to ask why you stopped talking to a friend.

[Chromolithograph]

I stopped talking to a friend because my DS really did n't like playing with her DS, meetings with the kids were stressful. No major drama with the grown ups, just gradually decreased our contact. Friends for a season.

Why have your friendships fallen apart?

sorry, more to the point, because she fired her nanny for having time off sick because the nanny was hospitalised with complications with a miscarriage.

Because she never bothered with me after my mum died and didn't come to the funeral. Showed me how little she cared.

because we would only meet up on her terms, when it was convenient for her. And she had a friend hierarchy: friends in the elite circle who could go with her on mini breaks to Paris and friends who were allowed to eat out with her and friends who were allowed only for coffee.
I always felt about 14 around her.
So I ditched her 14 year old stylee.

She punched me in the face because she thought her dp was flirting with me. He wasn't. I didn't accept her excuse of being "really really drunk and I hadn't eaten" the next day and we haven't spoken since.

I was aware she had a drink problem previously but now armed with the knowledge she is a violent alcoholic I have zero interest in sharing air space with her never mind speaking to her again.

Have never had screaming fits with friends, well not since teenage years

Stopped making plans with a serial 'rain checker'.

Let a friend drift for lying - basically her actions showedhow unimportant the friendship was to her. It's her loss.

Because she was a "magpie", always after the shiniest and coolest friends. Most of our mutual friends had fallen out with her, but thanks to my mum's mantra of ' make new friends but keep the old' I stayed in touch. Straw came when she didn't come to my 30th because she was at her new bestie's drinks (despite the fact I'd known her for 21 years, compared to a few.months with her new pal). When I realised a few weeks later I was pregnant I didn't bother telling her, 2 years on I've never once gears from her.

Heard from her....

Because I caught her boyf cheating on her, and told her and listened while her boyf called me everything under the sun and said I should have knocked on the door first. And she did nothing to defend me.

Because he RSVPed yes to our engagement party and then ditched us as soon as a 'better' offer came along (actually his regular night out doing the same things he did every other week)

Because he turned into a hypocritical eco-mentallist - constantly preached to everyone about the environment, very condescending, never relented but didn't stick to his own rules! Classic one was a great big Facebook rant about people buying smart phones and creating waste by ditching their old phones, even though "all you really need a phone for is calling and texting", so keep your brick-like 90s phone. Fair enough - except for the little grey text below the status which read "Posted 1 hour ago via Facebook for iPhone"...

Both those were the same guy, by the way.

Because I was an idiot.

But we chatted for two hours tonight, and I think we're friends again.

I have rarely stopped a friendship dead in its tracks.

I am in the process of cooling things with a friend who expects to have a one and a half hour conversation long distance about once a week which consists of her talking about her job and dating exploits and never asking about me. I have a full time job and a two year old and life is too fucking short.

She never came to see me because she and her husband were so 'poor' they couldn't afford the fare yet her DP earns twice what DH and I do put together and they are very comfortable (yet so tight!) Final straw was her husband begrudging my toddler one grape to eat.

Because she said I was like a cow (because I was breastfeeding).
Because she likes to make her own DD cry 'because she likes the look on her face when her DD cries'

Because she tried to give grapes to my 8 month old baby and was shocked when I said no.

Because she said I always complain about being tired I do not and she is never tired she says because she never holds her baby DD, her arms hurt too much

I'm quite harsh and usually cut people out if I feel I'm gaining nothing from the friendship. I phase them out gradually though and don't fall out with them.

Most notable phased out people:

A very demanding woman who expected me to listen to her for hours on end on the phone, talking about herself and her problems, and never ever had any time to listen to me. She repeatedly forgot arrangments we'd made, and prided herself on being 'honest' which actually in her case was code for 'fucking rude'. Final straw was when she phoned me up and had a massive go at me because our DDs, who are friends at school, had had a minor tiff that day. She totally overreacted to anything and everything, and also used to stamp her feet and tantrum when she couldn't have her own way. I think she thought the world revolved around her.

Second phased out friend was someone who constantly made passive aggressive comments 'pretending' to be my youngest DS when he was little. Lots of digs about still being in nappies, or about not having a hat on on a cold day. Also lots of comments about me that initially sounded like compliments but actually had a sting in the tail and would be a put down.

waitandsee - " 'make new friends but keep the old' My gran told me that years and years ago and I've tried to stick to it and it's been worth it. I'm always puzzled by people who move from one best friend to another and another as though looking for some kind of thrill that they can never quite achieve. I really value my oldest friends - having mutual history is such a lovely binding thing.

MrsRickyMartin

"She like to make her Dd cry because she likes the look on her face"

There is something very wrong with your former friend. Very very wrong.

Isn't that called Munchausens by Proxy Alis?

Because, despite her conveniently forgetting that I didn't know all the details of her life (some major) she 'couldn't forgive me' for not telling her about a fledging relationship (with my now husband). He and I wanted to keep it quiet for a couple of months while we worked out if it was serious (he and I had been together before but it hadn't worked out... We were once bitten, twice shy). She couldn't accept it.

Now, I'm thankful and wonder why we were ever friends in the first place. It was totally give and take (me giving, her taking).

Malcom I think that's technically making your child ill to gain attention for yourself - not sure what MrsRickyMartin's former friend is up to behind closed doors but that fact she thinks it's a normal enough thing to tell other people is worrying.

Oh yes, you're right Alis - bugger - I'm sure there's a name for doing stuff like that......

Malcom grin
You are probably right - I'm certainly no expert on the illness nor what would fall into the diagnostic criteria

I think that one sentence is the most disturbing thing I've read in a while. Whatever is going on,I feel sorry for that poor child.

Me too. I'll probably think about that all bloody night now. Very troubling.

Spent years moaning about her dh to me, but refused to leave the relationship because she loved him so much. She got pregnant by another man which was her second affair. Dh thinks child is his.
She only ever wanted me to listen, but never wanted the advise. This went on for years.
She never expressed any interest in my life.
We had nothing in common anymore.