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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

Suitable punishment for naughty 3 year old?

98 replies

Sillyboys · 01/04/2013 13:47

This is not so much an AIBU..it is an IHBU(is he being unreasonable)!DH has just returned from the park with the DSs .DS1 is 3.5 and came in in tears crying because he wanted his toy dinosaur.When I asked where it was he cried and said it was in the river.Then DH admitted he has thrown it in the river because DS1 had deliberately thrown a ball in the river that they were playing with.DS has been quite naughty recently(has a new baby brother) but I think DH has been a bit harsh.This dinosaur goes everywhere,even to bed,and I think DH has been mean.I don't agree that DS1 should get away with everything but I think confiscation would have been enough,not permanently throwing it away.AIBU?

OP posts:
hobnobsaremyfavourite · 01/04/2013 13:48

I despair....

zwischenzug · 01/04/2013 13:50

No. Throwing a 3 year olds treasured comfort toys into a river is a twatty thing to do.

SmiteYouWithThunderbolts · 01/04/2013 13:51

Shock Your poor ds!! Oh my goodness that's awful of your DH.

hobnobsaremyfavourite · 01/04/2013 13:51

There seems a recurring theme of ridiculous punishments, frothing over reactions, etc on here at the moment.

ivehadaverybadday · 01/04/2013 13:52

So is DH going to fish it out? If not I hope he's on bedtime duty tonight..

YouTheCat · 01/04/2013 13:52

So your 3 year old did something naughty and so your (presumably grown up) dh did the same thing?

It's not teaching the poor kid anything at all.

Throw the dh in the river and solve many problems.

hobnobsaremyfavourite · 01/04/2013 13:53

Op did you name change to post this thread?

McNewPants2013 · 01/04/2013 13:53

Your DH is a knob, who throws away a child comfort item.

As he takes it to bed with him, it will be him doing the bedtime routine and calming him down tonight

drivingmisspotty · 01/04/2013 13:53

Oh no! You don't ever mess with the comfort toy. I wouldn't even confiscate that. I would be so angry if that was my DH what a terrible thing to do. Send him back to the park and into the river to see if he can find it.

Asheth · 01/04/2013 13:54

I'd throw DH in the river if he did something like that....

MrsTerryPratchett · 01/04/2013 13:54

The rule in this house is that there are three things DH and I never mess with. All of which are DD's comfort things. Their removal isn't threatened, their confiscation isn't and they are never withheld. Because she is a little person with very little power and no possessions and these are her world.

I vote DH takes up diving pretty quickly. Or, you find an exact replacement and DH pretends he did.

magimedi · 01/04/2013 13:57

I would be sending DH back to the park with swimming stuff & goggles & tell him not to come home until he has dinosaur. However the fuck long it takes & however cold said pond is. I am not joking. What a twat.

thegreylady · 01/04/2013 13:57

YANBU if he is any sort of a decent father he'd be spending the afternoon fishing and swimming. The more I think about what he has done the more cruel and horrible it becomes.

Sirzy · 01/04/2013 13:58

Completely over the top unfair punishment which doesn't actually teach your child anything other than its ok to throw things in the river.

Why didn't he just bring him home after he was naughty?

JeremyPiven · 01/04/2013 13:58

That is very sad and sounds like your DH lost his temper.
No matter what my DS1 does, his bedtime comforter would never be taken from him. It would be like withdrawing a family member, some objects are not just toys to a 3yr old.

He should have brought him straight home- bad behaviour means no more playing, or removal of a toy for a period of time, or stopping another privilege. But what was done was very unkind, and actually I think it could make a child very unsettled.

Sirzy · 01/04/2013 13:59

He is also lucky he isn't fishing his son out of the river, if anyone did that with my 3 year olds stuffed dinosaur he would have been straight in to find it.

FeckOffCup · 01/04/2013 14:00

I would have gone absolutely ballistic at your DH if I was you, that is a really shitty thing to do to a 3 year old. I wouldn't have got the ball back that the child threw in, he would have lost that but to throw another toy in is crossing the line.

Lucyellensmum95 · 01/04/2013 14:01

wow - there have been some really upsettin threads recently about overharsh punishments. There must be something in the air :(

You know he has upset your son and scored an own goal because now the only DECENT thing he can do is go and either a) jump in the river to retreive the toy or b) go and buy him a new one.

Fudgemallowdelight · 01/04/2013 14:02

Your dh sounds like a twat.

kinkyfuckery · 01/04/2013 14:02

How awful for your DS! That was a horrid thing to do, and your 'D'H should go do everything he can to get the toy back, fucking idiot.
And also, not let your kids play by the river!

Thumbwitch · 01/04/2013 14:04

OMG what an idiot he is. Your poor DS1. :(

I hope you can actually get a replacement, as I doubt the original will be replaceable, but what a way to wreck his son's security. I'd be so angry, so very angry.

Thumbwitch · 01/04/2013 14:05

...I doubt the original will be replaceable retrievable...

Badvoc · 01/04/2013 14:05

Your dh is a twat.
He is an adult.
Your ds is a child.
See the difference?

Maryz · 01/04/2013 14:06

This reply has been deleted

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

Maryz · 01/04/2013 14:07

This reply has been deleted

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

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