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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

To want DP to take me to work

67 replies

HolaGuapo · 13/09/2013 19:32

I get the train to work and this suits me fine - I pay for my season pass, and I quite enjoy the 15 minute commute. I often work Sundays and the train times have just changed so that the only train to where I work gets in 3 hours before my start time. What on earth am I supposed to do for 3 hours on a Sunday, especially as its getting colder now?
I asked DP if he will drive me - its about 18 miles from where we live. He says no as petrol is too expensive and he wants to change his car at the end of the year so is trying to keep his mileage down. I don't drive.
I'm 20 weeks pregnant and working 46-50 hour weeks. He works Monday-Friday 9-5. I often only have 1 day off a week (sometimes 2, sometimes none) and because of how my shifts fall, I can work 12 or 13 days in a row without a day off. I'm exhausted and I would quite like to not have to trudge round in the cold for 3 hours before my shift starts. AIBU?

OP posts:
MrsRogerSterling · 13/09/2013 19:34

Of course YANBU, he sounds a bit mean.

SauvignonBlanche · 13/09/2013 19:35

No, YANBU, your DP sounds a real catch.

Andro · 13/09/2013 19:35

If you don't have another commute option (bus?) then no, I don't think you're being unreasonable. Would it be worth you learning to drive and having your own car though?

Beamur · 13/09/2013 19:36

YANBU

MrsRogerSterling · 13/09/2013 19:36

Posted to soon. It's hardly excessive mileage. What does he suggest you do for 3 hours prior to going to work?

Original poster
HolaGuapo · 13/09/2013 19:36

I can't afford to learn to drive at the minute. Insurance is ridiculously high for people my age anyway so it would be pointless.

OP posts:
livinginwonderland · 13/09/2013 19:37

YANBU! He sounds like a selfish idiot.

CunfuddledAlways · 13/09/2013 19:38

can you tell work that train times have changed so that you can only start later / earlier?? see if they can do anything for you.

Can you drive? or bus?

yanbu though, would he drive you if you help with petrol costs?

MissCookieIsNotABiscuit · 13/09/2013 19:38

Good God that's horrible! Is he not concerned about you at all?!

Original poster
HolaGuapo · 13/09/2013 19:39

Apparently I'm the selfish one wanting to be taken to work when he does everything around the house! He doesn't do everything around the house at all, but given that he gets in around 2 hours before me and often when I get in I just want to eat and then go to bed (I leave the house at 7 and don't get back in till almost 7), he tends to do the washing up/hoovering/washing. I do it on my days off/weekends.

OP posts:
HooverFairy · 13/09/2013 19:42

Your DP sounds awful, really selfish. YANBU.
Can you speak to work about the difficulty in working Sundays because of the train changes? They might be able to help you or know someone who is travelling from your direction that could give you a lift? Im sure as a pregnant lady you have some entitlements there?

Another suggestion - speak to your DP before your baby arrives. He's in for a massive shock if he thinks that his mileage is a sacrifice.

HumphreyCobbler · 13/09/2013 19:42

he is being a totally selfish twat

I would do this for my DH without a second thought.

You are also pregnant. This is even more reason he should be helping you out.

bundaberg · 13/09/2013 19:43

yanbu at all! how mean :(

Fairylea · 13/09/2013 19:45

He doesn't want to afford the petrol?? What??

Surely as you are having a baby together you have joint finances and equal spending money, yes? I hope so. Therefore petrol spending is yours too.

He is being a total arse. Of course he should drive you.

I used to drive dh to work on a Sunday 28 miles away.

SpottyDottie · 13/09/2013 19:45

My God. Has he always been like this or is this new? You are currently 20 weeks pregnant. What the hell is he going to be like when the baby is here??

bundaberg · 13/09/2013 19:45

and let's be honest, you'd get to do more around the house if you didn't have to get to work 3 hours early ;-)

cjel · 13/09/2013 19:45

YANBU

Original poster
HolaGuapo · 13/09/2013 19:46

I have told him I will go and stay with my grandparents every Saturday night because they live near the city centre.

OP posts:
cjel · 13/09/2013 20:03

Still think he should be stepping up, if he wont now when you are expecting how on earth is your future going?

candycoatedwaterdrops · 13/09/2013 20:06

I assume this is his baby, is he going to refuse to help pay for the baby too? YADNBU, he sounds like an arse.

Inertia · 13/09/2013 20:08

He sounds like a charmer, putting his car mileage ahead of the wellbeing of his pregnant partner.

ShootMeNowPlease · 13/09/2013 20:09

YANBU. He sounds a jerk, unless there's something more to this. Why are you having a baby with him? What are his good points?

SeaSickSal · 13/09/2013 20:10

He's being a dick. But would it be cheaper with the insurance if you were just put on his? I didn't think it was very expensive that way.

Helpyourself · 13/09/2013 20:11

You must follow through on the grandparent option. If he moans remind him that he could take you and if not take a taxi.

Theonlyoneiknow · 13/09/2013 20:13

What? YANBU!! Of course he should give you a lift, GRRRRR

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