slimy? That could be something for me to add, then.

I'm sorry these questions seem basic I am quite young and for some reason that I can't pin down I am just really generally crap at knowing what normal social conventions actually are.

When I lived at home we would all have a bath about once a week and hair wash in the bath, we didn't have a shower, we'd have a standing-up wash of armpits at the sink, but that was it :(

BTW, hair does not wash itself. DS is a demon for having his hair washed and sometimes we leave it or just do it with water. Because he's running around playing etc it starts to smell after a while and you just have to grit your teeth and do it amidst the screams.

[DuckToWater]

I think every other day is fine, I shower daily but miss out the odd day. Leaving it three days with no other form of washing is a bit minging though. Also I wouldn't have sex with DH had he not showered that day at least.

[TheCrumpetQueen]

My partner over washes. He used to have two baths a day before he lived with me.

He has a long shower before going to the gym which puzzles me and then a bath after. His baths always end with a 10 minute shower which pisses me off, the water bill is high.

[IloveJudgeJudy]

We've just been sent a letter from our water company informing us we are compulsorily being installed with water meters in our area, so TheCrumpetQueen, your bills would definitely be sky-high.

We're going to have to shorten the lengths of our showers. None of us has baths, anyway. We all can't be bothered, but we do all have at least one shower per day. On the odd occasion as I have long hair, I don't wash it, but that is very unusual.

[SaucyJack]

I'm 32 and I've still never lived anywhere with a shower.

Feel like a right pauper now.

[SignoraStronza]

Yanbu. We only have one bathroom in this house so mornings are often manic. Even so, dh manages a shower at work. I'd go as far as asking what the point of showers in the evening are - surely after a night of sweating and rolling around in bed you'd need one in the morning before inflicting yourself on other people.

[Bumblequeen]

I cannot understand why anyone would choose not to shower/bath daily when they have access to soap and water.

I agree that people who smell do not realise it just as people whose homes smell become immune to it.

I sit next to commuters who smell as though they wake up and put their clothes on without washing. There is a distinct difference in smell of someone who bathes daily and someone who does not.

[Dawndonnaagain]

Nancy66 I don't smell. It's not a case of I can't smell it on me, nobody can. It's not there and yes I've checked with other people that I don't.

My dh doesn't smell either, he has a bath once a week, sometimes less than that, I wash him every day, twice a day, but getting him in and out of the bath on my own is not very easy. It takes nearly three hours to have a bath.

[Bowlersarm]

YABU.

[harticus]

YANBU OP - you need to nip this in the bud!
Never understood this "washing is bourgeois" crap.
I have a couple of posh arty friends who are shower dodgers.
I think they have grown so accustomed to their own stench they don't realise how awful they smell.
They always have that stale post coital whiff about them.
Vile.

[MrsCakesPremonition]

Um, he doesn't smell and the OP doesn't find it disgusting. The only problem seems to be that it winds her up.

In which case the problem is the OP's and she needs to find a way of dealing with it herself rather than expecting her DH to change.

[Mabelface]

I don't shower every day and I can assure you that I don't smell. if I did shower more, my skin would be dry as fuck. I only wash my hair twice a week too. I'm not dirty in the least.

[BurberryQ]

I do not bathe that often and i do not have a 'stench' or 'smell awful' - this obsession with showering everyday is so lower middle class

[Awomansworth]

I shower once a day, with an occasional bath in the evening. DH showers twice a day. DC get a bath daily too, but we are gradually intruding them to a shower instead.

I just feel right if I don't shower, it's part of my morning routine.

[KellyElly]

Humans sweat, whether they smell or not there is a build up of bacteria on their bodies if they don't wash for days. It's unhygienic.

[NoisyBrain]

I am SO going to show my dp this thread!
Before we lived together I have a feeling his showers were rather, er, infrequent. I remember once when I was at his place his ds expressed surprise that his dad was getting in the shower, which suggested it wasn't something he did often on his access weekends!

For me it's a sign of respect for your partner to make some effort with basic hygiene. DP and I debated this many times when we first moved in together. I didn't think showering every other day was an unreasonable request, he was more of the every 3-4 days mentality, out of pure laziness I suspect. I don't want to share a bed with someone who hasn't washed for 4 days let alone shag them, so he does (mostly) manage the every other day thing now.

I don't wash my hair every day but always have at least a quick freshen up of the 'important' bits. It makes me feel human, especially important with a 6-week old baby!

[KirjavaTheCorpse]

DS is three and shampoo has never touched his scalp. His hair is beautiful, soft and shiny and in lovely curls. He gets a water rinse once a week and I brush it using a boar brush every day.

And it smells lovely as well.