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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

To really resent doing party bags for my dc's bday parties??

143 replies

justkeeponsmiling · 05/08/2013 09:10

It annoys the hell out of me!
This week we are having a bday party for 4yo DS and 8yo DD (bad planning from us a few years back, I know!)
Money is tight and we are already hiring a bouncy castle, feeding the party guests and entertaining them with games, etc. for 2-3 hours. And feeding the parents of the 4yo guests as well, if last year is anything to go by, as they all decided to stay and tuck into the buffet...
I don't mind any of that, but I really resent the custom of then having to present the guests with presents in the form of party bags for even turning up!
Maybe it's because I'm not from this country and I know that in my home country the concept of party bags simply doesn't exist (at least it didn't years ago...maybe that's changed now though?!)
Or maybe I'm just a miserable so and so... hmmm [hmmm]

OP posts:
Iwaswatchingthat · 05/08/2013 13:07

I am happy to do party bags.

The kids love them and they don't have to be expensive.

I don't love tat either, but my dds do.

They won't be little forever - I wouldn't stress about it. Just give them some cake and some bubbles.

It means they know it is home time too!

Enjoy your party OP.

SpiceAddict · 05/08/2013 13:18

Don't want to sabatage thread but.....please don't put balloons in party bags!

They are incredibly dangerous as children can swallow them when trying to blow them up. Also - small balls, lollipops, boiled sweets, flimsy plastic stuff....

Why do people lose all sense when it comes to party bags? This is stuff that my DS has got when he was still under 5. Even for older kids, many people will have younger siblings around so please think about this.

Cake, some crayons & pack of chocolates like milkyway/stars/buttons - lovely.

LazyMonkeyButler · 05/08/2013 13:39

I used to enjoy making the party bags! They are certainly not something you have to do, but I agree that they are useful to signify the end of the party Smile.

MyDarlingClementine · 05/08/2013 13:47

I rememeber LOVING party bags too. You only get one childhood, dc love them, its up to you what you put in them...they do not need much.

twinkletoedelephant · 05/08/2013 14:24

You can get a 9 pack of bubbles from the pound shop with the twins party later this year I have been buying a few packs of bubbles and the stick things for balloons they will also get a packet of haribo and some cake kids love party bags

Now dd is older they tend to get a story or puzzle book each

Panzee · 05/08/2013 14:28

Party delights sell bags of tat that you drop straight into the party bag, for a quid each. If it's the faff you hate.

Mopswerver · 05/08/2013 14:34

I won't do it.

Who really needs more cheap junk in the house?

Just put a piece of cake and a small party-related item in the bag e.g one year we had a puppy themed party and I bought a pack of those miniature plastic dogs and put one each in the bag with the cake. Another yr (magic party) I made & decorated rabbit shaped biscuits and they all went home with one of those.

JugglingFromHereToThere · 05/08/2013 16:23

I think they're quite nice at the right age (about 4 to 7) before and after that one little going home present (bubbles/ lucky dip ?), or a balloon, or a piece of cake will all do perfectly well instead !

wendybird77 · 05/08/2013 16:31

I'm also from another country and do not understand the party bag. I'll probably make my kids social pariahs. I also don't understand cake in bags - eat the cake at the party! It gets manky and smashed in bags and I can't bare the thought of wasted cake. I'm now concerned that all the kids are going to hate my kids party this month as I wasn't going to do party bags - I think I'll have to rethink this. Love the idea of comics / colouring books.

WorraLiberty · 05/08/2013 16:36

They're a bit of fun and the kids seem to love them

That's all you have to 'understand'.

Obviously you don't have to provide them though.

elk4baby · 05/08/2013 16:37

We had an adult's birthday party a couple of months back. As most of our friends have families, there were quite a few children as well. Of course, there were no party bags. But one child was in hysterics (and I do mean a full blown tantrum, crying and screaming and all) because she didn't get a party bag when it was time to go home. Mind you, the parents are a little soft for my liking, as they almost never say 'NO' to their kids. I was forced to look through whatever was left from DCs party from the previous year to find some plastic tat and put it in a bag just so she'd calm down. Hmm Shock

Why is this tradition for giving useless junk to the guests exists is beyond me. But every year, in addition to planning my DCs birthdays, cooking the food, planning entertainment, I have to buy a load of cheap crap and spend the night before stuffing it all into bags.... And any party that my kids are invited to, produces another one of these 'bags' - filled with crap that ends up being spread around our house like a plague.

Could someone PLEASE explain what is the point of all this?!

elk4baby · 05/08/2013 16:42

(I'm really not a mean person, I swear :))

chillinwithmyyonis · 05/08/2013 16:44

SpiceAddict, I don't get the giving of balloons (flat ones) either, especially to preschool children. My dd has been given them at preschool and reception when its someones birthday, it did make me Hmm, yeah thanks for the choking hazard!

JugglingFromHereToThere · 05/08/2013 16:54

I do agree wendy and have often gone down the eat the cake at the party if you want it route - but there's always someone who seems to want to take it home with them Hmm

I think we do seem to have a very strong tradition here now that they won't go home til they've been given something Grin

LynetteScavo · 05/08/2013 17:02

SoupDragon Mon 05-Aug-13 09:49:13
*Think of them as now fuck off home bags instead.8

This.

A piece of cake and a helium balloon should do if if you really hate party bags.

I never received party bags at the end of a party as a child.....it was a piece of cake to take home, and maybe a lollipop and that was it! [old gimmer]

Growlithe · 05/08/2013 17:26

What are you all doing with them that it takes you all night to fill them? Confused

jollydiane · 05/08/2013 17:37

Just a suggestion, get a piping bag (£6.19 for 50) here, fill with sweets, and secure the top with string or ribbon like this

HaroldLloyd · 05/08/2013 17:58

I invited my friend to DS first birthday party and as most of the guests were about one or under mentioned there were going up be no party bags.

Dropped out at last minute and also put ah well at least you won't have see my DC cry when they don't get a party bag!

I was very shocked.

Themobstersknife · 05/08/2013 18:09

We gave out fab lollies at the end of DDs party and they went down a treat.

HoikyPoiky · 05/08/2013 18:56

I don't get the angst over things like this. If you don't want to do then don't. It's fine Smile It really is that simple.

WhispersOfWickedness · 05/08/2013 19:02

I enjoy doing them and the kids love them Smile You certainly don't have to do them if you don't want to, I don't think my kids expect them!

FreakoidOrganisoid · 05/08/2013 19:22

I dont like party bags particularly but in the past have done:
Helium balloon
Grow your own sunflower/pumpkin/tomato pot
Bracelet
Books
Soap/bathbomb
Milkshake glass
Medal
Foam baseball bat& ball

Plus usually some bubbles or a fun size back of buttons

skyeskyeskye · 05/08/2013 19:24

They shouldn't be expected, but sadly they are. My friends DD 6yo gets very stroppy if there is no party bag. Recently DD was at a party, they said no party bags. DD asked where hers was when we went home and I just explained that not everybody does them and that she shouldnt expect one.

When I had a party a couple of years ago, I explained to guests that I would rather pay the money towards a bouncy castle for them all to have fun on, than to waste money on rubbish in party bags. Most parents were OK about it.

raisah · 05/08/2013 19:32

I love doing party bags & the yellow moon company is my friend as they also raise funds for charities. I usually put bubbles, crayons, mini note books, erasers & sweets. The book company does sets of books quite cheaply so it's easy to keep costs down.

I serve birthday cake during the party as pudding but put a cupcake in the party bag as it's a bit more robust.

Rufus43 · 05/08/2013 19:39

I did party bags when the children were little. Whole load of tat which always goes down well but the best ones were when I got a load of age relevant books and handed them out.

Now I do a mix of cheapy sweets and lollies together with the cake or a large (cheap) bags of sweets which you can get if there is an offer on

I explained to my daughter that if she only had 2 or 3 friends to her party tha they could all go to Claire's and buy a little something,

I remember having what turned out to be the last party for my then 12 year olds and the boys asking me where their party bags were!!! They go a bag of sweets and this followed a day out, McDonald's, and a video with unlimited sweets and popcorn!!!

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