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AIBU?

To not want to DTD

75 replies

K8eee · 17/04/2013 10:11

Am I the only female out there that really doesn't want to DTD while AF is around. DH doesn't understand the feelings of being torn in the middle with cramps and backache, along with all the usual effects of a period (typical man I know!) but just wondering how many women are with me on this one or am I just plain boring?

OP posts:

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K8eee · 20/04/2013 12:33

Fuzz pig I have only jus caught on to what you meant dumbass is an understatement lol. I guess it could be manipulative if he is forcing me to do it but over time he's getting better. I'm feeling a lot more reassured knowing I'm not the only one who hates DTD early on in cycle

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fuzzpig · 18/04/2013 20:28

Can I admit to a cheeky snigger at 'bloody' acronyms.

crashdoll · 18/04/2013 20:26

MN has too many bloody acronyms. I thought it was Dear Twin Daughter/s!

hopkinette · 18/04/2013 20:20

if you've genuinely had an argument because you didn't want to have sex, your partner is a dick. And if he's gagging for it after a week and being a cunt about it, I'd think long and hard (arf) about having a baby

I agree.

Tweasels · 18/04/2013 20:13

These threads always make me laugh, the thing is all women's periods are different and everyone feels differently. Just because one person can do it, enjoy it and it only takes a quick wipe afterwards doesn't mean the next person wouldn't need a biohazard suit and a car wash to clean to mess up afterwards. There's no right or wrong. It's up to you.

However, if you've genuinely had an argument because you didn't want to have sex, your partner is a dick. And if he's gagging for it after a week and being a cunt about it, I'd think long and hard (arf) about having a baby.

fuzzpig · 18/04/2013 19:49

I'm that it can help cramps - I have found that in the days before I am due it can bring my period on early with worse pain.

Never tried during heavy days (thankfully only 3 each month) but I am gagging for it towards the last few days

That doesn't bother DH at all but we've never discussed doing it during full flow. But seeing as we were watching Green Wing the other day and when Guy says "you're not a real man til you've got blood on yer sword" and DH said EUUUWWWW I'm guessing that'll be a no. :o Not that I'd feel like it anyway!

StuntGirl · 18/04/2013 19:24

I don't because I gush like niagara falls during my time of the month, giant clots and everything. It's towels on bed sheets and chairs when I sit down as it is, let alone trying to shag during it. Neither of us fancy it much.

bachsingingmum · 18/04/2013 19:13

Each to their own, but it's never bothered us. Using a cap catches the worst of it. I did have a conversation once with my DF about whether there was an increased risk of catching STDs at that time. He's a gynaecologist btw. He said he didn't think there had been much research because dtd at that time was "very rare". Well no-one ever told me that! It had never occurred to me before then (my mid 30s?)that it might be unusual.

imour · 18/04/2013 18:50

you are not boring , not really a turn on for you is it , mess , back ache , belly ache , bit gross really imo .

everlong · 18/04/2013 18:45

This reply has been deleted

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

K8eee · 18/04/2013 18:43

Unami, we have DTd and gone through the same preparation beforehand as you haha. Why do they never show you the messy bits in films after a sex scene (ok you don't see the penetration but they happily roll over!)

I'm thinking that as this is my first proper period since stopping the pill it may be worse than any future ones to come. Hopefully by tonight or tomorrow I'll feel a bit more 'normal'!

OP posts:

Unami · 18/04/2013 18:29

I don't see the big deal about having sex while having periods. I've always had heavy periods, but I've always found that once I'm feeling like sex/having it, there's not actually much blood. I do chuck a towel down on the bed, just in case, but it's only really needed for a quick wipe up at the end. I actually find that it helps get rid of any cramps I've had, during it and quite a while afterwards. And it is a bad mood buster.

DP does not get a pass while I'm on my period! His ex hadn't liked to do it while on her period, so the first time I wanted to he was a bit surprised/skeptical, but now it doesn't bother him at all.

If you actually physically feel like it, but feel as if you shouldn't, then I'd say it's actually worth giving a go. I don't see why I should lose out on sex for five days a month if I don't want to.

All that said, if you know you don't feel like it at all and he is pestering you then he can GTF and get used to it.

K8eee · 18/04/2013 16:50

Quick! Get out the polythene and scrub up!

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snuffaluffagus · 18/04/2013 15:57

It would look like a scene from Dexter if I attempted anything like that during my period..

K8eee · 18/04/2013 15:28

What's wrong with referring to other women as females anyway, that's what we are!!!

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K8eee · 18/04/2013 15:27

Thanks TheDoctrine!

Just as well I am stubborn, have learnt the hard way myself by being manipulated before. Hopefully it'll be the end of his 'bothering' we shall see! This may sound silly, but reckon as he is an only child it's sort of the whole 'only child syndrome' coming out in him

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Mette7 · 18/04/2013 14:05

OP your DH sounds very annoying and selfish, if not borderline aggressive. And like hell does he NEED sex 'like you need a cuddle' That's just manipulative.

TheDoctrineOfSnatch · 18/04/2013 13:38

K8Mid, OP has posted a fair bit elsewhere.

K8eee · 18/04/2013 12:53

Exactly I wouldn't make him do something he doesn't want to and have expressed this to him a couple of times now. Things came to a head this morning (excuse the pun!) and got a bit heated so I kind of tried to put him in his place and hopefully it won't happen next month

K8Middleton are you referring to me not being a 'real' woman wanting a second opinion?!

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K8Middleton · 18/04/2013 09:39

I thought schools were back by now?

If this is not a teenage boy trying to find wank fodder and is in fact a real person in a relationship then I am very sorry and op you should have more respect for yourself and never refer to other women as 'females'

TheDoctrineOfSnatch · 18/04/2013 09:25

K8ee, suppose you and he went to concerts twice a week, you both enjoy them but once a month he suffered from bad headaches. Would you go on at him to come with you, knowing he didn't want to?

Or would you suggest either doing something else together or you going on your own (ahem ) whilst he gets some rest?

K8eee · 17/04/2013 18:23

TheDoctrine i haven't asked him outright but we haven't had sex for a week so I'm guessing he is gagging for it he has said though that he needs sex like I need a cuddle so I stepped up to the mark and am not asking for a cuddle from him, immature I know haha.

OP posts:

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expatinscotland · 17/04/2013 18:15

No, I don't like it on my period because I have next to no sensitivity.

If I'm ever resistant, DH doesn't try to persuade me. Nor do I do that to him.

TheDoctrineOfSnatch · 17/04/2013 18:06

K8ee, have you asked your DH why he wants to have sex with you at a time you don't want to have sex?

gillywillywoo · 17/04/2013 17:21

Everyone's different...

I've never had sex whilst on my period and don't think I ever will. It doesn't appeal to me at all! And definitely doesn't appeal to my husband!

I do have quite heavy periods though bleh.

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