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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

To wonder what makes a wedding good?

75 replies

Whatmakesitgood · 01/08/2013 21:16

I was wondering what makes a wedding good for the guests?

This is prompted by a conversation with a friend about a wedding we'd both recently attended.

I thought it was shit. The whole thing was totally disjointed as the venue was too small for all the guests to be in the same room. Some were at the bar, some in the open plan bit and some outside.

No one told us when the buffet was served and I never saw desserts or the wedding cake being served but apparently they both were.

My friend enjoyed it because a big group of us, who don't get together very often, had a chance to catch up.

I can see their point as, from that perspective, I did enjoy it, it was just a shit wedding. I mean the bride and groom might as well have not been there for all we saw them.

What should a good wedding be like?

OP posts:
HollyBerryBush · 01/08/2013 21:18

Where you can relax and enjoy the company.

Souredstoneshasasouredpebble · 01/08/2013 21:19

A bride and groom who are right for each other
All guests pleased to be there and happy for the couple
Right sized venue for number of guests
Appropriate amount of food and drink
Good music

CocacolaMum · 01/08/2013 21:19

Organization is key. But really its the guests who make a wedding, if they decide it will be a shit atmosphere then it will be.

YoureAllABunchOfBastards · 01/08/2013 21:20

Mine was ace.

Good food, good venue, good mix of people, excellent disco, plenty of places to wander off to if you needed a break - pool room, other bar, gardens.

We had 75 people at the main do and another 35 - 40 for the evening, so nice and easy to speak to everyone, too. I chatted to everyone who came at some point.

Ruprekt · 01/08/2013 21:20

A wedding does not need all the extras. Imho.

No one comments on a lack of

Favours
Wedding cars
Ott table decorations inc fishbowls

People want

Lovely food
Lots to drink
Good music
Time to chat

And no one likes the big gap between church and reception. Have drinks and nibbles asap after the church to allow the day to flow.

YoureAllABunchOfBastards · 01/08/2013 21:21

Oh, and a free bar for the afternoon and the first part of the evening, plus Pimms and wine laid on during the afternoon.

justmyview · 01/08/2013 21:22

What makes a wedding good?

When the guests appreciate how lucky they were to be invited to the bride and groom's special day instead of going online to advertise to all and sundry that it was "a shit wedding"

YABU

KirstyJC · 01/08/2013 21:23

Lots to drink, nice place to sit/stand/dance, not too many long speeches (unless the drink has been flowing for a while) and regular nibbles/food.

Not leaving guests for upwards of 3 hours while a selection of photos is done, with no food and only a paying bar....

Mainly free booze is what I'm getting at.Smile

Ruprekt · 01/08/2013 21:23

And if you have kids there, provide for them properly.

Food AND entertainment.

Original poster
Whatmakesitgood · 01/08/2013 21:23

Some of the evening guests didn't actually speak to the bride and groom at all because of the venue layout and the fact they were looking after their kids all night.

From my point of view it was nice to meet up with friends I don't see very often but I could have done without the whole buying a wedding present/ outfit fiasco for all it turned out to be.

OP posts:
Souredstoneshasasouredpebble · 01/08/2013 21:25

I think people who expect more than a couple of glasses of wine at the meal and a toasting drink are cheeky cunts tbh

Souredstoneshasasouredpebble · 01/08/2013 21:25

Kids don't need entertaining, they didn't at mine, they just ran round like lunatics and kept themselves to themselves

They do at most weddings tbh

Original poster
Whatmakesitgood · 01/08/2013 21:26

justmyview why the fuck should I be grateful to be invited to a wedding? In my view the bride and groom of any wedding should be grateful people chose to share their day with them and should make the day as enjoyable as possible for the guests.

OP posts:
CocacolaMum · 01/08/2013 21:28

LOL wow, you sound like the wedding guest from hell tbh and I highly doubt you would have been happy with any kind of wedding. I hope you were invited out of a matter of politeness and these people realise what a twunt you are.

Justforlaughs · 01/08/2013 21:28

Well thought out table plan, entertainment and plenty of space.
Best wedding I've been to was last year, beautiful venue, service, photos, reception and party all at the same place. Pick and mix olde worlde sweet bar kept guests interested and broke the ice during photo shoots. We (me and DH) were sat on a table with total strangers, but all very friendly (older, as in not teenagers), we had a really good time. Evening party got split into a ballroom with disco and a smaller quieter conservatory area, where us "oldies" sat and talked. Absolutley fabulous!

LaGuardia · 01/08/2013 21:30

I want wedding favours. And buck fizz and canapés while the photos are being done. I want quality food and top notch entertainment. I want to feel special and that some money has been spent on me. There have been too many Asda weddings lately. Very poor show imo.

JADS · 01/08/2013 21:30

A bride and groom who are right for each other. If they are likely to divorce in a year then that's a real dampenerer.

Good food, enough drink for merriment without people going over the top, not disappearing for hours to have photos taken, lots of opportunities to mingle, short heart felt speeches

Original poster
Whatmakesitgood · 01/08/2013 21:32

cocacola I'm really not hard to please but I just think a wedding where you sit around all night with the guests you know and don't speak to the bride and groom, don't get informed of when the food is served and have to buy your own drinks is really much of a wedding.

OP posts:
HorryIsUpduffed · 01/08/2013 21:34

A good party that happens to celebrate a marriage.

So, good food, plenty to drink (not necessarily free, but it helps), something to do/watch but no compulsion to do so, people you want to spend time with.

And a cheese table. Definitely cheese.

Justforlaughs · 01/08/2013 21:36

I'd have to say that I think expecting free drinks is a bit much (or it would be if I was there Grin), yes to a drink when you arrive at the reception, but I wouldn't expect anyone to offer a free bar. As for guests standing round talking to people they know Confused why didn't you mingle if you wanted to? Not sure about not being made aware of when food was served, is it possible that you didn't hear the announcement - being all caught up with your friends and all?

specialsubject · 01/08/2013 21:37

'special day?' It is the old 'public statement of a private intention' with a good party attached.

People travel a long way and give up a lot of time, plus spend money. So they need good tasty food, refreshments both alcoholic and non, not to be kept waiting for ages, a chance to speak to the happy couple and some creature comforts.

not worried about takeaway tat aka favours, chair covers and flashy menus.

CocacolaMum · 01/08/2013 21:37

But if the cake and desserts were eaten by others then other people must have known it was being served..

Tinkerisdead · 01/08/2013 21:38

The best wedding i went to i didnt even know the couple as i was a plus one! But it was sooo relaxed and personal yet classy. It was in a marquee in a field, the bride snd her mum had decorated it with bunting and wildflowers and had made pots of jam as favours. All their families made the desserts so you got to try grannies trifle, aunt marges tiramisu etc.

I hated my own wedding(i love dh tho so all is well) but everyone seemed to love it. But my wedding and the one above we both made sure there were canapes and drinks during photos. People really appreciated not standing for hours waiting to be fed because lets face it you usually miss lunch getting ready/travelling and then you find out the meal is later.

My wedding had lots of rooms and thats why i didnt like it because it was awkward to get round people like i wanted to but the guests preferred it as they could get into groups and really use it as a social gathering.

pointythings · 01/08/2013 21:39

Relaxed atmosphere
Friendly people - even the ones you don't know
Consideration for children if invited
Regular food
Enough drink - but not too much
Good planning - especially meals, so everyone has what they like to eat
Bride and groom who clearly love each other and want everyone to share in that (should really have put this first)

I'm describing the wedding of a colleague and friend I attended last year with DH and the DDs. Colleague phoned me to make sure she spelled my DDs' names right as they were specifically invited. It was a day we will all remember for ever.

yabyum · 01/08/2013 21:40

Lots of booze. A sense that the guests' enjoyment is important. Lots of people prepared to dance all night. A happy bride.