Active discussions

Meet the Other Phone. A phone that grows with your child.

Meet the Other Phone.
A phone that grows with your child.

Buy now

Please or to access all these features

Talk
AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

To really resent doing party bags for my dc's bday parties??

143 replies

justkeeponsmiling · 05/08/2013 09:10

It annoys the hell out of me!
This week we are having a bday party for 4yo DS and 8yo DD (bad planning from us a few years back, I know!)
Money is tight and we are already hiring a bouncy castle, feeding the party guests and entertaining them with games, etc. for 2-3 hours. And feeding the parents of the 4yo guests as well, if last year is anything to go by, as they all decided to stay and tuck into the buffet...
I don't mind any of that, but I really resent the custom of then having to present the guests with presents in the form of party bags for even turning up!
Maybe it's because I'm not from this country and I know that in my home country the concept of party bags simply doesn't exist (at least it didn't years ago...maybe that's changed now though?!)
Or maybe I'm just a miserable so and so... hmmm [hmmm]

OP posts:
NaturalBaby · 05/08/2013 09:13

Don't do it then. We've been given a small toy and piece of cake instead of party bags which was much easier for the parents.
Are you saying you expected all the parents to leave last year?! I expect all the parents to stay and supervise their children at our parties, and as I've invited them as well (and consider them friends) I provide cake and drinks for them.

CocacolaMum · 05/08/2013 09:14

I love a party bag personally but you do know its not a legal requirement?

gordyslovesheep · 05/08/2013 09:17

why bother then? Why bother with a party either? I think it's quiet unreasonable to organise something, invite people, decide to do party bags then be all resentful over it

BrokenSunglasses · 05/08/2013 09:17

I just see it as part of the cost of hosting a children's birthday party, no different from food, the cake, or entertainment.

They can be done really cheaply, but if you resent it that much, you don't have to do it.

FootOfOurStairs · 05/08/2013 09:17

Don't do it! I never have. We've done boxes with party tea leftovers in a box, or a nice fairycake and a balloon. You canput balloons on sticks to make them more special if ypu choose.

ITCouldBeWorse · 05/08/2013 09:19

This reply has been deleted

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

MintyChops · 05/08/2013 09:21

What about a piñata?

Growlithe · 05/08/2013 09:23

I don't mind them as it gets them all out after two hours. Grin

NoComet · 05/08/2013 09:23

Honestly the DCs will be happy with cake and a little packet of Haribos and a mini chocolate bar.

Stationary lucky dips also work well for 8y DDs. You can get multipacks of note books and thinks very cheap.

I too think party bags are a daft extra expense, but they do say home time very clearly.

Original poster
justkeeponsmiling · 05/08/2013 09:24

Sorry, this was meant to be lighthearted!

Naturalbaby no I didn't expect the parents to leave last year. I didn't mind them tucking into the buffet either. It was only when some of the dads started asking for cans of lager I began thinking who is this party actually for...!
FootofourstairsI really like that idea! I think I mainly resent spending money I don't have on meaningless plastic tat... Your suggestion sounds nice and practical

OP posts:
Ruprekt · 05/08/2013 09:25

Ds would agree with you.

He told me NOT to do partybags as the children should just be grateful to have been invited!

Fine by me. SmileSmileSmileSmile

wigglesrock · 05/08/2013 09:27

Bubble wands are your friend Smile Just hand them out when the kids leave.

NaturalBaby · 05/08/2013 09:31

asking for lager... yanbu!

jamdonut · 05/08/2013 09:34

Be like me and don't have parties then!

Just have a friend or two around for tea and playing whatever they want.
Much more sensible than entertaining a load of kids that your child may or may not get on with .

And I would hate having a load of parents staying to supervise!! (When did this start to happen? I've never taken my kids to a party where the parents stayed)

Yep,I think I fall into the miserable so-and-so camp! Strangely ,though, my kids have all grown up fine. Wink

Caboodle · 05/08/2013 09:39

Problem is, whether we like it or not, most children expect them. But - I agree re the plastic tat....I actually do not want lots of that rubbish in my house (we have enough McDs toys already without a plastic snake / mini water gun etc) Grin
I put in cake, balloon, box of raisins. Bubbles are a great idea - my DCs love them.
I'd do them - easy way to say GO HOME NOW (so I can sit down drink wine )

Caboodle · 05/08/2013 09:42

Just as an aside though - my 2 eldest DCs are sharing a party at a pricey venue where party bags are not included - I'm not sure whether to supply them for this party as I will have spent a fortune already (but party has a clear 'get your shoes on and go home' end).

NeoMaxiZoomDweebie · 05/08/2013 09:44

Don't do it if you can't do it with love. Grin I enjoy doing them....but can understand where you are coming from.

primallass · 05/08/2013 09:47

Poundland is your friend. Just get the bags from there and stick in some cake and a box of smarties.

SoupDragon · 05/08/2013 09:49

Think of them as now fuck off home bags instead.

Isoscelesnorks · 05/08/2013 09:49

I knew here was a benefit to having a child with ASD. We don't get invited to parties and we certainly don't have them!

SuffolkNWhat · 05/08/2013 09:51

This reply has been deleted

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

BeCool · 05/08/2013 09:57

my 5yo assures me that party bags are absolutely the highlight of her year. Kids LOVE them whatever is in there. They just love them.

But you don't have to do it. And I think YABU to be doing something you RESENT - it's a strong word for a "lighthearted thread". If you resent it, don't do it. Otherwise just consider it another part of your party budget along with hall hire, bouncy castle, food etc. make it work together.

I always like to provide food and drink for the adults - they are giving up there time so their child can come to your child's birthday. They usually have to hang around for a couple of hours and wait. Of course I want to treat these people as guests.

ElsieOops · 05/08/2013 10:04

If you didn't grown up here then you won't have had them as a kid. I remember loving finding a few little treats in them - and also enjoyed putting them together for my kids parties. But then I could only ever afford simple tea parties for about 6 children.

soverylucky · 05/08/2013 10:06

This reply has been deleted

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

bumblebeaver · 05/08/2013 10:11

I was impressed when we went to a party recently for a neighbour's DD where we made bead necklaces. Tonnes of beads and bit of thread set out on a blanket. One girl asked for her party bag and was told her necklace was her gift.

I have to admit I'm feeling the pressure though, DS will be 4 soon, and I am planning a really nice party for our friends and his and don't really want to do bags. I may be a wimp but I really don't want all the children asking me for party bags and having to tell them there aren't any - it seems to h. Very annoying.