To be absolutely FUCKING FURIOUS that my period has started

[MaryZeZJezuzIzntZombiedYet]

because I'm 50. And I've been having periods since I was 12. Every fucking 28 days like fucking clockwork (apart from the infertility drug years).

And then in November I missed one, and I thought "whoopee, that's it, all over, done with menopause here I come.

I was wrong. Christmas was like a scene from the Texas Chain Saw Massacre.

And then January nothing, nada, zilch (yippee).

And now, here we fucking go again.

Disclaimer: I will not be responsible for my actions if anyone is unwise enough to inform me AIBU.

So you had better all ignore this thread.

Yabu

It may be the beginning of the end though, Mary.

Erratic periods... that's how my mum's menopause started. Then her language got really fruity.

Has your language got really fruity?

YANBU

I just said to my sister last night 'it starts to fucking early and goes on too fucking long'

Surely it should start at 20 and end at 40?

::hands over sanpro of choice::

Fuck off to the far side of fuck, and when you get there fuck off some more

[mutter]

This is why I enjoy being pregnant. Yanbu.

you are the most reasonable person I have ever met.

hahahaha - (not) - wait till you go 18 months, the flushes are a thing of the past and then you realise that there is a whole abattoir going on down below, with clots the size of crème eggs, and 4 night pads last you 30 mins.

Who?

(that was to Loves btw)

Yes, start at 25, finish at 35, with an option extension for those who would like to sprog later.

haha no yanbu

That's a good description Holly.

I don't need SanPro. I need a swimming pool. Or a moonbucket.

I had no idea you were pregnant, Fakebook. When are you due?

Slugs .

Chucks out window.

[arf]

Seriously though, who designed us like this?

Who thought this method of reproduction was a good idea?

Oh, yes God, isn't it? Is he a man by any chance?

at moonBucket

There's no way one of those tiny thimbles is going to last 2 seconds is there?

You have my sympathy.

I've got it worse.

Monster period - pain, mess, discomfort, smell, anaemia, spots, headache, tired......

....and H has eaten my FUCKING CHOCOLATE BAR earmarked for supper following back to back meetings on a day I don't usually fucking work.

Reading Holly's post - I'm glad I'm not the only one.

It's just horrible

I could have FUCKING HOT CROSS BUN !?!?

Oh and I've got hairs sprouting from my chin and acne.

I barely managed to shift the fucking acne and now it's back with a vengeance.

That bastard.

I have a confession.

I had to take ds2 to training tonight. I had an hour to fill in and normally would come home. But I went to the supermarket and bought:

one bottle of wine (white, Chilean, rather good)

three one large bar of chocolate

a packet of Feminax

I'm settling in for the night

DON'T MENTION CHIN HAIRS

Mine have just gone grey