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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

To really resent doing party bags for my dc's bday parties??

143 replies

justkeeponsmiling · 05/08/2013 09:10

It annoys the hell out of me!
This week we are having a bday party for 4yo DS and 8yo DD (bad planning from us a few years back, I know!)
Money is tight and we are already hiring a bouncy castle, feeding the party guests and entertaining them with games, etc. for 2-3 hours. And feeding the parents of the 4yo guests as well, if last year is anything to go by, as they all decided to stay and tuck into the buffet...
I don't mind any of that, but I really resent the custom of then having to present the guests with presents in the form of party bags for even turning up!
Maybe it's because I'm not from this country and I know that in my home country the concept of party bags simply doesn't exist (at least it didn't years ago...maybe that's changed now though?!)
Or maybe I'm just a miserable so and so... hmmm [hmmm]

OP posts:
Rufus43 · 05/08/2013 19:40

God keep forgetting this YANBU!!!! Ditch the bags!!!!!

Cheeseatmidnight · 05/08/2013 19:43

I did food boxes and put a little toy in each one ... Something really small. We got a party bag at the weekend and it had loads in and dd played with it for 5 minutes. Total waste

girliefriend · 05/08/2013 19:46

YABU I really don't understand why people get stressed about them, kids love them and they can be done really cheaply (look at party bag stuff on Amazon) a few sweets and a bit of cake and done!!

Personally i really enjoy putting them together.

SquidgyMummy · 05/08/2013 19:48

Meandering slightly but as Carole Middleton made her fortune with party bags, i had a nose at her site and was quite impressed by the gift cups quite reasonable 79p each, use again and fill with sweets

(no i don't work for her!!)

jackandjilly · 05/08/2013 19:54

I love a good party bag, gives the message loud and clear, party is overGrinGrin

MrsH1979 · 05/08/2013 20:05

I'm not a big fan of party bags. I've gone for a 10 pack of Julia Donaldson books (x2) for DD's 3rd party from Book People - works out £1 each. Personally I'd prefer a book / sticker book than a bag of chocolate / sweets / plastic tat. But it's personal taste. I'm sure as a child I"d have loved either!

HahaHarrie · 05/08/2013 20:09

Don't do them if you don't want to. It's more important to host a fun party.

And if you are going to bags filled with lots of cheap plastic tat, definitely don't do one. Waste of money and it's just land fill.

Things we've done or received that have been great are:
playmobil figures (£2 each, but purchased on a 3 for 2 offer)
helium balloons
made at the party and taken home craft (eg bead bracelets, medieval princess hats, fairy wings) and cooking, including a recipe and cookie cutter that were used at the party.
books (the Book People are great)
photos from a photo booth (Aunty with a digital camera, printer and props)
bubbles
a chidlren's magazine
matchbox car

znaika · 05/08/2013 20:15

This reply has been deleted

Message deleted by MNHQ. Here's a link to our Talk Guidelines.

JugglingFromHereToThere · 05/08/2013 21:33

Ahh, you're so sweet and appreciative znaikaSmile

raisah · 05/08/2013 21:43

Squidgymummy the yellow moon company do multipacks of gift cups far more cheaply than party pieces. I always order from them & their service has always been good.

Wafflenose · 05/08/2013 22:18

I'm not keen on them, but have done them once or twice. When the DCs were tiny, I tended to give their friends a balloon and a piece of cake, and maybe a cheap book (bought in a multipack or pound shop) too.

When DD1 was about 4, she had quite a small party, and I bought a load of white T shirts for a couple of quid each, and tied dyed and decorated them with sequins. The DC loved them! It took quite a while, but it's my hobby and enjoyed doing it. Some of the parents thanked me for giving those out, instead of the usual foam glider and plastic tat. I'm thinking of doing the same again this year.

whois · 05/08/2013 22:21

Ah you're being grumpy Op.

Party bags are ace.

Cake, pack of mini-haribo or smarties or something, balloon, bubbles. Some.

Or cake and a book.

Or just cake.

whois · 05/08/2013 22:21

That should be DONE not SOME.

MrsTedMosby · 05/08/2013 22:27

DS went to a party recently and they didn't get a party bag at the end. I was delighted not to have some plastic tat to throw in the bin. He was happy with the slice of cake he got, and didn't notice the lack of bag.

So don't do them if you don't want. I was surprised but not disappointed, and I don't think any of the kids noticed.

MadeOfStarDust · 05/08/2013 22:34

cake , bag, balloon tied through handle - get them out, people go home......

but really - not compulsory..

Thewhingingdefective · 05/08/2013 22:51

Honestly, don't stress about it. No need to make party bags a big issue. Most kids just like a little memento to take home from the party - a balloon and a bit of cake will do, but an extra little something like some sweets, stickers, temporary tats etc make their day.

Or do something like an activity where they make something to take home - make a badge or party hat, or decorate a big cookie or something. Then stick in a paper bag with name on and tie with a bit of parcel ribbon.

My kids love party bags and they are only ever filled with a few sweets, slice of cake and 2-3 cheap little toys, nothing amazing or high quality.

chocoluvva · 05/08/2013 23:09

Sorry - I've only skimmed through - but a suggestion:

Give them all a named empty bag into which they will put sweets that they find during a sweetie treasure-hunt and/or that they managed to throw into a plastic bowl. Do tell them that the sweets they win/find are to go into the party bag for going home with them.

My DC loved these games. It did used to need a bit of diplomatic/sneaky sharing sometimes if there were slower DCS who didn't manage to find/get very many.

chocoluvva · 05/08/2013 23:10

Cupcake with their name iced on it? Time-taking though.

idiot55 · 05/08/2013 23:46

Book people book packs and split.

Cake , balloon. Job done

Arsescratcher · 06/08/2013 00:46

I hate the crap that usually comes back in them - a whistle that your want to stamp on after 10mins of them being home, or the bubbles that make or a slippy floor (I sound like a miserable sod I know)

The last few parties I did I -

One year went to pound land and bought the children each a story book. There were some beautifully illustrated fairy tales and we just wrapped them up and did a box so they helped themselves on way out.

Last year we had a garden fairy party so I got some mini bottle of fairy dust and we put them in organza bags, worked out less than 99p per child.

I've just stocked up at dotcom gift shop for the next party as their stuff was as little as 10p an item!

Arsescratcher · 06/08/2013 00:48

Oh I've also done face painting at a party, watched some YouTube clips and they got to get a face painting and slice of cake at home time!

differentnameforthis · 06/08/2013 02:06

1] Don't do them
2] cancel the bouncy castle..seriously, poncy & 'trying to hard' ciome to mind when people arrange stuff like that, daft too on a tight budget!
3] don't feed the parents (I just did a 4yr old birthday, and didn't lay on food for the parents, the party isn't for them)

JenaiMorris · 06/08/2013 06:59

I loved doing party bags

JugglingFromHereToThere · 06/08/2013 09:01

Don't cancel the bouncy castle ! I think they're fun and make for a good party atmosphere if you're having a party at home in the garden. Smile

Kytti · 06/08/2013 09:06

I hate party bags. I have grudgingly conformed... but I only put a balloon, a couple of wrapped sweets and a piece of cake in! Like the others say, gets everyone out the door well!