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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

to ask why you stopped talking to a friend.

232 replies

Chromolithograph · 18/06/2013 18:35

I stopped talking to a friend because my DS really did n't like playing with her DS, meetings with the kids were stressful. No major drama with the grown ups, just gradually decreased our contact. Friends for a season.

Why have your friendships fallen apart?

OP posts:
lolaflores · 18/06/2013 18:37

same as you. My dd was on the receiving end of a lot of horrible behaviour from her ds, she kept minimizing it. I said no more thanks and left it at that. Thems the breaks sometimes.

Thistledew · 18/06/2013 18:40

I stopped talking to a male friend after he sent me a text message telling me how much I wanted him to get naked and to have sex with him. I didn't.

maternitart · 18/06/2013 18:45
  1. Because he didn't even bother texting after I ended up in hospital to check I was OK (he was there when I called the ambulance). Although we did become loose friends again after a few years
  1. Because she flakes out constantly and doesn't reply to texts or answer calls when we're supposed to be meeting up but haven't made firm plans (she hates making them). She doesn't know I'm cooling it yet though ;)
IfIonlyhadsomesleep · 18/06/2013 18:49

Because she makes me feel inferior with her lifestyle, house and holiday. I have other friends with more than her and dont feel like that with them because I feel they value my qualities and skills. Can't put my finger on it - she just makes me feel less worthy every time I see her. So I'm not going to.

SarahAndFuck · 18/06/2013 18:50
  1. Because his new girlfriend decided my wedding was an extravagant ploy to make him jealous and 'steal' him for myself Hmm
  1. Because she seems to be in competition with everyone, blows hot and cold about speaking to people and her child is violent to mine but she won't accept that even when she sees it happening.
StuffezLaYoni · 18/06/2013 18:51

Because when my vile, cheating boyfriend dumped me (I know, I should have done the dumping) she decided she'd rather be friends with him and would go and get drunk with him, then bring him back to the house (we lived together, we're students) and stay up having loud, screechy, giggly, drunken conversations with him until early hours.
She was a right cow and I hope she's a MNer now. Yeah, Jill, I await your apology.
(Possibly should have let this go after ten years.)

TWinklyLittleStar · 18/06/2013 18:51

Because she was patronising, dull and never once made any effort to spend time with me.

raisah · 18/06/2013 18:52

Slowly growing apart, different interests, loyalties and directions in life. No big fall out, just the odd text once every few years.

Bobyan · 18/06/2013 18:54

Because she never once inquired about my dd when we were waiting to find out if dd would need brain surgery.

Oohmeback · 18/06/2013 18:57

Bitch kept trying to 'out' my teenage son. Last straw on top of other offensive, disrespectful, inappropriate and rude behaviour.

ImTooHecsyForYourParty · 18/06/2013 18:58

I've never stopped talking to a friend.

I have stopped talking to people I have discovered are not actually friends.

I have let contact drift with people because we were friends of (mutual) convenience, rather than friends for life. (pally with them because our kids were in the same class, or because WE were in the same class at school etc Grin )

I find it easier to walk away without a backward glance if I first recategorise people according to either their actions or the situation.

I expect you'll say that's heartless Grin Most people do.

But I advise you all to really look at those people you call friend and see if they are indeed any such thing.

laloue · 18/06/2013 18:59

Because I did all the legwork (well, driving 200 miles each way) every time and it was never reciprocated (even when she didn't have kids).
Because ringing me when I've driven almost all those miles to say you can't meet up because DS has a runny nose can only happen so often.(Not four times in 6 months)
And because you shouldn't ask for something back that you gave as a gift,but decide you now need again.
We seem to be edging back towards friendship now, bit by bit through FB of all things.
We shall see.

1Veryhungrycaterpillar · 18/06/2013 18:59

I confided that I was relieved to be going back to work part time and he next time I said I love you to my baby she put on a baby's voice and said 'but Mummy you can't wait to get rid of me'

Raum · 18/06/2013 18:59

He fathered two kids by two different women the first of whom was a great mother then moved onto a third.. I didn't know the second woman but just started to wonder why I spent time with such a knob who was completely different from me.

NoRainNoRainbow · 18/06/2013 19:05
  1. Ditch me every time she got a new girlfriend, would only want to know me when she was heart broken, then ditch me again when her next conquest came along. And whenever we did meet, would always bring up the past to try and upset/humiliate me, always had to stick the knife in. Was ridiculously self obsessed.
  1. I lost a baby and was seriously ill in hospital, she knew and didn't contact me. Then two months later I get a text.....I've been sooooo busy, got a new job and moved house :) I hear things have changed for you?

Just that, nothing else, says it all really!

Pancakeflipper · 18/06/2013 19:05

Because she told a mutual friend I had said a load of nasty stuff about mutual friend.

Mutual friend was devastated but thankfully twigged I wasn't a gossipy/bitch behind your back type and confronted me. But only after several months a several glass of wine as Dutch courage.

In fact mutual friend and I stopped talking to her at the same time once we realised.

I often wonder what other crap she told to people I know.

She is the original toxic friend.

Jan49 · 18/06/2013 19:09

I considered dumping a male friend but haven't done it. We email so I'd just leave longer between emails. Haven't met for 20 years.

Last summer we ended up in a B & B as part of a house move and it included my birthday. It was very stressful as for a few nights everywhere was full and we ended up in some dodgy places. My friend emailed me really pushing for an address, saying he'd been ill and his brother (40-something man) had bought the birthday card on his behalf and would be so disappointed if it couldn't be sent.Hmm I was annoyed but ended up lying that if he sent it to my old address I'd get it. Actually it was being redirected to a relative. I felt so p*issed off that at a time when we were scarily close to homeless he was pushing for an address for a birthday card. I'd spent months explaining our plans so everyone knew we'd have no address for a while.Angry

lobsterkiller · 18/06/2013 19:11

Because she lied and lied and lied and when she'd finished lying she lied some more about anything and everything.

MyDaydream · 18/06/2013 19:14

I stopped talking to a friend after she sent naked photos of herself to my ex less than a week after we'd broken up and told him over exaggerated accounts of things I'd said and done when I really just wanted to get on with my life. So I did,I just had to leave all my friends behind too.

YouTheCat · 18/06/2013 19:17

Because I was always there for her through her very many troubles but when mine came along she told me anything bad that happened to me was my own fault.

Because she left our (shared) house and all of the bills and never gave me a penny towards them.

Same person. Over 20 years ago and I wouldn't spit on her if she was on fire. I nearly had a breakdown because of her.

mrstigs · 18/06/2013 19:23

Because she behaved like a mardy brat when she was the only bridesmaid at my wedding. She acted like it was the most unimportant inconvenience she had ever been involved in. Then had a big wedding that she raved on and on about like it was a royal ball and not only wasn't I part of it I wasn't even invited!
She'd been a bit 'isn't my life better than yours' for a while so it was no surprise or great loss.

KingRollo · 18/06/2013 19:29

This reply has been deleted

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

tabulahrasa · 18/06/2013 19:33

'Because she lied and lied and lied and when she'd finished lying she lied some more about anything and everything.'

That including things like multiple differing disabilities for her DC, even the one that does definitely have one and most of the stories are lifted directly from mine and other people's experiences about our DC...

Also she told someone that I have a drug problem, I don't btw, you know, just in case that wasn't clear, lol

Solari · 18/06/2013 19:33

Incompatible behaviours/lifestyle. By which I mean I (and the people I had surrounded myself with) came from very unhealthy backgrounds (violence, alcoholism, drugs, etc).

When I finally decided that I had to break free of it, I had to let almost all of the friendships go. I don't know if its the same for most friends, but mine reacted very badly to my attempts at change, to the point I just had to cut them loose.

Latara · 18/06/2013 19:33

Because she's turned out to be a two-faced cow who ignored me when i was really ill and lied to a mutual friend.. Angry

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