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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

To not want to DTD

75 replies

K8eee · 17/04/2013 10:11

Am I the only female out there that really doesn't want to DTD while AF is around. DH doesn't understand the feelings of being torn in the middle with cramps and backache, along with all the usual effects of a period (typical man I know!) but just wondering how many women are with me on this one or am I just plain boring? Grin

OP posts:
KC225 · 17/04/2013 10:15

What is DTD and AF?

Crunchymunchyhoneycakes · 17/04/2013 10:16

My dh wouldn't be in the slightest bit interested in trying to 'persuade' me if I was reluctant particularly if it was because I was feeling crappy, he respects me and cares about me. Typical man eh?

Crunchymunchyhoneycakes · 17/04/2013 10:17

I believe the OP means having sexual intercourse whilst menstruating KC225.

kotinka · 17/04/2013 10:17

This reply has been deleted

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

OnTheNingNangNong · 17/04/2013 10:18

I'm not one for DTD when AF is around. Too sore and messy.

picnicbasketcase · 17/04/2013 10:18

I don't do it. I can't see how either party can feel remotely turned on with all that going on.

Imnotaslimjim · 17/04/2013 10:19

I think most men would be put off by the mess tbh, I know my DH won't go anywhere near me until I'm completely done for the month! Or is it my DH that is unusual?

AKissIsNotAContract · 17/04/2013 10:19

I find an orgasm relieves my cramps.

kotinka · 17/04/2013 10:23

This reply has been deleted

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

Ogooglebar · 17/04/2013 10:24

YANBU OP, don't do it if you don't feel like it (obviously!) But I'm the same as AKiss - orgasms relieve the cramps! We don't do PIV in the first couple of days though because it's too sore.

Kafri · 17/04/2013 10:25

to be fair I would say (d)h should b a little more considerate whatever your reason. if you don't fancy it then that should be the end of it. There's always tomorrow as it were.Smile

RatRatRat · 17/04/2013 10:28

Sex helps my cramps too.

But if you aren't feeling up to it then of course he should leave you alone.

EhricLovesTeamQhuay · 17/04/2013 10:31

I don't fuck when I'm menstruating either, I think it's a common preference. IMO most men prefer not to also (squeamish)

EhricLovesTeamQhuay · 17/04/2013 10:32

Is your partner trying to persuade you to? He should respect your wishes and leave you be.

Sallyingforth · 17/04/2013 10:33

I find it helps with cramps to. We just avoid the heaviest couple of days out of consideration for the bed sheet but it's OK in the shower

Sallyingforth · 17/04/2013 10:34

too not to !!

Binkyridesagain · 17/04/2013 10:36

Having to cover everything in plastic sheets in order to DTD isn't a turn on IMO. Also I've found a couple of ibuprofen, a hot water bottle and a bar of chocolate is better for cramps.

Loulybelle · 17/04/2013 10:38

YANBU, i did it once, the cramps, the mess and gross feeling is a passionkiller.

AnythingNotEverything · 17/04/2013 10:44

Does DH understand that consensual sex relies on agreement from both parties? It's ok to not be in the mood at any time!

DTD during AF has never even crossed my mind. Sounds quite disgusting to me.

aldiwhore · 17/04/2013 11:14

I don't have an issue with it at all, but if you don't feel like it, or if it's just not for you, then I don't don't have an issue with that either.

Personally I usually forgot I was on, and it wasn't ever that messy. There was nothing disgusting about it, certainly nothing more 'disgusting' than the usual exchange of bodily fluid.

AnythingNotEverything · 17/04/2013 11:43

Sorry - just re-read that post and it sounds really judgy! I wasn't doing any cat's bum mouth about it ... Just not my thing!

TroublesomeEx · 17/04/2013 11:54

I've only ever DTD with AF once and decided never again. It was nasty.

But again, my stbxh would never have tried to coerce me into DTD whatever my reason for saying no.

K8eee · 17/04/2013 12:53

Ah feeling a lot more reassured! Maybe it's just because DH is a horny bugger and it seems he wants to dip his wick regardless of the state I'm in...not sure whether to take that as a compliment or not Grin

We have done it in the past during AF but normally on the lighter days. I've stopped the pill and were TTC baby #1 so I think that could be another reason why he is so desperate! I agree with the duvet and choccy, much needed oh and a hot water bottle Smile

OP posts:
ouryve · 17/04/2013 12:56

Have sex. Have intercourse. Shag. Bonk.
Period. Menstruate.
Please.

But otherwise, I'm only in the mood when I'm fertile and that doesn't happen every month, these days.

ouryve · 17/04/2013 12:59

A lot of men are horny buggers, K8eee. Tell him to go please himself.

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